To get so pissed off with the sarcastic sods on here

[Herecomethesheep]

I don’t subscribe to the ‘sarcasm is the lowest form of wit’ view. But on here generally it isn’t funny, it’s either rude, unkind or more usually both.

So someones just started a perfectly harmless thread about a clothes shop and instead of replying ‘oh, did you know they have a petite range, I’ll link you’ we have You do know they have a petite range, right?

Its everywhere. Is it just me who is sick to death of the snark? I mean, sometimes there is help and support and just sometimes a nice chat on here but there’s always someone wanting to be an arse. And WHY don’t MN deal with it?

You get some on every forum I’m afraid. Some people enjoy having a safe, anonymous, nasty little go, others like coming across as superior, cleverer, etc.
Best ignored if you can - or blocked.

I don't like it either. It happens all over the Internet, tbh. I think the best way is probably to ignore the post, and to chip in with with a constructive/kind post yourself.

Often the first responses to an OP are nasty. But further down the thread someone posts a sane and friendly response, and then the whole tone of responses changes. I always wonder if the 'first responders' are trolls, with nothing better to do than trawl and pounce.

Eugh yes. I made a spelling mistake in a post once (which I saw but could do nothing about as there's no edit button) in a thread about a holiday destination and was still mocked for it, even though it was obviously a mistake as I'd spelt the place correctly in the rest of the post 🤷🏻‍♀️

There was no advice attached to the mocking comment either. The poster had literally come to the thread just to make fun of me.

Agree with this. I don’t think there’s an organised group fanning out across Mumsnet intent on bringing the tone down or altering the course of replies. I’ve been posting here for over a decade and Mumsnet has always been this way; snarky responses are par for the course. The style changes as certain angles become more or less popular but the rudeness has always been here.

There is a certain liberty to be found in being able to express oneself honestly, even if it is rude, or wrong, or aggressive…and some take that to the nth degree. I have done so myself. Anonymity is a rare luxury that is difficult to resist. It’s not so much about hurting another but indulging oneself in the freedom to speak without fear of recrimination. The things we would say if we were not bound by social constraints not to. I also think posters’ posts depend largely on the mood of the poster at the time of posting.

Now I have to say, I’m a thick-skinned and laid back sort. I don’t care what Mumsnet thinks of me. I’ve rarely given any additional thought to an argument or an attack I’ve endured on here. In fact, if I’m being honest I rather enjoy sparring with an angry poster…it’s entertaining to me.

I’m not trying to be chippy when I say this…but if it saddens or angers you (and I understand why it would) then maybe Mumsnet isn’t the forum for you.

In other news, my pet peeve which I will call other posters out for, is when someone reads between the lines of a post, adds arms and legs to it, invents a scenario based on their imagination, then posts with astounding arrogance as if their wee fantasy were fact. They can fuck off.

I agree with the last paragraph @pictish

Like when someone posts that they are a bit fed up as their mate keeps letting them down and someone decides the friend is being abused by her husband.

Or when people post telling you what their life is like. No, that’s not what I’m asking. Arghh.

Mumsnet is not a place for the delicate “ladies”, the threads are pretty robust and there are a few “nutters” who are deliberately abusive, we are all anonymous and should take nothing personally

There are many useful opinions that really help those asking for help, ignore the abuse, if you can’t do that Gransnet has a much gentler style

I personally hate threads when the OP 'does not understand' eg, 'AIBU to not understand Christmas eve boxes' or 'AIBU to not understand the trend for grey decor' What's not to understand? What they really mean is 'I think it's ridiculous/common/lower class and look down on those who like them'.

It’s just another day on MN - just ignore and move on. You have no idea who’s on the other end - why get upset?

This - quite common on the Royal threads! Just ignore - never take anything seriously

Yep, I just can’t stand people who first of all deign to tell someone else what must be going on in their life based on their own imagination, and then have the audacity to rudely persist with it when they are asked not to or even told they are wrong.
I have said, “The OP disagrees with you and she would know.”, more than once.

While I’m having a whinge, any poster that says, “And you had a child with this man, why?” is also asking for a metaphorical punch to the face.

Yeah, you know what? Sarcasm is warranted here. Where and how depends on your own perspective and experience.

@INeverSawAPurpleCow I completely agree with you. Looking at the recent spate of 2007 zombie threads, the difference in tone is stark and jarring.

I don't really mind snark tbh and MN is so overrun with trolls I think it puts people off investing and giving advice on a thread that gets deleted.

I do find that if a poster has been too OTT snarky they mostly get pulled up on it though.

@pictish

Gets on my nerves as well.

Man goes off sex for a fortnight - inevitably at least one shout of 'he's gay'

Women never get asked the same thing funnily enough, but then neither do they get asked how much housework they do if their husband's libido tanks.

See also the threads where there's a minor, but relatively mundane relationship quibble and the screeds of 'cherchez la femme' and 'he's DEFINITELY cheating'.
So many people living vicariously who can't seem to grasp that just because it might have happened to them does not mean it absolutely must be the case in every other instance.

It really isn't much different to back then. It was a lot more cliquey in those days as well. If anyone went against the narrative they were crucified. I know people in real life that wouldn't use it because of it.

I agree OP. I started an innocuous thread about coverless duvets the other day and got all sorts of snarky responses including being accused of working for the company that makes them.

On the other hand, it makes it easier to identify who the cunts are so you know not to get worked up when you see their usernames. Even the ones who change their usernames (because they've previously had their asses handed to them for being cunts) are easy to spot.

I think there’s not much nuance generally. Women who have gone off sex (if not of menopausal age) are asexual. Everyone is an introvert or an extrovert: no one seems able to accept many people have a bit of both in their innate nature.

@pictish when I went back to work after maternity leave, I found myself doing everything and had a moan on here. I pointed out DH was in the house most or all of the day. One poster in particular gave me a daily rundown of her tasks to prove she was busy WFH. BUT YOU’RE NOT MY HUSBAND!

You do know that’s not sarcasm don’t you?

So many people living vicariously who can't seem to grasp that just because it might have happened to them does not mean it absolutely must be the case in every other instance

Yes, this is rife, and so peculiar. 'It happened to me, so I know what I'm talking about on the subject'. 'My man had an affair, so all men must be cheating swine'.

I find MN a very good way of talking to types of people I probably wouldn't come across or chat with in real life. I've often compared it to reading the politically opposite newspaper to the one you're used to. People are interesting; especially the ones we're very different to.

See, @bruffin, I don't think that's true. I've been here for about seventeen years, and - granted - there were cunts a-plenty, but they were real cunts.

It often reads now as if there's a handy spread-sheet been handed out, with all the most annoying, unhelpful, undermining responses listed.

Also, a rota.

<adjusts tin-foil hat>

The threads evolved. I’d personally call it sarcasm, but it doesn’t really matter either way. It’s unpleasant, is the point. Sarcasm isn’t always bad: it can be humorous and witty but ‘google is that way’ doesn’t fall into either category.

Yes, but sometimes the OP is a total arse and just asking to be ridiculed.

I doubt that many people are as sarcastic and nasty to people's faces as they are in SM and on here.

I like the cut and thrust tbh. I also think pointing out Google isn’t being a dick, it’s saying it’s as easy for you to Google as me.

Sometimes it goes OTT, but I find it quite refreshing compared to echo chambers where no one thinks differently or speaks the truth. As a pp said, if the vibe isn’t for you, then probably MN isn’t for you. It definitely used to be much more vicious, and terribly cliquey, the influx from NM has affected that somewhat.

Whats a MRA?