To park in a parent / child space ?

[XPD]

I have a blue badge (Multiple Sclerosis). I get that it's on the whole a hidden disability (unless you are in a wheelchair). My (in public) problems currently is numbness from the eyes down plus urgency to use the toilet.

Anyway, pulled into a motorway services today. All the disabled spaces were taken, so I parked in a parent / child space. This is the first time I've ever had to do this - and I was at the point of wetting myself. A lady and her partner started (literally) screaming at me for not having a child with me. I have huge problems with my bladder, I'm not sure if I was in the wrong?

What do you think ? Was I in the wrong ?

I once parked in a P&C spot with an elderly relative with blue badge because ridiculously it was closer to the door than the disabled parking spaces not already in use. A man hurled abuse at me who had a boy of about 10 in his car and obviously wanted the space. I pointed at my elderly relative and mouthed 'parent' and then myself 'child'........ I'm usually quite shy and retiring and shocked myself but he made my blood boil to be so abusive when he could see a very elderly person struggling across to the store when he had no need of that spot just to lazy to walk.

This brings to mind a programme I watched about parking enforcement officers in Central London. A woman parked her car using a blue badge parked in a disabled spot but the officers were suspicious -- Blue badge belonged to her mother and she tried to say her mum was in the shop which was Harrods. Anyway they found out her mum was at home so she was fined.
She would have needed a blue badge in her name
to park legally in the disabled spot so no she couldn't park there without one @PrincessButtercupToo

When my mother was dying of pancreatic cancer I parked in a parent and child spot, she didn’t qualify for a blue badge, could barely walk and had extreme difficulty and immense pain getting in and out of cars.
Parent and child spots lessened her discomfort and distance she had to walk, so I used them and make no apologies for doing so.

If anyone had attempted to throw the disgusting bile that @PrincessButtercupToo
is spouting in my direction I’d have taken great pleasure in tearing them a new arse hole.

It saddens me to think some parents like the above mentioned poster have absolutely no compassion for others who may be more in need of a parking space.

I’m sorry you were yelled at OP, you were not wrong to park there, legally or morally.

@MarshaMelrose we have no paths which is less than ideal for everyone’s safety. The children are not terribly uncontrolled but aren’t completely predictable either. One is referred for adhd assessment and easily distracted one is a toddler one is usually sensible but is still mid primary. I could take my chances so other people such as you don’t feel hard done by. Perhaps I have failed as a parent or perhaps it is accounted for in these accommodations that toddlers and small children are safer away from moving vehicles and less able to assess and mitigate the risk. I’d rather make it safer for my children and be potentially annoying to others with my life choices and as per OP always concede that disabled parking should trump P&C. Adults without any disabilities can walk and be a bit accommodating.

I could take my chances so other people such as you don’t feel hard done by.

That would much appreciated. Thank you. 🙂

Such weird attitudes towards P&C spaces on Mumsnet!

I have a baby and a 2-year-old. It can often be impossible to get them both out in a standard space (depending on the space size and other vehicles parked). I honestly don't know why anyone would be resentful of me being provided a space that allows me to get both my children out. I need the extra space. Some sort of jealousy? It's fucking weird.

But yanbu OP. The people who were shitty to you probably made assumptions that didn't include you having a BB.

Of course they have less right because it's illegal to park in disabled spaces without a badge but not illegal to park in P&C spaces without a child. Are you blind?

Just for the sake of clarity, it's not actually illegal to park in any space in a private car park. In other words, the police are not going to be enforcing any lack of adherence.
The car park owner can make up whatever rules they like to govern their car park. Possibly they are required by the local authority to have a certain percentage of disabled spaces, and beyond that, if they then choose to prioritise the remaining spaces to those with green faces and purple hair… that's their prerogative.

OP, please give the screaming woman no more credence than you would to a barking dog.

What on earth? Needing the toilet is not a disability. It’s completely unreasonable for someone to take a disabled space just because they need the loo. Try being disabled for a day before you write shit like this.

OP you were completely not in the wrong. Your need for a space is much greater than a parent with a child.

Ah, @PrincessButtercupToo strikes again! 🙄

Next time park on double yellows as close to your destination as you can.
With a Blue Badge you are entitled to 3 hours double yellow parking, provided you are not obstructing traffic.

Hi OP .. I certainly wouldn’t be irritated by you using the P&C space in this instance and YANBU.

The people who screamed at you were probably frustrated by seeing, for the thousandth time, someone using a P&C space without a child. Yes, P&C spaces are a courtesy for parents, however a lot of people aren’t very courteous about leaving them for that purpose and they constantly get abused. That doesn’t justify their behaviour towards you and they shouldn’t have made a snap judgement, they should have kept their nose out of your business, but I can understand parents’ frustrations, in general.

Some people seemingly get irritated when a parent dares to grumble about issues with parking, and don’t understand why they can’t just shut up and use standard spaces. Well, some car parks aren’t that big and don’t have quieter areas for parents to park out of the way to ensure they have enough space. If parents use a standard space and park in a way that gives them enough room, there’s always a chance that someone else then parks too close to them and they’re unable to get children/pushchairs into the car on their return. Also, it’s safer for parents to have the extra space at the side of the car to put their baby in the pushchair, for example, especially if they have other children to then tend to. Not a lot of standard spaces are next to a walkway.

If people with a greater need have no alternative but to use a P&C space, that’s fine .. but please don’t use them for the sake of it.

There's always one on these types of threads ,disabled spaces are a legality ,parent and child spaces are not yoy can't compare them ,this might blow your mind but my child has a blue badge children can also be disabled.

That's not quite true my son has a blue badge he's a child ,we also have a mobility car for him my dh is the nominated driver ,but obviously he can only use the disabled space if our son is with him.

Aren't you technically allowed to do this, if you have a blue badge?

Not lived in the UK for a long time, so I'm perfectly happy to be corrected, but I'm sure it was the case that blue badge holders could park almost anywhere they needed to.

You did nothing wrong! I stopped at the Services recently with my disabled dad who was busting for the loo. He uses a walker, has limited mobility and there's no way he could have made it to the doors from across the other side of the car park. All the disabled spaces were taken so I popped into a parent/child space and put the blue badge on display. I have no guilt about this whatsoever!

This absolutely, I also have MS OP, it’s really bloody hard at times, you did the right thing.

I don't know what rules are in England but in Scotland you would get upto £1000 fine if you park in a disabled space without a blue badge. @PrincessButtercupToo you are something else. I personally think you like all the attention your getting.

Maybe PrincessButtercup is pissed off someone parked on her bridge.

With a blue badge you can park in whatever space is most convenient.

It's fine to park in the parent and child space op. Particularly if you have a blue badge.

What???? No able bodied person should use a disabled parking space never.

You are allowed to display a blue badge and use a parent and child bag if all disabled spaces are taken, so you are not unreasonable.

This.

Parent and child spaces should indeed be at the far end of the car park to tire the kids out. I don’t know why there are so many though as surely soon no one with kids to feed will be able to afford to run a car

I don’t park in them because I am a conformist but I do think they are a bit silly. I mean where are the

old people spaces
exhausted from doing night shift spaces
poor Mental health spaces
short people with shorter legs than some spaces
fat people spaces

it is just a bit ridiculous.

I think the OP was right to park as close as she could considering her situation. I am intrigued by how a car can be adapted for someone to drive who is numb from the neck down as well.