Why do women hate an OW?

[Oatmealbiscuits]

When a woman is seeing a married man, why do people say they wouldn't want her as a friend, in their lives anymore etc? Why are they judged solely on one thing when there may be so many other positives to their character.

I'm curious really, for the record I'm not an other woman, but my friend is. It's her business and I shall be there when the shit inevitably hits the fan.

If some posters on here had their way, she wouldn't have friends and would be isolated and lonely. I just don't think anyone deserves that when in reality it's the man who has taken vows.

Nobody cares about the swearing or difference of opinion. They care about the downright
abusiveness.

If the poster you were addressing were black and you had replaced every misogynistic slur in that post with a racist one, you'd have been kicked off the site at once, and rightly too.

God I know.

So mysoginistic.

So strongly against women.

You're right, hun, k?

@ReneBumsWombats some
people just don’t get irony unfortunately.

Maybe the simple answer to why some women judge the OW so harshly is simple. Misogyny.

Who said at any point the man who cheated isn't to blame? Most PPs have made it absolutely clear he's the biggest shit in this scenario. The question was not "why do women hate men who cheat", which is pretty much a given. The question was "why do women hate the OW?". It's been made clear that women hate the other women because they enable men (or women) to treat their partners like shit. They happily shag away without a though for the fact they are contributing to another person's misery and often damaging children in the process. It's not all on them but they're not innocent bystanders.

This, so much this!
I think there's also a fear there too.
When I became single, I got treated as a threat by some "friends" that thought I was after their middle aged, fat, balding husbands 🙄
Like fuck I want an affair with your Nigel love.

They don’t “enable men” to treat their partner badly though. That’s something the cheating men are solely responsible for and would do anyway.

But she didn’t use any racist slurs so it’s irrelevant.

Are you really trying to equate criticism of a chosen, deliberate, unpleasant behaviour with an attack on someone’s race?

‘When I became single, I got treated as a threat by some "friends" that thought I was after their middle aged, fat, balding husbands 🙄
Like fuck I want an affair with your Nigel love.’

hahahaha! I’ve had a bit of that because, despite being married, I work with/socialise with a lot of men - usually the insecure wife calms down a bit when she finds out that I’m a lesbian. And while I’m happy to go to watch footie with her Dave he’ll would freeze over before i’d find any bloke attractive…

They are literally enabling the men to cheat.
People can’t cheat if there’s no one to cheat with.

As is so often the case...

A line about the man. "He's the biggest shit in this scenario."

And then about three times as much about the OW. They "enable" the men. They "happily shag away without a thought for the fact they are contributing to another person's misery and often damaging children in the process." Man has conveniently disappeared.

There's always a quick lip service to the man and then load upon load of abuse against the OW. But because we had the quick "of course the man is to blame, there'll be a denial that there's any imbalance here.

And cheating men are laughing. This enables them.

‘They are literally enabling the men to cheat.
People can’t cheat if there’s no one to cheat with.’

IDK - there’s another thread going where the girlfriend feels cheated on because her bloke is watch live sex shows. He literally hasn’t got someone and is still managing to be a bit of a dick

When I became single, I got treated as a threat by some "friends" that thought I was after their middle aged, fat, balding husbands 🙄
Like fuck I want an affair with your Nigel love

😂😂😂😂😂😂
Look, this isn't the same. There are paranoid wives and women who are unfairly accused. That's wrong.

But it's not comparable to a woman who's done nothing and been cheated on, which you've done to someone.

Nigel though 😂😂😂 I agree nobody wants a Nigel 😂😂😂

Yip - as a single mum I know what you mean. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I am going to “steal” your husband! It’s especially sad when the dh is obviously such a sad sack but the wife is all territorial as if single women (but not usually married women for some reason) are after him. Emm no thanks- I do have standards. Also I’m happily single not desperate for a man thanks and especially not a cheater.

I'm equating misogynistic slurs with racial slurs. I don't expect most posters on this thread to get it. They're wedded (haha) to their misogyny.

It's hilarious isn't it?
The weird paranoia!

@Gotskeaswr @WhatsAVideo @ReneBumsWombats in your own words:

'There's no intelligent discussion with that level of dishonesty.'

Also, pp can talk about whatever they want to you know.

He could cheat with prostitutes. Or men.

Nobody has denied that people can talk about what they want to talk about, ffs.

However, I can choose not to engage with posters who lie and are abusive.

If you think my posts are too unintelligent to be worth your time, you are free to do the same.

Actually, that's not true. Amy was trying to say that dissenters shouldn't be allowed to speak against the majority. But she's the only one I can think of.

No, I wasn't.

I was saying that the argument of "everyone is calling out the OW and not the man/person cheating on their partner" which keeps getting bandied around is null and void, because not one person has said that.

I was merely making a statement, not telling people to stop talking.

If DH cheated on me it would be his fault - he would have betrayed our marriage vows and our relationship.

However, I wouldn't be friends with a person (male or female) who engaged in an affair or was an OW/OM because I wouldn't want to be around someone who knowingly contributed to someone else's pain for their own pleasure. Simple as that. Nothing to do with sex or gender and nothing to do with them 'betraying the wife etc.). I just don't want in my life people who don't consider painful consequences their actions would have on other people.

They allow men to shag them behind their partners back, how is that not enabling them?

Because honesty and self-respect are 2 things I value highly. If someone knowingly colludes with a married man to cheat his wife, colludes in lies and deception and is generally living in a dishonest way then they are unlikely to be someone I would want to be friends with. I also feel that any man who cheats on his wife his very little respect for women and that a women who knowingly puts up with it has little respect for themselves.

I don't hate but I'd feel our moral codes weren't compatible and I'd step away from the friendship.

Are you happy to be married to a man who's faithful only because he can't find a woman to say yes?