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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get so pissed off with the sarcastic sods on here

227 replies

Herecomethesheep · 08/10/2022 18:22

I don’t subscribe to the ‘sarcasm is the lowest form of wit’ view. But on here generally it isn’t funny, it’s either rude, unkind or more usually both.

So someones just started a perfectly harmless thread about a clothes shop and instead of replying ‘oh, did you know they have a petite range, I’ll link you’ we have You do know they have a petite range, right?

Its everywhere. Is it just me who is sick to death of the snark? I mean, sometimes there is help and support and just sometimes a nice chat on here but there’s always someone wanting to be an arse. And WHY don’t MN deal with it?

OP posts:
Newcatbrowntail · 09/10/2022 00:03

INeverSawAPurpleCow · 08/10/2022 18:31

This kind of thing has got a lot worse recently. I do think there's a concerted effort by a large and organised group of people to change the mood and tone on Mumsnet. I know this makes me sound like a complete conspiracy theory. Of course, ordinary Mumsnetters chip in too.

Think you’re spot on.

Pixiedust1234 · 09/10/2022 00:26

I agree with @INeverSawAPurpleCow after a couple of their posts you can almost taste the anger and hate.

I also agree that tone is very hard to get across. Sometimes I think I come across as a bit snippy because my sentences are shorter than most. This is bc it hurts to type. If you spoke to me you would know I waffle on , and then laugh at my own silliness for waffling Blush

Mangogogogo · 09/10/2022 00:37

IglesiasPiggl · 08/10/2022 18:43

I find it so unnecessary when someone starts a thread about something and somebody comes on with "what did the doctor say when you asked them?", or "what did the neighbour say when you spoke to them?. It's obvious the OP hasn't done that as they're asking for advice before taking action. Such a wanky response, it really gets my goat.

I totally agree with the way it’s said on here but I have stolen this to use at work and it is extremely effective.

my job is safeguarding and vulnerability, nothing to do with IT or PAYE

”my laptop doesn’t work”
”what did IT say when you told them?”

”i was underpaid this month”
”what did pay and pensions say when you contacted them?”

It’s been life changing

Leemoe · 09/10/2022 00:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DaisyChristina · 09/10/2022 01:07

I wish there were a 'block' option on MN for some of the relentlessly unpleasant people on here who seem to enjoy kicking people when they are down.

EndlessMagpies · 09/10/2022 01:08

Hawkins001 · 08/10/2022 19:37

Sometimes the op, can be misleading or be a puzzlement if they only give a small amount of information,

Show quote history

I started a thread like that a while ago under another name. I only gave a limited amount of information because it was partly concerning my teen dd's private medical issue (one that pervs might be interested in), and also because it wasn't completely necessary to have that information before answering the question. Naturally, a couple of people decided to interrogate me, and then declared I was being evasive. Then when I did give a bit more in the way of detail, I was told I was drip feeding. Sometimes you just can't win.

expat101 · 09/10/2022 01:08

I had someone make a snarky remark about my username mid thread a few weeks back, as if it proved some sort of point she ? Was trying to make. I thought if that is the best comeback you’ve got, you haven’t got much going for you at all..

just ignore them..

AuntTwacky · 09/10/2022 01:11

Well when you look at the shit that gets posted elsewhere on the internet MN is a walk in the park

Huntswomanonthemove · 09/10/2022 01:13

“Did you know he was like this, before you married him?” Well of course they didn’t know. Men like that keep their nasty controlling side hidden..

Redfrangipani · 09/10/2022 01:13

Servalan · 08/10/2022 18:33

I would be very surprised if some of the snarky things posted on here would be said out loud to anyone in real life as they would get called out as a bit of an arsehole.

Yes

Bluesparkled · 09/10/2022 01:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Feels a bit mean to be picking on SAHMs there tbh

SandyY2K · 09/10/2022 01:57

That's life. You have to expect a wide range of responses, including sacarsm on a public forum like this. I also wouldn't advocate every comment like that being deleted either.

JustLyra · 09/10/2022 02:05

ginslinger · 08/10/2022 18:45

I agree OP - there is a lot of nastiness on here at the moment, it's like a race to the bottom to disagree with the OP. There is also a huge amount of faux 'misunderstanding' -

The faux misunderstandings really get my goat. Especially on emotive threads when it’s blatantly obvious what they mean.

OP - My BF just beat me up. I’ve nowhere to go. We just brought a house and all my savings went into it.

Snarky fucker - I don’t understand, where did you bring your house?

Bloodybridget · 09/10/2022 02:22

HighlandPony · 08/10/2022 23:42

I’m Scottish. That’s how we communicate. You’d get exactly the same off me if you were sat in my sitting room. The problem is reading it. You don’t get quite the right nuance

What an odd thing to say! None of my Scottish friends and family members "communicate" like that; they're polite and unaggressive.

Ohhhhladz · 09/10/2022 02:41

So someones just started a perfectly harmless thread about a clothes shop and instead of replying ‘oh, did you know they have a petite range, I’ll link you’ we have You do know they have a petite range, right?

I'd use "did you know they have a petite range...?" and "you do know they have a petite range..?" almost interchangeably. I actually find the latter a little bit more polite - like "please disregard this if you already know..." (no comment needed).

If a poster goes to the trouble of posting the link, I'd think they meant to be helpful. And even if they did NOT mean to be helpful, if the OP or someone reading uses that link, then it WAS/IS helpful. Not everyone here is a native English speaker, and not every native English speaker has the same preconceptions as you do.

HRTQueen · 09/10/2022 02:48

But it’s YANBU

thats what it’s like ….

which is nonsense there is no need for the nastiness from some. Most manage to post in a respectful manner even if it gets heated but some are not after a heated discussion they just like to put others down

it’s not new on MN it’s always been this way if anything less cliquey. I once years ago got up in a heated discussion with an MN favourite out came her little army of sheep to berate me 😆🙄

spacexdragon · 09/10/2022 02:49

major karen behaviour 🚩 snarky for the sake of it.

spacexdragon · 09/10/2022 02:56

HighlandPony · 08/10/2022 23:42

I’m Scottish. That’s how we communicate. You’d get exactly the same off me if you were sat in my sitting room. The problem is reading it. You don’t get quite the right nuance

aye to your pals! not rando's on the internet 🤣

BeggyMitchell · 09/10/2022 03:02

YADNBU OP.

Over the years MN's grown tangibly snippier and as a result I'm here less and less.

'Tis a shame.

Justasec321 · 09/10/2022 03:09

I agree.

There is an effort being made.

Once you spot it you cannot unsee it - not unlike the other thing!

Justasec321 · 09/10/2022 03:12

Utter crud.

Good try though.....

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 09/10/2022 04:30

HighlandPony · 08/10/2022 23:42

I’m Scottish. That’s how we communicate. You’d get exactly the same off me if you were sat in my sitting room. The problem is reading it. You don’t get quite the right nuance

Concur with this entirely.

There are parts of Scotland where unless you develop a really thick skin, a keen sense for discerning the difference between people being acerbic in jest and being deliberately nasty, and learn to give it back every bit as good as you get and then some, you will be eaten alive and will never really be accepted as an equal by your peers. We use some of the most offensive and crude (as perceived elsewhere) swearwords as terms of endearment. While I'm sure it must be completely discombobulating to an outsider, it's 99% jovial and kind-spirited, but it's just how a lot of Scots develop a camaraderie, and if you are either incapable of, or unwilling to join in, then you won't really ever be seen as anything other than an acquaintance.

I also agree with the others saying Mumsnet is a walk in the park compared to other online spaces. It's moderated into oblivion by comparison to most, and it's sad that there's virtually no scope for having a good back and forth without posts inevitably being zapped because they've rubbed somebody up the wrong way. Good trolling is harmless, witty, funny, and amusing, and it adds hugely to any online space. Unfortunately what is considered 'trolling' and outright abuse have been conflated so much that at the first sign of anyone being at the wind-up, even if it is totally harmless and is witty, they get shot down in flames.

MN is virtually humourless and takes itself far too seriously, and that's a huge shame.

User686545677 · 09/10/2022 05:19

I got pissed off and made a snarky remark the other day. Someone posted one of those nub theory guesses in AIBU and I was in a bad mood and sick of seeing that board used for anyones random old shit so I replied on there pointing out it was in a stupid place. I was definitely being a bit of a dick for not just scrolling past and ignoring. I’m usually quite pleasant though 😅

DeadDonkey · 09/10/2022 06:35

i agree there are some awful responses on here, but having said that I did respond quite arse-isly to an OP yesterday (who turned out to be a troll) because I really couldn’t believe the question being asked from somebody who claimed to be a senior manager.

Lopilo · 09/10/2022 07:13

It is very often the first response that is really nasty, even on fairly bland threads. I think there must some quite odd people out there who try to jump in the with the first mean comment.

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