To get so pissed off with the sarcastic sods on here

[Herecomethesheep]

I don’t subscribe to the ‘sarcasm is the lowest form of wit’ view. But on here generally it isn’t funny, it’s either rude, unkind or more usually both.

So someones just started a perfectly harmless thread about a clothes shop and instead of replying ‘oh, did you know they have a petite range, I’ll link you’ we have You do know they have a petite range, right?

Its everywhere. Is it just me who is sick to death of the snark? I mean, sometimes there is help and support and just sometimes a nice chat on here but there’s always someone wanting to be an arse. And WHY don’t MN deal with it?

Agree with a pp who said it feels like there is an organised effort to spread dissent and start fights.

I've noticed that on threads where an opinion is requested, the first response within about a minute of the original post will always be downright shitty - patronising, belittling, not a response to the situation presented in the post but a personal attack on the poster. It struck me because my own reaction to a thread where I genuinely think how idiotic, is not to post on it, and I think that's a normal reaction.

Keep an eye out for it - once you notice it, you'll see how often it happens.

The problem is then that because of how forums work, the next response (which often feels more genuine) takes the first post as somehow setting the tone for the thread.

It's just on threads inviting general opinions - it's never on threads requiring a bit more knowledge, eg my baby is 14 months and drinks 9 bottles a night is this normal, or what's the best size dog bed for a great dane.

That's why it feels to me like a group is deliberately spreading dissent.

'Whats a MRA?'

Google it, @Bunnyfuller

I don’t subscribe to the ‘sarcasm is the lowest form of wit’ view.

At the risk of being accused of sarcasm, you do realise that Oscar Wilde's "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" quote means that sarcasm is mean and unkind ?

So you do subscribe to that view, right?

Difficult one.

I increasingly don’t post, or respond to a post, because I know that at any moment my response could be attacked

but

on the other hand I sometimes read posts and think ‘are people really this inept’ or ‘is this for real’ or even ‘so here we go, more attention seeking’

I wonder if the increased sarcasm isn’t just a response to changes in the way posters are using MN. I been here for ever and it is a very different forum to the early days.

These days I mostly lurk. I often have an immediate response to posts but have decided to keep my finger off the keyboard if I don't have something constructive to add.

Whats a MRA?

Men's rights activists. It's also a very clever (🙄) insult thrown at women who don't think the man is automatically the bad guy in every thread.

You were wrong to punch your DH in the face.
Oh look. The MRAs have arrived.

@Bunnyfuller

As a pp said, if the vibe isn’t for you, then probably MN isn’t for you

I agree with this. This is an interesting thread, but I don't really get why OP doesn't just stay off MN. It's like saying going down to the Red Lion and sitting in there complaining about how you don't like the rough crowd in there. Why not just go to the White Horse? It's not hard to find. Why put yourself through it if you don't like it?

I agree, but if anyone criticises a female celeb you get slated for "women tearing down a woman" but on here it seems to be acceptable. Just because they think they know something you don't, seems to make them feel superior.

There are definitely some real wankers on here basically lying in wait to give posters a kicking. For a certain kind of small minded and judgemental person it harks back to the psychology of primary school and allows them to act out some unfulfilled bullying fantasy. But I don’t think it’s got worse.

I have been on here for about 10 years and it’s not significantly worse than when I first joined. Threads vary hugely too. Some will be relatively kind and others are horrendous.

As much as the snark can be cruel though, it does fulfil a useful role in pointing out the gulf between how a poster perceives a situation and the way the rest of the world sees it. For example when a poster is obviously being led up the garden path by a useless bloke and needs someone to take the rose tinted spectacles off its bloody effective. You don’t want to police that out of MN because it does have an important function. I have learned a hell of a lot at the hands of blunt posters.

I also think generally the threads self regulate quite well. People tend to be quite good at pulling posters up if they are just being unkind for it’s own sake.

It really wasn’t better. It wasn’t unusual for a poster wanting advice as their partner was abusive to be asked why they allowed it or complaining of racism be told they were using the race card. Not to say this doesn’t happen now I think the language is less direct

I agree with pp who said the MN or some on here take themselves a little too seriously.
The comments along the lines of ‘oh hun if you can’t stand honesty MN isn’t for you pop over to Netmums that’s more your scene’ is such ridiculous playground nonsense it’s laughable 😆 we all know they are not being kind

I’ve had my arse handed to me for being a cunt and more than once. I’ve never name changed though, I’ve been pictish for as long as I’ve been here.
I am thoughtless and yes at times, full of myself. I assume that others don’t give a toss what I’ve got to say, beyond passing the time. Have found myself in a few altercations.

@IneffableGenderFairy 😂😂😂😂 Touché!

Yep they are big and clever behind a keyboard, probably couldn’t say boo to a goose in real life.

The thing I also dislike is when a poster takes out one tiny chuck of a sentence to hi light even though the rest of what you've written concedes points. It's just to make you look bad or in a certain light.

I'm just glad that this is an anonymous forum and I don't have people like this in my life. However I pity the people who do but they can do something about it if they wish but a lot of people on MN "hate confrontation".

Oh good, the weekly "everyone's so horrid" thread, with the entirely predictable "you wouldn't say that to my face".

So what?

Yeah, you missed the thread police whining about too many posts on the same theme. Wonder why.

It's the long term thread police on any forum who are the worst. A new poster might come along with a serious issue and if they don't give their full life story in the first post, people fall over themselves to be the first to scream about drip feeding, as though they own the rights to a correctly formatted OP.

It's important that posters keep reiterating that certain behaviour is unacceptable.

Drip feeding isn’t formulating thoughts, it’s adding massive, key info after original post that actually supports the OP’s position after a thread almost unanimously says ‘YABU’.

OP: AIBU -I want to go NC with MIL because she forgot my birthday.

MN - YABU X 100

OP - but she has never invited me to any family events, or said get well when I was in hospital and she’s stolen 20k off us…..

MN - 😑

What that means is they are cowards, and should not be viewed as people whose opinions can be taken seriously.

On drip feeding, I had some thoughts about this a while ago when I started watching a 'Behaviour Panel' video on You Tube. (They are body language and speech analysts who look for signs of deception in people being interviewed.)

One of them said something interesting. He talked about how, when someone controls the output of information in chunks, that can be a sign of deception. He talked about the interviewee/narrator 'is building their story - not the story, but their story'. It made me think of so many drip-feedy MN threads, where 'their' story is actually fabricated, and I no longer invest time in them.

The fabrications that include sock puppets bleating on about 'but what if the genders were reveresed..?' do my nut in.

I'd rather go and not be a dick to someone on General Health, Relationships or FWR.

Yes. I get tired of it,but I am also on Gransnet and there are some really nasty posters,but it’s the same ones repeatedly.

Oooh. Interesting. I've a had a look in a couple of times when Mumsnet was down (under DDOS attack from MRAs, so yes it is on their radar) and it didn't look very active. A few threads slagging off DiLs seemed a bit pathetic, so I went and read a book instead.

I have been on here for about 10 years and it’s not significantly worse than when I first joined.

Can’t remember how long I’ve been on here - a few years - but would say that the one thing that does seem to have become significantly worse over my time here is the sheer number of trolls. Which then affects the tone, as people start disbelieving absolutely everything and post accordingly.