To ask parents of DDs how you'd want this to be handled

[drelo2]

DS has just turned 15, he went over his friends house last night which he's done multiple times before and he's always been well behaved etc.

I had a message off the friends gf’s mum this morning saying the friend was asking her DD for nudes when the gf said no they made a group chat and kept asking and when she said no asking why she wouldn't, basically pestering her, apparently this was mainly the friend though. The friend did face time her and she did show them something but she told her mum it was to shut them up.

I'm furious with DS, I have spoken to him and hes blamed the friend for it and he asked if they could do something else and he said no, I obviously don't know if this is true and I suspect the friend will say the same about DS.

How would you want this to be handled?

As a mother of a 15yo DD I’d involve the police and the school. I can see you’re already minimising the bullying, coercion and sexual abuse your son has been been dishing out so it’s unlikely anything you do will illustrate to him how serious an offence this is. Hopefully a talking to from the police would drive home the message.

They would still have very strong words to say to her. She had a choice not to send anything & ignore messages. Yes the boys were 100% in the wrong but she could have put a stop to it aswell but now bowing to peer pressure & spoken to her mum in the 1st instance

Spot on .... exactly the point...trying to use as a learning and character development thing, punishment alone just pushes the attitudes and peer pressure underground!

I actually think this is a police matter.

I'm not sure that's a good idea
But the girl has also committed an offense by sending indecent images s to a minor!

I would be as livid about him not standing up to his friend in the face of this as if he were doing it himself to be honest.

Absolutely no tech with kind of internet connection for I don't know how long tbh.
Grounded until the other side of half term
And absolutely hammer home how wrong their behaviour was and the potential consequences, including criminal...I would go into the exercise intending to scare the shit out him tbh.

You are a fantastic mother. Sincere Respect

I would sit him down and make him watch The Most Hated Man on the Internet watching it might help him see how this affects women and the families of women.

I would then expect him to apologise to the girl and remove his phone until he has a better understanding of how women should be treated & respected.

For the future set him up a code word he can text you and you collect him with no questions asked about why.
DS didn’t know how to get out of the situation and needs support. He can then say to his friends “oh my mum is so lame. I need to go as she’s got work, or something has broken at home. “

my son has this and I’ll quite happily take the blame as the bad guy/woman to help him get out of an uncomfortable situation.

peer pressure is so hard to stand up against so best thing is to recognise it.

girls need education as she could have blocked their numbers, left the group chat etc rather than do something to shut them up.

He should be apologising the the whole bloody family. When you behave like this the repercussions affect so many more people then you think it will!!

He should apologise to everyone for the anxiety, upset and anger they are feeling that he caused.

It's a 6 month old thread. I imagine the OP has already dealt with it.

@BuddyandTinsel yes, I just realised lol 🤦🏻‍♀️ sorry!

@StopStartStop "Wipe the floor with the rapey bastard.
Basically."

Well that escalated!