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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To park in a parent / child space ?

223 replies

XPD · 08/10/2022 22:51

I have a blue badge (Multiple Sclerosis). I get that it's on the whole a hidden disability (unless you are in a wheelchair). My (in public) problems currently is numbness from the eyes down plus urgency to use the toilet.

Anyway, pulled into a motorway services today. All the disabled spaces were taken, so I parked in a parent / child space. This is the first time I've ever had to do this - and I was at the point of wetting myself. A lady and her partner started (literally) screaming at me for not having a child with me. I have huge problems with my bladder, I'm not sure if I was in the wrong?

What do you think ? Was I in the wrong ?

OP posts:
Confuzzlediddled · 08/10/2022 23:41

Maybe the screaming woman was princessbuttercuptoo?@PrincessButtercupToo

Novum · 08/10/2022 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

OP didn't choose to wait till the last minute to go. Due to her disability, she has a condition that gives her urgency. If you don't know what that means, I suggest you find out.

WildImaginings · 08/10/2022 23:44

@PrincessButtercupToo You're an utter disgrace. I'd be ashamed if my mother spouted the shit you've come out with on this thread so I'd imagine your kids will soon form their own opinions of you 👍

XenoBitch · 08/10/2022 23:45

Blue Badge means you can park anywhere within reason.

Parent and child parking means fuck all. It is a courtesy offered by supermarkets.

marvellousmaple · 08/10/2022 23:48

@PrincessButtercupToo has left her 5 story ( sic) London townhouse occasionally I note. Did she say she had twins? What is it with the twins.

Lysianthus · 08/10/2022 23:49

WildImaginings · 08/10/2022 23:44

@PrincessButtercupToo You're an utter disgrace. I'd be ashamed if my mother spouted the shit you've come out with on this thread so I'd imagine your kids will soon form their own opinions of you 👍

I've read the thread, and can only think that princess buttercup has been on the sherry. I wouldn't like to debate anything with them irl because you'd never win...

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 08/10/2022 23:50

Technically @PrincessButtercupToo is correct in that supermarket disabled spaces or any disabled spaces in private car parks don't legally require a blue badge to use them. The Blue Badges are to allow for parking in public places like on double yellow lines. I do however disagree with everything else in term of tone and general unpleasantness from this poster.

OP, you had a genuine need to use the space and as such you were fine to use it, your need was arguably more valid and urgent than that of a parent wanting to use the space to make it easier to get their car seat in and out.

marvellousmaple · 08/10/2022 23:50

No I was wrong - a baby and a toddler.

Vegay · 08/10/2022 23:55

Lmfao @PrincessButtercupToo What a 'princess' you are.

No, @XPD, you were not being unreasonable at all. Well, you were, you should've told them to go get fucked.

I don't have a disability, but if nature called, and all I could find was a P&C spot, I'd take it, do my business and vacate ASAP.

Daisymae55 · 08/10/2022 23:56

I honestly rage internally when I see hoards of people using parent and child spaces without children

HOWEVER your situation is totally different. You’re entitled to a disabled spot, there’s none left, it’s right for you to go for the next best option

ilovesooty · 09/10/2022 00:06

Lysianthus · 08/10/2022 23:49

I've read the thread, and can only think that princess buttercup has been on the sherry. I wouldn't like to debate anything with them irl because you'd never win...

Show quote history

The analogy of chessboards and pigeons comes to mind.

BashfulClam · 09/10/2022 00:07

I used parent and child sauced when MIL hurt her leg and couldn’t get out of the car without opening the door wide. She also needed to hold onto someone’s arm to steady her so you couldn’t drop her off and park. It was temporary so she wouldn’t qualify for a blue badge. Anyone with a problem could ram it.

MotherOfLunatics · 09/10/2022 00:11

coffeeandpoetry · 08/10/2022 23:10

@PrincessButtercupToo

"Parent and child parking bay law: what are the rules?

Parent and child parking bays are commonplace in supermarket car parks. Most of these are private property.

As such, there are no official government or council-level rules on parent and child parking in the same way you’d get for disabled parking spaces.

Parking in a supermarket car park is managed and enforced by the supermarket itself, or by a private parking management company.

That means it’s not illegal to park in a parent and child space without a child. But you could get a Parking Charge Notice (PCN), the same as you would if you overstayed in a car park."

I'm not arguing that blue badge holders shouldn't park in PC (which should be parent baby/toddler) spaces.

But surely this statement also applies to the disabled spaces. The entire car park would be private property and therefore managed and enforced by the supermarket. So not illegal to park in a disabled space in a supermarket carpark though you may receive a NPC, same as if you parked in a PC space......?

Livelovebehappy · 09/10/2022 00:11

Obviously if you were displaying a blue badge, then the woman should have backed off, as it was obvious you had a need to use the space. But if you weren’t displaying a badge, then you have to be prepared to be challenged. As far as the person challenging you is concerned, you’re just another person taking a place from a mother with a baby if you’re not displaying a blue badge.

ErrolTheDragon · 09/10/2022 00:15

Livelovebehappy · 09/10/2022 00:11

Obviously if you were displaying a blue badge, then the woman should have backed off, as it was obvious you had a need to use the space. But if you weren’t displaying a badge, then you have to be prepared to be challenged. As far as the person challenging you is concerned, you’re just another person taking a place from a mother with a baby if you’re not displaying a blue badge.

Did you read the opening words of the OP?^^ There's no 'if' about it.Confused
I have a blue badge (Multiple Sclerosis).

MotherOfPuffling · 09/10/2022 00:15

marvellousmaple · 08/10/2022 23:48

@PrincessButtercupToo has left her 5 story ( sic) London townhouse occasionally I note. Did she say she had twins? What is it with the twins.

Oh yes, that’s right, and she thinks pretty poorly of people receiving benefits as I recall!

Lentil63 · 09/10/2022 00:17

When I had my dad living me (for three years before he died) he used a wheelchair. He did like to go to Tesco with me, I think because that’s what he always did when he was more able. It was rare for me to find a disabled place so I often used a parent and child place because I simply couldn’t get him in and out without the extra room alongside for his wheelchair and he became a dead weight for me to lift. My disdain for people who park needlessly in disabled spaces is utter. Shame on you, you selfish, thoughtless, amoeba. 😡

Amybelle88 · 09/10/2022 00:19

They're arseholes you were not in the wrong whatsoever.

I often get looks in disabled spots because I'm 34 and healthy to the eye. Internally I suffer with chronic acute pancreatitis after beating pancreatic cancer. The looks I've had have been shocking but never actually had to deal with someone shouting yet.

Equally, I've parked in a disabled spot when a mother and child wasn't available, too. My little girl broke her wrist and her cast hadn't been completely set after her realignment surgery - they left it partial for a couple of days. No mother and child spot available in the hospital and I needed space to lift her out of the seat so parked in disabled. Got a ticket. Soon got revoked.

Lentil63 · 09/10/2022 00:21

Lentil63 · 09/10/2022 00:17

When I had my dad living me (for three years before he died) he used a wheelchair. He did like to go to Tesco with me, I think because that’s what he always did when he was more able. It was rare for me to find a disabled place so I often used a parent and child place because I simply couldn’t get him in and out without the extra room alongside for his wheelchair and he became a dead weight for me to lift. My disdain for people who park needlessly in disabled spaces is utter. Shame on you, you selfish, thoughtless, amoeba. 😡

The OP was not in the wrong at all, for clarity.

Waitingfordecember · 09/10/2022 00:21

You needed the space OP, you did nothing wrong. Would some of the previous posters rather you wet yourself?

I have a toddler and parent and child spaces are important (especially in car parks with stupidly small spaces that mean I can’t get my LO out without one), but I’m not selfish enough to think my need outweighs that of someone with a disability.

MarshaMelrose · 09/10/2022 00:23

P&C spaces are a courtesy because when building a car park you do not need to include them.

I see what you're saying but when people throw the words legal/illegal around it gives the impression that it's illegal to park in a disabled space without a blue badge, however P&C spots are a courtesy therefore there is no comeback if you park in the spot. Which is not true.

Anothermother3 · 09/10/2022 00:27

@MarshaMelrose you honestly think herding small children and toddlers/babies through parking lots and moving cars is a good idea to ‘tire them out’? Unless you have certain worrying tendencies can you not appreciate there may be reasons that isn’t ideal.
not to take away from the OP who definitely has priority as a disabled person.

Willyoujustbequiet · 09/10/2022 00:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

You're wrong.

As a parent and also a blue badge user through disabled dc, blue badge trumps parent n child spaces every. single. time.

Blue badge users are protected by law. You aren't.

CheezePleeze · 09/10/2022 00:36

It's been weeks since we've had one of these threads.

YANBU OP but can I ask if she really did 'literally start screaming'?

And also, why do you think that was? Was she drunk or mentally ill or something?

MarshaMelrose · 09/10/2022 00:38

Anothermother3 · 09/10/2022 00:27

@MarshaMelrose you honestly think herding small children and toddlers/babies through parking lots and moving cars is a good idea to ‘tire them out’? Unless you have certain worrying tendencies can you not appreciate there may be reasons that isn’t ideal.
not to take away from the OP who definitely has priority as a disabled person.

You honestly think herding small children and toddlers/babies through parking lots and moving cars is a good idea to ‘tire them out’?

Every supermarket car park I've been into, has paths which are protected by bollards that you walk down.
You have to get your small children and toddlers from a car space to the store doorway even if you're parked quite near. And usually across a car lane in front of the store. How do you do that now, then? You have them under some sort of control, don't you? Use the same method. Put them on reins. Or, get a trolley and put them on the front - not in it with their dirty shoes - and push them.
S/Ms should make wider spaces to open the car doors, but further to walk.

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