To wonder what you advised your failing children to do for careers?

[lennypenny]

If your child was failing in school due to not being very academic or simply just average; what did you advise them to do for their futures (not including trades)?

Any stories of how they still managed to build a successful life for themselves or are they in low paid, unfulfilling work?

I see success as doing something you enjoy, whilst making a salary that gives you a comfortable life.

OK, well that's fair enough. If he's good with people then Sales may be a good option. I think it's easier for men in some sectors as they can do the matey matey thing without all the embarrassing semi flirting. Bond by playing golf, going for drinks, etc.

@AloysiusBear, thanks so much for your response, if it’s not too much trouble and not too outing, please would you PM me the name of your company. I’m actually feeling a bit sick reading this thread and realising how little my DD is going to be able to do in future. I’m constantly in battle mode with school and life, trying to ensure my DD can access her legal rights to education etc; it actually hadn’t occurred to me to worry yet about her future beyond university, daft as that may sound!

It’s really comforting to hear that people with severe sight impairments can fulfil their potential and achieve well in a supportive environment.

I did well at school, went to uni, got a good career which pays above average (although not talking big bucks) and married someone who earns a bit more than me but most of my friends who haven’t done that have bigger houses and a lot more disposable income as they’ve married into money, got lucky with the houses they’ve bought or had huge financial help from family. My husband who has no exam results is in a trade and earns more than I do. Doing well at school is only part of the picture.

She clearly didn’t say that did she?

I struggle with your use of the word failing. People who are not academic are not failures in the least - they are simply themselves and just as valuable and employable and precious as someone with a string of degrees.

Your post encapsulates for me all that is wrong with our education system. Children are indoctrinated from day one to equate academic achievement with personal worth. It makes me very very angry.

One of my DDs is dyslexic - school nearly destroyed her.

Most of the A* children are eager to go to uni so there are plenty of apprenticeships who don’t get the quota of pupils they want to sponsor. You just need to know where to look.

There are new qualifications like Tlevels which gives them insight the work, if they get a good provider.

I wonder what your son’s motivation for accountancy is? Is it the money or does he think he’ll actually enjoy it?
He sounds like he’s overwhelmed if he wants to play Xbox, rather than study for his GCSEs. If he doesn’t, he needs to know he’s hot options, if he fails. It might help take the pressure off ?

My apologies if I am repeating previous posts, just off to bed and haven't time to read everything.
So the rules in England are that everyone has to stay in education or training until they are 18, if maths and/or English grade 4 aren't achieved at GCSE then these have to be taken alongside other courses (until 18 then functional skills).
Alternatives to 'A' levels, are BTEC diplomas, 'T' levels and Apprenticeships.
A level 3 BTEC is roughly equiv to 2 'A' levels, A level 3 extended equiv to 3 'A' levels. A T' level is again roughly equiv to 3 'A' levels.
They are usually available at colleges (go to the open days, the first ones will be soon) , will result in UCAS points, and allow progression onto HE/FE/Higher apprenticeships or employment depending on subject studied.
If university might be a consideration, some degree subjects such as Business and Finance don't often require specific subjects, more the ability to study at a higher level with decent grades and obvious intention/interest.
Apprenticeships are great and come in different levels and people often progress through the company if they work well. Applications are not dissimilar to job applications and usually include a CV and cover letter. Yes, they can be competitive, but are a fantastic way of getting into finance, business and even law. I see lots of finance and accountancy apprenticeships, and maths 'A' level is rarely a requirement! The website Rate My Apprenticeship gives good advice and if you search up parents guide to apprenticeships in a search engine, you will get all sorts of free downloads.
There is also a main government search engine for apprenticeships, but big companies also advertise their schemes on their websites, so if a particular company is of interest, then look at their early careers page.
If your child is Year 11 , they should have a one to one interview at school with a qualified careers advisor (DfE guidance and all schools have to provide this). Decent careers advisors are worth their weight in gold.
The best plan is to have a goal to work towards, doesn't matter too much what is is as they will often change their minds. Look at icould.com or Barclays lifeskills. There are lots of careers quizzes online too.
Don't forget they can apply for as many courses and options as they like (Different Sixth forms, colleges and apprenticeships), so a Plan A, B, C and beyond. This allows them to choose the best option on results day.
Good luck!

I'm sorry to hear that and I am sorry to offend. I agree with you by the way. I hope you daughter is doing what she enjoys now.

I’ve advised them not to be arseholes.

@HikingforScenery he has already passed 2 GCSE. I told him to remember that to take the pressure off of him.

Unsure where he came up with accountancy. They do have career talks at school so might be from there.

Tell them to work in a factory. Preferably one full of men. Dh works with men on over 40 a year. No qualifications, just longevity.I was your classic A* /A student; coped with being called a swot, becausegrades=good money and people who fuck about get nothing. Right?
I've been teaching for over 20 years and earn just about that. And I don't get weekends off. I definitely chosewrongly.

@WomanStanleyWoman2

My DS is not an arshole though and neither am I for not wanting him to struggle in life.
Why do you need to tell your DC not to be arsholes? Is that what you think of them?

Thank you for taking the time to type this - very useful.

University isn’t everything. I know quite a few intelligent folk that went to university, but have literally no common sense. My son isn’t academic, he’s only 12, so a bit early. I’ll be encouraging him to take on an apprenticeship. Quite a few people in my small town have done very well for themselves running their own businesses, joiners, plumbers, decorators. Have very large houses, nice cars.

Have a look at the Big 4 recruitment requirement. Maths A. Level is not required and they take school leavers. You’re over think and likely stressing him out. He’s far from failing.

as Others have said, you don’t need A Level maths to be an accountant. You just need to be good at basic maths skills, not the advanced stuff. Having said that the exams are tricky so you do need to be fairly academic.

You need to look at what they're good at and how can you encourage nurture and develop that. I also think it's important to recognise that certain education styles and classroom settings don't suit some children's learning styles but tech or different environments might allow them to flourish. It depends on your child but I think the first step is making sure that the academic progress in school doesn't affect their confidence in themselves and they still retain a good sense of who they are and what they're good at like art/sport/ caring for people/ being a good friend/ thinking creatively/cooking etc etc. I'd also probably encourage other experiences that can help them try new things they might find they enjoy. When I think about who I went to school with the ones who went on to tech after gcse or a level are now doing really well in their own businesses etc and were home owners etc while I was still gaining student loans for a degree I didn't even get a job out of.

Failing? At what exactly?
School is extraordinarily limited in its ability to judge student’s potential. They either do well at certain things, in which case they are ‘successful ‘ or don’t in which case they are deemed a failure.
In answer to your question I have one son who was extremely academic, he’s now a GP. I have one son with severe dyslexia but with a burning interest in the creative industries. He now works, behind the scenes in the film industry.
My husband and I encouraged and supported his desire to work in film, we didn’t ever see him as less able than his brother but he is different. Please don’t let your child know you view them as a failure.

@HyggeandTea , wow, this is really useful, thanks so much! Are you a careers adviser? If so, do you have any specialist advice for a young person who is registered blind and also diagnosed with ADHD and autism?

I often wish Mumsnet had a like/love/sad etc option in response to comments. I would have given yours a love. Totally agree.

@EmmatheStageRat if your DD is showing any interest or aptitude for IT it's a really inclusive sector, lots of home working, ability to set own hours in some roles, opportunities for freelance/consulting. She could use her first hand experience to develop tools for digital accessibility or consult on UX (user experience).

There's huge focus at the moment on digital accessibility compliance, some countries are making it essential for any companies that offer public services to be VPAT or WCAG compliant so it's opening up lots of opportunities and new career specialities.

My DH didn’t even sit a single GCSE never mind achieve any, or indeed any formal qualifications. We own a 4 bed detached house with detached double garage that he pays for, and supports us financially, as we have young kids and he earns far more than I can as a skilled tradesperson 😬 being academic ain’t always all that!

I would remind myself that it isn't my child that is failing school but the education system that is failing my child.

Square peg, round hole.

As a parent it's my responsibility to ensure that my child is valued for the better part of the day and if this is mostly at school I would be challenging education staff as to why they aren't finding alternative ways of educating my child by ensuring that their main priority is to ensure my child's self esteem is paramount in their learning style.

I would also remind myself that the last two years has been particularly damaging for all children everywhere. Emotional damage which includes family separation, house moves and new schools can throw even the most determined and we'll loved little person into turmoil so being cut off from peers and family and being subjected to reduced socialization will be a part of history that will stay with all of us.

Children's 'hard days' should be taken so much more seriously than adults and registering them for at least a year can also give them the chance to find their way back to what they enjoy learning.

He's only 19 so too soon to say if he's a success or not in his chosen career, but my son went to a vocational college and did fitness instructor and personal training qualifications. It was an obvious choice as he was very into sports, went to the gym almost daily, and had his own journey of losing 40kg at 13 by overhauling his diet. But he still took some convincing. At first I though sport science at uni, but it became apparent he wasn't going to do well at his GCSEs and wanted out of school. So this seemed a good alternative. He's a good motivator snd can be very self disciplined, just not when it comes to hitting the books.