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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you were ever frumpy, how did you revamp yourself?

156 replies

EbbyEbs · 08/10/2022 16:12

I’m not one for nails and heels etc but I do want to look my age rather than looking 10 years older than I am.

What were your “game changers”?

vitamins? Skin care? Hair care … what product or habit changed how you look and feel for the better?

OP posts:
Mybackteeth · 08/10/2022 21:19

StressedToTheMaxxx · 08/10/2022 19:25

Can I ask - what do you do at the gym? And do you find 3 times a week is enough? I've signed up but can only manage 2 or 3 times a week max, not sure how much benefit I'll get from that.

@StressedToTheMaxxx
I do spin classes! Absolutely love it

LeoEisor · 08/10/2022 21:21

RIPQueen · 08/10/2022 19:22

Also every 6-12 months using crest teeth whitening strips for 10 days

Where do you buy yours from? Struggle to find reliable sites

StressedToTheMaxxx · 08/10/2022 21:25

Mybackteeth · 08/10/2022 21:19

@StressedToTheMaxxx
I do spin classes! Absolutely love it

Oh I love spin! Feels like you've got a great workout in only 30/45 mins. Well, I suppose you have! I forgot how much I actually enjoyed these, I'm going to book in for one on Monday!

LittleHeartToo · 08/10/2022 21:56

Maybe try and identify what is it that makes you look frumpy..?
A while ago i realised that whilst my hair colour is Ok (im 41), my side parting made me look dated. I put parting in the middle and cut my long hair to a bob. A big difference.

I try follow whats 'in' fashion wise a little bit as well. I used to love skinny jeans and leggings for example, but have swapped them for simple straight cut jeans. In fact, the older i get, the plainer i dress. I wear nice clean cut jumpers and jeans most of the time. No earrings or chunky necklaces. Minimal make up.. i think loosing weight is also a great trick to start looking fresher if you carry some extra on you. Id like to, but im not doing much about that yet..

Meili04 · 08/10/2022 21:58

Vitamins and Skin care first of all when you have glowing skin everything else follows.

coronafiona · 08/10/2022 22:02

I threw away all my joules striped tops and swapped for leopard print instead xx stopped wearing skinny jeans and bought boyfriend jeans. Basicallly accepted that I needed to spend a bit of money on myself and 'middle class mum' was not what I wanted to look like

Goinglala22 · 08/10/2022 22:17

Same OP 😒 following for ideas

Applesticky22 · 08/10/2022 22:19

New make up, haircut n colour, new wardrobe.

VladmirsPoutine · 08/10/2022 22:31

Skincare routine, a hair style that suits, clothes that fit your shape and generally taking looking after your body seriously be it exercise, healthy eating. A lot of the self care stuff is quite trite but there are parts which do work wonders for not only physical appearance but mental health.

StClare101 · 08/10/2022 22:38

Hair straighteners to get rid of frizz, regular foils, teeth whitening, using a tinted moisturiser rather than foundation.

ZooTropia · 08/10/2022 22:52

Catonamountain · 08/10/2022 16:30

I'm trying to drop the foundation as know its ageing

But how can you drop the foundation?? I need to wear some sort of foundation!!

What do you suggest?

ehb102 · 08/10/2022 22:57

I had my colours done with House of Colour nd got their make up too.

I made an effort for a while but I can't be bothered mostly. I do when there will be cameras around or if I need confidence. Not often though. Basics.csrry me through - regular colour and cut, brow shape, clothes that suit.

ZooTropia · 08/10/2022 23:06

Doe anyone think collagen is worth a trial

User061022 · 08/10/2022 23:13

I look better now in my early 30s than I ever did in my 20s.

I lost some weight, and generally started a healthier lifestyle. Eat healthy, exercise regularly, plenty of water. It makes your body look good, makes your skin look good, and puts you in a good mental space so you feel more confident.

Make up, nails etc are great. But if you start getting your insides looking good, the rest will fall into place.

BrightBlueFlamingo · 08/10/2022 23:21

Drink loads of water. Also amazing sex everyday helps, total game changer😉

DickDarstedly · 08/10/2022 23:27

@LazyJayne

You asked what skincare I used.

Of course it depends on your skin type but I think most people benefit from vitamin c skin cream and retinol. In the morning I wash with cerave cleanser and then apply rose hip seed oil mixed with vitamin c cream (The Ordinary) In the evening I wash my face with cerave and apply retinoids in squalane (The Ordinary). It’s a simple routine but it really has made a huge difference to my skin. I rate The Ordinary because the products work but they are also cheap! But I am fairly sure Boots have similar products and also Inkey List, all affordable.

I use a guo sha (spelling?) rose quartz massage tool when I apply the oil in the morning and I also take collagen supplements.

Upwiththelark76 · 08/10/2022 23:34

But classic well cut clothes even if second hand off eBay . Avoid cheap clothes that hang like sacks

Oddbobbyboo · 08/10/2022 23:49

I addressed my hair and clothes, then my weight x I joined SlimmingWorld x the weight has been slow coming off but I’ve decided to be a snail rather than a hare x pound a week down is better than staying static or gaining x

figtrees · 08/10/2022 23:50

If you want glowing skin retinol is where its at. I use tretinoin which is prescription in the UK. It is a game changer.

The ordinary are very cheap. Don't buy 100s of products that you don't know what they do. A few I suggest.

Argireline. Acts like botox but milder. Amazing fore forehead lines and dynamic wrinkles (ones you get from making faces, laughing, movement). Effects aren't permanent but it works a treat.

Peptides. I like the matrixyl. Help repair skin and build collagen and elastin. They won't snap back sagging skin but it will firm it up and help slow aging.

Lactic acid. It's a really mild exfoliant. It will leave your skin bright and glowing. I absolutely love this stuff.

Use a good moisturiser that isn't greasy or heavy every single day morning and night.

Ditch any scrubs that are rough or gritty, they aren't good for your skin and they don't correctly unblock pores. They can cause your skin to produce more oil to compensate too.

Wear sunscreen every single day even in winter.

When it comes to make up less is more but you don't need to ditch foundation.

Drop from full coverage to a lighter coverage foundation. Do not bake or add crud loads of powder it will look awful. If you are getting under eye creasing either don't apply to this area, or apply much more conservatively.

Use a hydrating primer. I use too faced hang over primer. If your skin is dry it will try to absorb moisture from the foundation, leaving you with a patchy, dry, cakey finish.
I like dior backstage foundation.

Bb creams work really well if you want a subtle glow and not the full face of make up look. They often come in limited shades though.

I find a sweep of blush stops me looking like a corpse (I'm extremely fair skinned). You dont need to apply a lot. It also helps if you don't apply it only to your cheeks, a very subtle bit if colour on the tip of the nose, from the cheek up to the temple helps it blend better. I even dust over my forehead a little. Don't go crazy with it though. If I don't have time for full make up blush and ight foundation might be all I wear. You can add a touch to eyelids too. Make sure the tone suits your skin.

For lips, dior lipglow is my holy grail product. Its more subtle than lipstick anx always looks incredible. For a cheaper alternative the burts bees tinted lip balms are really nice for every day especially at thus time of year.

For hair, I think grey roots look worse than grey hair! If you're going to dye, make sure you can keep on top of it, if not go natural.

I recently lost 12kg and I look bloody great for it. I'm in my 30s and have a better body than I did in my early 20s. I recently got gym fit and now have a 6 pack and thigh muscles. It is worth the effort! Unfortunately it doesn't happen quickly so you need to do a lot of dieting, exercising and waiting to see any result at all. No instant gratification here. If you want to make changes but a full diet is too much, I started out by cutting back drinking from several times a week to 1 once a month if that and I lost a lot from this alone. Ditch take away and cut back on a few treats and you will be surprised.

I do yoga for about an hour a day. I started at 10 minutes. You don't need to join a gym or pay any money there are tons of videos on YouTube you can watch. My balance has improved so so much and i feel so much stronger physically and mentally. When I'm stressed it acts as a really good outlet too. Remember that if you gain muscle you will only be able to sew it if you get your body fat below a certain percentage.

With clothing, there's an art to looking put together, but it's 99 percent accessories. I actually find I look best when I own less clothes, things tend to get rotated in and out more and I have a better mental grasp on what I like to wear with what instead of just whatever is clean. Start swapping out old t-shirts and things that you feel frumpy in for comfortable but beautiful tops and jumpers. Don't torture yourself with clothes that look nice but you can't wait to take off, you will inevitably go back to that nasty old t-shirt if your new clothes feel constrictive.

The same goes for shoes. Don't buy anything you can't walk in. You won't look glamorous if you can't wear it. Sophisticated boots at this time of year work great.

Try to get in a routine with skincare and exercise. Make it a ritual before bed, in the morning. Start with just 1 or 2 things and then when you do it automatically you can add on to your routine and build on it.

Smelling nice is like the icing on the cake. not just clean but really yummy. If you have that one friend who smells good all day but not perfumey then you know what I mean. The answer is body lotion. I used to love the champneys summer dream body lotion but its been discontinued. Search around til you find one you like.

Start small and see where it goes. I couldn't imagine being in such good shape during lockdown when I was gaining weight and drinking too much and I bought a catsuit yesterday which I look incredible in. So you may surprise yourself if you stick at it.

RIPQueen · 09/10/2022 06:09

LeoEisor · 08/10/2022 21:21

Where do you buy yours from? Struggle to find reliable sites

UK teeth whitening is the same of the site I use

www.ukteethwhitening.com/product/crest-professional-effects-3d-luxe-whitening-strips/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI_viunbDS-gIVTOvtCh1bVQoYEAQYASABEgLeFvD_BwE

Windtunnel · 09/10/2022 07:08

Im often told i look younger than I am (early 50s). I:

  • make myself a smoothie every morning (bit of frozen fruit, dark gren veg, nuts seeds powders etc
  • 15 min of yoga and a fast walk daily, meditation too.
-.Hair oiled the night before a wash. Home dyed.
  • Pearl drops toothpaste.
  • watch the weight
  • youngish clothes, tf for trainers
Honestly a builder actually wolf whistled me the other day yeah I know but still....
Nightmanagerfan · 09/10/2022 07:11

Cheap clothes are awful these days - polyester, poorly cut and don’t last.
I recently lost my way after hitting 40, two under 3 and lockdown/working at home. I did the John Lewis personal stylist appointment and it was so helpful in finding out what worked for my body/lifestyle now. I’ve also started dying my hair and some of the colours I wore Before don’t work with my new hair colour - eg black makes me look washed out. I now have a capsule wardrobe and get my hair done every 10 weeks.

i haven’t cracked skincare or supplements, and there’s some useful info on this thread so thank you.

typing on my phone in charge of small child so excuse the typos

georgarina · 09/10/2022 07:41

Haircut and highlights every six months
Deep conditioning treatment once a week
Botox in forehead/crows feet every six months
Lower sugar diet
Concealer and mascara for basic school run days
Basic easy clothes that look nice - trench coat, fitted top, jeans (or else long top and leggings), knee length flat boots

Hair products - Kerastase shampoo and conditioner, Philip Kingsley Elasticiser conditioning treatment, Aveda hair serum

Face products - daily suncream, prescription strength tretinoin, Cosrx snail serum moisturiser

EbbyEbs · 09/10/2022 08:30

Thanks everyone. I’m not overweight but I do have a shit diet. I have no appetite and basically just eat cereal during the day until dinner. Then on a night I binge on chocolate. I’m the lower end of healthy BMI.

Im anaemic but always forget to take my iron tablets. I’m making more effort with that now and might get myself some spatone to boost it up a bit?

I also need to re measure my bra size as I’m wearing a granny bra with no support.

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/10/2022 10:56

EbbyEbs · 09/10/2022 08:30

Thanks everyone. I’m not overweight but I do have a shit diet. I have no appetite and basically just eat cereal during the day until dinner. Then on a night I binge on chocolate. I’m the lower end of healthy BMI.

Im anaemic but always forget to take my iron tablets. I’m making more effort with that now and might get myself some spatone to boost it up a bit?

I also need to re measure my bra size as I’m wearing a granny bra with no support.

None of the things people are suggesting are going to do much if you're undereating and mainly living on refined sugar to provide calories. You need to improve your nutrition first and foremost - those that are saying they lost weight have improved their nutrition, those who exercise have to feed their bodies to be able to see improvements, those sorting out their hair and skin are doing it from a point where they aren't failing to provide the vitamins, minerals, essential fats and proteins it needs through nutrition.

Fortified cereal is better than having some more sweets for other meals, but it's still not 'enough'. Especially when you're already anaemic but not taking supplements you already know you need.

Do you know why your appetite is low? Is it more that you don't have the energy to prepare more nutritious meals? Do you have other medical conditions that could be affecting this or the absorption of nutrients from what food you do have? Are you going through a particularly difficult and stressful time and focusing upon how to 'cover it up' rather than take care of yourself?

None of the cosmetic things can change how you appear if you're weak and poorly nourished.