Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To park in a parent / child space ?

223 replies

XPD · 08/10/2022 22:51

I have a blue badge (Multiple Sclerosis). I get that it's on the whole a hidden disability (unless you are in a wheelchair). My (in public) problems currently is numbness from the eyes down plus urgency to use the toilet.

Anyway, pulled into a motorway services today. All the disabled spaces were taken, so I parked in a parent / child space. This is the first time I've ever had to do this - and I was at the point of wetting myself. A lady and her partner started (literally) screaming at me for not having a child with me. I have huge problems with my bladder, I'm not sure if I was in the wrong?

What do you think ? Was I in the wrong ?

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/10/2022 13:17

XYZ32 · 09/10/2022 10:45

If you was in urgent need and having a bad day they YWNBU
What annoys me is when disabled people don't necessarily need to use disabled bays but yet do! I have 2 DC in wheelchairs so obviously have blue badge but can also use parent an child bays, I hate it when someone gets out their cars an pretty much slip into a store. Yes may be a hidden disability but their able body so I don't think this is fair.
My DB got a blue badge for my Neice. She's very mild autistic if at all they really pushed for this, but this really pissed me off how he got one when their is no mobility issues!

It isn't disability top trumps. If a person has a BB they can park in a BB bay. End of story

sandytooth · 09/10/2022 13:36

XYZ32 · 09/10/2022 10:45

If you was in urgent need and having a bad day they YWNBU
What annoys me is when disabled people don't necessarily need to use disabled bays but yet do! I have 2 DC in wheelchairs so obviously have blue badge but can also use parent an child bays, I hate it when someone gets out their cars an pretty much slip into a store. Yes may be a hidden disability but their able body so I don't think this is fair.
My DB got a blue badge for my Neice. She's very mild autistic if at all they really pushed for this, but this really pissed me off how he got one when their is no mobility issues!

You have no idea they don't need to. For instance some disabilities are affected by the cumulative effects of walking further so they may only seem to not need the space because they have been using the space to pace themselves.

BlankTimes · 09/10/2022 13:48

XYZ32 · 09/10/2022 10:45

If you was in urgent need and having a bad day they YWNBU
What annoys me is when disabled people don't necessarily need to use disabled bays but yet do! I have 2 DC in wheelchairs so obviously have blue badge but can also use parent an child bays, I hate it when someone gets out their cars an pretty much slip into a store. Yes may be a hidden disability but their able body so I don't think this is fair.
My DB got a blue badge for my Neice. She's very mild autistic if at all they really pushed for this, but this really pissed me off how he got one when their is no mobility issues!

You need to educate yourself. Seriously.

If you think ALL people with hidden disabilities have no physical effects so don't need a BB space, you need to think again.

JHS, CFS, PoTS, all forms of EDS, and many other condiions can be invisible, a person can walk into a store seemingly okay, but after a very short distance may need support.

For example, my DD can sometimes walk in a confident manner to the store, but then leans on the trolley and finds that an okay compromise for her despite being NHS wheelchair assessed and offered many years ago.

She only goes out on a day when her mobility and other disabillities aren't affecting her too badly. You may see her walk "confidently" into a store from a BB space and wonder, but you've not seen her on the previous up to 20 days at a time before that not having the ability to make the trip there.

If you followed her round the store on one of her 'good' days, you'd see she needs frequent rests and often leaves me with the trolley while she sits on a bench in the store until she can carry on.

Her BB renewal came at the time we were waiting for her PIP Tribunal As it happened, the BB assessor scored my DD's mobility lower in the 'how many yards' category than the PIP assessor had done.
She was granted a renewed BB before the Tribunal sat and the BB asessor's examination was presented as more evidence at Tribunal.

There's no such diagnosis as "very mild autistic" again, education would help you. Also autism is rarely present alone, it usually has one or several co-morbid conditions which alone would pass the BB criteria.

I'm sure you are very knowledgeable about your own childrens' disabilities, but you have no right or currently knowledge to judge anyone else's BB provision based on observing them for a minute or so from getting out of their car and walking to a store.
You have absolutely no idea about their medical conditions or capabilities, nor should you.

Worrysaboutalot · 09/10/2022 14:34

XPD · 09/10/2022 10:41

Thank you all.
Feel a bit better about it this morning.

Yes, she screamed at me.
A proper scream.

Morally and legally, you can park in any yellow space, parent & child space and single yellow lines (plus a few more places with limitations) in council owned carparks and on the public highway.

Most supermarkets have similar rules, which they apply to their private carparks. Certainly, the major shopping centre near to us, not only enforces these common-sense rules but tickets those who break them.

That woman was out of order, and I hope you never encounter her again. I get looks when I park in yellow spaces but once they see my wheelchair they wander off, lol (I use hand controls to drive for those that over worry)

ps. I have the similar numb thing you talk about, mine only starts on my chest but I also have no idea when I need to go. I found a vibrating watch alarms every two hours to remind me to go to the toilet help reduce accidents. Maybe this might be useful to you?

OhItsSpicyy · 09/10/2022 15:40

XYZ32 · 09/10/2022 10:45

If you was in urgent need and having a bad day they YWNBU
What annoys me is when disabled people don't necessarily need to use disabled bays but yet do! I have 2 DC in wheelchairs so obviously have blue badge but can also use parent an child bays, I hate it when someone gets out their cars an pretty much slip into a store. Yes may be a hidden disability but their able body so I don't think this is fair.
My DB got a blue badge for my Neice. She's very mild autistic if at all they really pushed for this, but this really pissed me off how he got one when their is no mobility issues!

As a parent of two disabled children it shocks me that you are this ignorant. Blue badges are not only for people with obvious mobility issues. Would you prefer someone was to soil themselves because they’re not in a wheelchair so they don’t deserve to be able to ‘slip into the store’. I look physically fine and still have a blue badge. Because I need one. I need to be able to open the door wide to get out of my car but you can’t see that. I need to be able to get to the toilet on time. Christ.

Phos · 09/10/2022 16:13

They probably didn't see your blue badge and how are they meant to know you're having bladder issues? Loads of people unnecessarily use these spaces so I get why they assumed you fell into this category.

Notthetoothfairy · 09/10/2022 16:16

You could not be less unreasonable, you needed that space far more than someone with a baby. You must have/be entitled to a blue badge though so should just point nosey idiots who challenge you in its direction and carry on doing what you need.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/10/2022 16:19

Phos · 09/10/2022 16:13

They probably didn't see your blue badge and how are they meant to know you're having bladder issues? Loads of people unnecessarily use these spaces so I get why they assumed you fell into this category.

Why assume? None of their business.

Phos · 09/10/2022 16:22

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/10/2022 16:19

Why assume? None of their business.

It is if they needed that space and saw someone without a kid using it.

FatKyle · 09/10/2022 16:33

Phos · 09/10/2022 16:22

It is if they needed that space and saw someone without a kid using it.

It really isn't.

gogohmm · 09/10/2022 16:34

If no bb spaces are free we use p&c because dsd needs the rear door fully open to get in and out of the car plus needs her seatbelt done up. She's an adult, nobody has ever challenged us, if fact we have been told to move to the p&c space by the garden centre employee in the past (were in a normal space as all bb were full, didn't know they had p&c)

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/10/2022 16:42

Phos · 09/10/2022 16:22

It is if they needed that space and saw someone without a kid using it.

It's naff all to do with anyone why anyone else is parking anywhere unless it's on your drive or a legally required BB space TBh

Sirzy · 09/10/2022 16:43

Phos · 09/10/2022 16:22

It is if they needed that space and saw someone without a kid using it.

Unless they are a parking attendant then it’s not.

and nobody NEEDS a p and c space. They are nice where free but not a NEED unlike suitable parking for people with disabilities

Forfukzsake · 09/10/2022 16:45

Parents do not need special spaces. Disabled people do. What self righteous arses shouting about anybody doing anything. They need to mind their own business.

Yourhamsterisnonbinary · 09/10/2022 16:55

Nobody's business where people park when it's in car park spaces. Disabled spaces for the disabled but other than that it's no one's business. If someone started shouting at someone else for parking in a P and C, I would think them a right twat.

MotherOfPuffling · 09/10/2022 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Deleted for troll hunting

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/10/2022 16:59

This reply has been deleted

Deleted for troll hunting

I'm hoping by the fact they've not returned they've already been booted

Arbesque · 09/10/2022 17:01

I remember someone on another forum proudly boasting that her elderly mother, who had recently had a hip replacement, wouldn't let her park in a p&c space because 'they're for young mothers' to a chorus of approval from other posters.

Imagine making an elderly woman who had just had an operation feel guilty for using a space near the door. It was a bit sickening.

ErrolTheDragon · 09/10/2022 17:19

Phos · 09/10/2022 16:13

They probably didn't see your blue badge and how are they meant to know you're having bladder issues? Loads of people unnecessarily use these spaces so I get why they assumed you fell into this category.

People should have some awareness of 'hidden disabilities', and therefore if they really feel the need to police P&C spaces they should at least have a look for whether there's a blue badge before doing so.

SemperIdem · 09/10/2022 17:37

Phos · 09/10/2022 16:13

They probably didn't see your blue badge and how are they meant to know you're having bladder issues? Loads of people unnecessarily use these spaces so I get why they assumed you fell into this category.

Assuming it and getting on with your day and acting like an aggressive, confrontational gobshite are two different things.

AnorLondo · 09/10/2022 19:01

Phos · 09/10/2022 16:13

They probably didn't see your blue badge and how are they meant to know you're having bladder issues? Loads of people unnecessarily use these spaces so I get why they assumed you fell into this category.

Maybe she should've looked closer before screaming at someone.

Cruisebabe1 · 09/10/2022 19:05

dementedpixie · 08/10/2022 22:54

No you weren't wrong
Don't worry about the arseholes berating you

I have had this mentality about parking spaces , I was told once that I was misusing a blue badge when it was my photo on it. I have mostly had vile abuse from elderly people who think they have the right to police all of this. It can be very upsetting. I would love to be more mobile . Grr

stringstrong · 09/10/2022 19:10

No op you weren't wrong
In one of our local supermarkets blue badge holders sometimes park in the p&c spaces even when there's disabled free as they're closer to the door.
I have a baby and a 3 door car but I've never gotten cross about it because in my mind blue badge trumps all else in parking
It is what it is

ThinWomansBrain · 09/10/2022 19:19

You weren't in the wrong - but if your disability isn't visible, maybe she hadn't seen the blue badge?
Was slightly surprised at an incredibly bad driver (that was why I was watching her) pulled in to a parent and child space yesterday. The child was taller than she was - probably 12-14 ish - definitely didn't require additional space to get his pushchair in and out.

Mommabear20 · 09/10/2022 20:02

I get thoroughly pissed when people with no kids with them park in parent and child spaces, but I'd never be annoyed by a blue badge holder using them! For me at least, as a soon to be mum of 3 under 3, blue badge holders take priority over parents. We chose to have children and all the inconvenience that can bring, people with disabilities don't! Yadnbu

Swipe left for the next trending thread