DH binned the clothes for the refuges. AIBU?

[CakeyCake5]

I sorted through my children’s clothes and had some lovely clothes in good condition that no longer fit. I know there are a local family of refuges that would benefit from them so I made some enquiries and I was told someone would collect them from me soon. Anyway, time passed and they hadn’t got back to me so I reached out again and was told the lady supporting this family had a death in the family. If I keep the clothes, they would get in touch in future. I knew these clothes would be too big for the children and personally didn’t mind storing for as long as they need.

Anyway, DH point blank refused for me to keep this bag of clothes in the garage. His argument is that I hoard stuff in there. I really wouldn’t mind if this was true, but I really don’t. There’s probably one bag of kids clothes in there that are for my other child to grow into. I have also kept some baby equipment, but we haven’t completely ruled out having another child.

So the bag was in the corner of our bedroom. Not ideal. DH kept moaning about the bag asking me to chase up the lady. I refused and explained I have told her I’ll keep the bag for now. He wouldn’t stop moaning about it and in frustration, I said something along the lines of “DH, I’ve told someone I’ll keep this for them. I want to keep it in the garage but you’re being so difficult about it. If you’re seriously going to keep behaving like this then you might as well bin it.” And I walked off. The bag later disappeared and I assumed he had come to his senses and popped it in the garage. Today, I found out that he has in fact binned all the clothes. I’m furious! I know I said it in frustration so it’s maybe unreasonable of me to be annoyed, but he has been so annoying about this whole situation. Who is he to tell me we can’t keep this one bag of clothes when we do have the space to. Don’t get me wrong, our garage is fairly full, but just average in terms of how you’d expect a garage to look.

Im really upset because these were really good quality clothes. What an absolute waste! 😢

And that is a million miles away from what he has done so please don't compare yourself to him!

@musingsinmidlife it’s got gardening equipment, sports equipment, suitcases, camping stuff, tools etc. It has one bag of clothes and a flat packed cot and a pram. It has space though, and there was more than enough room for that bag of clothes.

What a horrible thing to do.

I'd be binning DH is he did this to me

He sounds like he has a mental health problem if he gets that upset about having a bag of clothes in the house/garage. Very controlling

Why are people going on about the circumstances around holding the donation etc? You’re missing the point.

OP was fine with the circumstances so its irrelevant, the issue is her husband being a dick. YANBU OP, your husband is a wasteful dick, at the very least he should have discussed the options of donating elsewhere if there was a space issue, but from what tou say, there isn’t. He’s a knob.

Chuck his sports equipment in the bin

You cam totally tell the clean freaks on this post.

Coming out in a cold sweat at the thought of a bag of clothes

🤣

Hopefully they would donate and not bin perfectly good clothes though.

Thats ridiculous of your DH. Sounds controlling and wanting to kind of punish you.

I also hate clutter lying around and tbh if it had been a few weeks from you'd offered them I probably would have just taken them to a charity shop before now especially since he's been really clear with you how much them sitting around was bothering him. You could even have dropped them off to the charity head office. So I kind of think it's a bit unreasonable. I wouldn't have binned them though- whyd he not leave them in the clothes bank or something.

Why do those who would not like the clothes lying about think they have more right to get their way than the op have her way?

I'm getting annoyed reading this.

There are several places that would have been glad of those clothes, apart from charity shops.

The Health Visitors at the local clinic here collect them for needy families.

The local church here collects them for their mother-and-baby a/noon, in case anyone needs some.

You could have sorted this, OP, with a couple of 'phone calls - it's not rocket science 🙄

If you’re seriously going to keep behaving like this then you might as well bin it.” And I walked off.
You told him to bin it. So he did.
You sound like my DH, drives me mad hoarding shit that he "might need sometime" or "it's not doing any harm there, just leave it" then it is left there for ages when it could just be put away, or thrown.
Drives me mad.
YABU
How long are you expected to hold on to stuff, I appreciate the circumstances but they can't expect you to hold onto it indefinitely?!

Read OP'S posts. It's full of her DH's crap. Which is conveniently overlooked by all the posters accusing her of hoarding and excusing the H's actions by his being anti-clutter. Massively projecting, and overlooking the red flags in this marriage. (Also, are there truly this many people around who are totally unable to get sarcasm? She didn't "tell him" to bin the clothes.)

He was adamant that the clothes could not go in the garage

Does he think he's king of the castle?

Your DH is an utter dick. Complete waste of perfectly good clothes and who the fuck made him the boss of the garage, and you. Are you sure you want another child with him?

Life is too short to be haunted by bags of random stuff around the house that are going to be of use to someone else at some unknown time! There are a gazillion people giving children's clothes to refugees, charity shops and people they know, and of course it is always best to reuse, but your bag could have easily ended up in a bin anyway, because there are just too many childrens clothes.
Maybe only use second hand for a while to balance it out.

Tbh I see his point. I hate stuff hanging around. I would have binned them too. Also I would stop giving money to random people.

And you can spot the messy people who don’t care about the state of the house they live in or how it makes their partner feel…

"He was adamant that the clothes could not go in the garage*
Fuck that though 😁
They'd have gone in there. If he'd have said no there's not enough room, I'd have flung one of his sports bags you say he has out of the window to ake room! 😁
I

make

For goodness sake, give them to a charity shop and move on

@FloydPepper

I nag of clothed you want to donate isn't a mess.

Why do the clean freaks feelings take precedence?

I hate mess and untidiness so I'm with your husband on this. You could have taken them to another charity. Sorry YABU

@CakeyCake5 why didn’t you just put the bag in the bottom of a wardrobe temporarily or something?

why didn’t you just put the bag in the bottom of a wardrobe temporarily or something?

I did do that. DH didn’t want it in there either so took it back out.

No one can use the clothes - he's thrown them away.