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AIBU?

If you were ever frumpy, how did you revamp yourself?

156 replies

EbbyEbs · 08/10/2022 16:12

I’m not one for nails and heels etc but I do want to look my age rather than looking 10 years older than I am.

What were your “game changers”?

vitamins? Skin care? Hair care … what product or habit changed how you look and feel for the better?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

92 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
11%
You are NOT being unreasonable
89%
Tinkity · 08/10/2022 16:18

No idea but following as I could do with the same advice!

ForFlipsSakes · 08/10/2022 16:18

Personally for me with my hair type (very frizzy), straightening my hair makes all the difference and helps me look put together. I can’t describe the difference even if I’m wearing plain clothes and no makeup.

I take vitamin D and iron which also helped my hair and complexion but deffo speak to a doctor first.

YumYummy · 08/10/2022 16:19

I did this when I was around 38 to 40. I invested in good skin care (Clinique), got a snazzy new hair cut and then booked in about 7 weeks to keep it looking good. I had some long overdue dental work done and then went to the dentist regularly.
I bought a fair amount of nice age appropriate clothes that suited my lifestyle and weren’t old, too big or too small.
My DC were close to secondary school age and I was suddenly aware I hadn’t made much of an effort for a long time and they were no longer toddlers.

halfsiesonapotnoodle · 08/10/2022 16:19

Properly colouring my roots. Looks just awful with grey coming through.

DJSteves · 08/10/2022 16:20

Botox. New glasses and a decent cut and colour.

TinyKittenPaw · 08/10/2022 16:23

Good hair cut.
shiny hair - straighteners (Remington- excellent results for the price even with fuzzy hair)
stud earring - small clear stone that can be left in and go with everything
concealer under eyes - collection 1000 cheap but the best concealer I own.
Navy suede look biker jacket (ONLY) to throw on over jeans

LaraLei · 08/10/2022 16:24

Lost weight

the80sweregreat · 08/10/2022 16:25

I've given up on it all!

AwfulTed · 08/10/2022 16:25

Walked tall! Short sharp haircut embracing my grey… follow certain advice like 3colours max, mix shades rather than patterns… buy good quality clothes if possible. Frumpy is a troublesome word but I certainly dressed a certain way in my 30s when the kids were small and then sort of woke up in my 40s! Oh and whitened my teeth so I could smile without my lips pressed together !!

YumYummy · 08/10/2022 16:28

shiny hair - straighteners (Remington- excellent
I forgot to include buying some straighteners in my list.

Mybestyear · 08/10/2022 16:29

Hair cut that actually suited my hair and face/frame rather than what I “wanted”. Ditto clothes. I also stopped wearing eyeliner which I thought I 100% looked hideous without then my daughter pinched it so one day I could only wear mascara and a touch of eye shadow and I looked so much better.

Catonamountain · 08/10/2022 16:30

I'm trying to drop the foundation as know its ageing

SheWoreYellow · 08/10/2022 16:30

Blow dried hair, a little makeup and jewellery, up to date jeans style, shoes and tops in the right length. (Shorter right now.)

RIPWalter · 08/10/2022 16:31

I'm not sure it is simply "frump", most people put my age at mid 30s, when I'm 41 and I definitly need to make more effort and feel frumpy. I just struggle to find the time to make an effort to control my frizz, so stick it in a pony tail. I weigh 2 stone more than pre DD (4) and am hovering around the overweight/obese threshold. I'm nowhere near as fit as I used to be or want to be. I eat way to much sugar.

Things I do do, wear SPF moisturiser everyday (probably should have started a decade or two before I did though!!), moisturise every night, take a good selction of vitamins (Womens multi vit, high dose Vit D, Omega 3), lots of fresh air (I have a dog), good protein intake.

ghostyslovesheets · 08/10/2022 16:31

My kids got older!
I had time to work out and get sleep!
I don't wear make up but a good skin care regime helps (mines not costly - just cleans tone and moisturise - I use older skill stuff).
Good haircut and colour - the one thing I do spend money one
If I do wear make up on nights out - it's a decent primer, tinted moisturiser, cream blush, glossy lip and no concealer - it sits in the lines!
Clean, ironed clothes that fit

that's it really - I'm 52 and look okay

Garysmum · 08/10/2022 16:31

Lost half my body weight. People treated me better, gained confidence looked half my age.
however but weight back on (half of it) now look like frump again.

liIi · 08/10/2022 16:31

Weight loss, cosmetic dental work and a fresh modern haircut and surprisingly, less make up. I look more current and fresh with less but more strategically applied make up... loads of useful videos on YouTube.

I used to go heavy on the black eyeliner on top and bottom lines, lived in baggy clothes which are no good if you are a very curvy hourglass as the waist is lost and had 4 inches of split ends (joys of long term depression). I don't have many greys yet but I ditched the harsh jet black dyes (goth at heart) to dark brown. More natural look suits me better and less aging.

Always take Spatone, multi vitamin, D3 and K2, calcium, hair skin and nail and then sometimes milk thistle, turmeric, magnesium depending on how I'm feeling. Diet is keto and I work out at home. I swear the days I use guasha and that Y shaped face roller from body shop my face looks a lot more sculpted and skin tighter.

You have to be honest with yourself and look at what you need to do, somethings are free just need commitment and a routine somethings need money but don't be discouraged if it seems expensive, even starting a small savings pot helps you feel you are getting some way towards it.

Lastly, I try and not compare myself. I used to feel envious when I saw a woman with a better body. It doesn't register as much now because I'm more focused on myself. It's the only body I will ever have, might as well make the most of it and enjoy it.... and everyone has their own insecurities and worries nobody is perfect even if they SEEM so.

monkeyupsidedown · 08/10/2022 16:33

Garysmum · 08/10/2022 16:31

Lost half my body weight. People treated me better, gained confidence looked half my age.
however but weight back on (half of it) now look like frump again.

I'm trying to lose weight now, I've lost about 4 stone but it looks like my skin is getting a bit loose. May I ask if you have loose skin or if you did anything to combat it other than exercise? (I already exercise lots).

Pugdogmom · 08/10/2022 16:34

A decent haircut, and making sure roots are done. I follow fashion stylists on Instagram, such as club.40.clare. I don't like everything she wears but gives ideas

RIPWalter · 08/10/2022 16:35

monkeyupsidedown · 08/10/2022 16:33

I'm trying to lose weight now, I've lost about 4 stone but it looks like my skin is getting a bit loose. May I ask if you have loose skin or if you did anything to combat it other than exercise? (I already exercise lots).

This is my concern. I think the chub acts like filler in my face helping me look younger. I hate my body and fitness (or lack of) though.

yerdaindicatesonbends · 08/10/2022 16:35

Whenever I stop doing my skin routine so religiously I can tell and after a few weeks of being consistent I’m a bit more pleased with how I look. That includes facial massage and lots of water too.

Experiment with your style too. There’s this weird thing with people around my age, mid 30’s where it’s very split. Some friends play the whole ‘I’m old card’ and don’t really give any consideration to their clothes, and others haven’t suddenly stopped being interested in style and fashion and I would say look considerably younger. Not because they’re dressing young as such but still expressing themselves in that way.

Experiment with hair and make up too. Once again, there seems to be an age where people go ‘well that’s me now’ and it’s refreshing to see otherwise.

Furrydogmum · 08/10/2022 16:35

Well done @Garysmum if you've done it once, I'm sure you can do it again! I can't imagine how much better it would feel even to lose a quarter. How was your skin after the weight loss?

Garysmum · 08/10/2022 16:40

Furrydogmum · 08/10/2022 16:35

Well done @Garysmum if you've done it once, I'm sure you can do it again! I can't imagine how much better it would feel even to lose a quarter. How was your skin after the weight loss?

never had any saggy skin at all. I lost the weight over 4-5 years and I assume that’s why.

Sling · 08/10/2022 16:40

I hate the word frumpy but I definitely lost my way when I was in the young kids/working mum to young kids stage. Lack of sleep, stress and imposter syndrome played big parts.
Yes to basic but good skin care, and a good hair cut that suits my hair type and face, more ash less honey blonde.
But my real game changer was only wearing clothes I loved versus what I thought I should wear or even worse those which were kinda just 'ok'. I spent a lot less money overall but more on certain items, I got incredibly fussy about not buying for the sake of it but because I loved it - and crucially I could name 3/4 outfits it would go with. I know everything I put on I love and suits me. It's makes me so much more confident in what I wear.

ghostyslovesheets · 08/10/2022 16:42

I agree with the weight loss issues - I've lost over 2 stone for no reason (still having tests etc) and it does make my face look a big sunken - a bit of plum in the face is nice!

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