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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have banged on her car?

117 replies

Lauren1983 · 07/10/2022 20:08

There is a car that I see daily on the school run that parks illegally and selfishly (on double yellows, on a corner, blocking a dropped kerb and half on the pavement. I have considered leaving a note or speaking to the woman who does it but decided they are so selfish and entitled it would make no difference.

Today they had parked the same so I was a bit pissed off with them but just went to get my child from school. On our way home this car came down the road we were waiting to cross and I noticed the woman was holding her mobile phone in one hand and driving with the other.

I saw red and started shouting at her to put down her phone. She just looked straight ahead so I went around the back of her car and banged on the boot twice. I then came around and again shouted at her to put the phone down. She again ignored me and drove off.

Wibu to bang her car? I didn't want to cause any damage (I'm pretty certain I didn't) but I did want to shock her. She had her kids in the car so now thinking I might have gone too far. To be clear she wasn't talking on the phone or texting but just kind of scrolling.

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 07/10/2022 20:10

Yanbu but I find people like that with their heads up their asses would think you're the one with the problem

BattenburgDonkey · 07/10/2022 20:12

Banging on her car in a very confrontational way while you had a child with you, and were children in her car is too far in my opinion. I can’t see how it achieves anything

VanillaImpulse · 07/10/2022 20:12

I would contact the school and see if they can put something in the newsletter about bad parking (even better if they could add a photo of it shaming her)

GoodVibesHere · 07/10/2022 20:16

I don't think you did anything wrong at all. She is the one in the wrong, it's poor driving and deserves to be picked up on. I would do what you did. However, I get what you're saying and I know that I would be like you and be wondering if I had overdone it Blush. I'd be all tied up in knots.

Doveyouknow · 07/10/2022 20:18

Unfortunately I doubt it will make any difference. I was nearly knocked over by a driver texting on his phone with both hands. He drove straight through a red light without looking up from his phone. I shouted at him but I am not sure he noticed let alone took on board that you are generally supposed to look at the road while driving.

Doveyouknow · 07/10/2022 20:18

Unfortunately I doubt it will make any difference. I was nearly knocked over by a driver texting on his phone with both hands. He drove straight through a red light without looking up from his phone. I shouted at him but I am not sure he noticed let alone took on board that you are generally supposed to look at the road while driving.

Raquelos · 07/10/2022 20:20

What a weird thing to get so invested in that you would respond so aggressively. YABU to behave like that and set such a horrible example for your child.

Original poster
Lauren1983 · 07/10/2022 20:21

BattenburgDonkey · 07/10/2022 20:12

Banging on her car in a very confrontational way while you had a child with you, and were children in her car is too far in my opinion. I can’t see how it achieves anything

Yes that is what I'm thinking now but at the time I was just angry. The road is very near the school and the road she turned onto while holding her phone is the main road outside the school and is used by scores of kids so there was a danger she could have hit someone.

I do think I wouldn't have reacted quite so much if I wasn't already pissed at her selfish parking so that is what is making me second guess myself.

OP posts:
GrumpyPanda · 07/10/2022 20:22

Why not report to police instead? Seems like a more constructive step.

Revolvingwhore · 07/10/2022 20:22

You're lucky not to get dropped to be honest.

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 07/10/2022 20:22

You could have taken photos & reported here to the police. Much more use.

why hit the car? The car isn't parking dangerously or using the phone!! I'd have taken photos, then knocked on her drivers window indicating to wind it down, then I'd have had a right go at her!

stupid bitch needs telling, but her car doesn't need hitting.

reigatecastle · 07/10/2022 20:24

Raquelos · 07/10/2022 20:20

What a weird thing to get so invested in that you would respond so aggressively. YABU to behave like that and set such a horrible example for your child.

Ignore this silly comment OP.

The only thing about banging on the car is that you might have hurt yourself!

reigatecastle · 07/10/2022 20:26

GrumpyPanda · 07/10/2022 20:22

Why not report to police instead? Seems like a more constructive step.

The police do it themselves so they won't care. They frequently drive dangerously and illegally in my area, parking on pavements, blocking side roads etc. I don't see them with mobile phones but I guess they are too aware of the bad publicity that would ensue from being caught.

HappyHamsters · 07/10/2022 20:27

Report it to the police

Original poster
Lauren1983 · 07/10/2022 20:27

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 07/10/2022 20:22

You could have taken photos & reported here to the police. Much more use.

why hit the car? The car isn't parking dangerously or using the phone!! I'd have taken photos, then knocked on her drivers window indicating to wind it down, then I'd have had a right go at her!

stupid bitch needs telling, but her car doesn't need hitting.

Yes I don't know why I hit the car. It was just a reaction as she had ignored me shouting at her. If she had put the phone down I would have said thank you and left it. I guess I had a real worry she could have hit someone and wanted her to stop being so reckless.

I managed to almost catch up with her after she had driven off and I think she had put her phone down. She might have done it anything as she was driving towards a busy roundabout and can't see she would have still been on it then.

I think if I see her on Monday I will apologise.

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 07/10/2022 20:28

Good for you OP. If you drive like an arsehole then it’s likely that one of those days someone will take you to task. If she’s worried that her children might be upset by this then she can stop driving like an a-hole and her worries will float away.

BeanStew22 · 07/10/2022 20:30

I think if I see her on Monday I will apologise

I really don’t think you should apologise! She is v much in the wrong re both the mobile phone (what if she’d driven into a child!) & the illegal parking: you have probably made her think

PauliesWalnuts · 07/10/2022 20:30

If I pull up next to a driver who is texting or on the phone at a set of lights when I’m cycling to work I do bang on the side window and tell them to put their phone down. I want to get to work in one piece thanks. Most are pretty shame faced although one bloke denied it when he was actually on the phone, and one woman flicked me the v’s when she had the steering wheel in one hand and her phone to her ear with the other - I still haven’t quite worked out how she managed to do that.

BeanStew22 · 07/10/2022 20:31

SirChenjins · 07/10/2022 20:28

Good for you OP. If you drive like an arsehole then it’s likely that one of those days someone will take you to task. If she’s worried that her children might be upset by this then she can stop driving like an a-hole and her worries will float away.

^ this. Ok maybe it’s not your usual style to bang in a car but you were not wrong to be angered by her bad driving endangering your kids & others

thedancingbear · 07/10/2022 20:32

GrumpyPanda · 07/10/2022 20:22

Why not report to police instead? Seems like a more constructive step.

Pointless, unfortunately

MaggiesPrincess · 07/10/2022 20:34

Don’t apologise! She is 100% in the wrong! Yes in cool light of day your reaction was a little over the top but I understand the frustration of seeing someone continually parking illegally and making it unsafe for children. I can never get my head around someone collecting their own children from school with no consideration for the safety of other peoples children.

Travis1 · 07/10/2022 20:35

I wouldn’t apologise id start taking photos and reporting daily

Thesearmsofmine · 07/10/2022 20:37

Take photos. It’s much more effective, we used to have a massive problem with people blocking our drive at school run time, funnily enough if they see you holding your phone up as if taking photos they soon stop.

SirChenjins · 07/10/2022 20:37

Do NOT apologise - don’t you dare!! She’s the one who should be ashamed of her twattish behaviour behind the wheel and apologising.

Maray1967 · 07/10/2022 20:41

No, do not apologise! Take her car details and report to school if they send out car reg numbers and earnings in school messages (ours does) or to the police.

She’d be getting a verbal onslaught from me.