DS got a tattoo - AIBU to be furious?

Never mind.... he won't turn into a bad boy, could even be Prime Minister one day!🤣

We told DS very firmly that if he got one he could kiss goodbye to any parental contribution for university. I’m not sure whether he seriously considered it then but several years on he doesn’t seem to want one now.
There is an older relative in our family who bitterly regretted his - and we talked about that.

Your DP isn't DS' father and has no parental responsibilities or parental rights. He had no authority to make decisions. I'd be furious with him

Your son probably will regret the tattoo, as will many when they inevitably fall out of fashion. But what's done is done and he will have to live with the consequences. That's punishment enough IMHO

That's a shocking approach

@Maray1967 is laying their cards on the table. If you do X the consequence would be Y. You might think it shocking @girlmom21 but it’s alongside a conversation about someone they know who regretted a tattoo. It might not be your approach but I imagine they know their DC and are confident that their parenting style will work. Some teenagers need this type of black and white approach and respond well, others don’t and I’m sure it’s the former here.

Had my first on my 16th birthday. Love the memory and the story (although the tattoo could be more professionally done!).

Yabu unless it's on his face like Matt off MAFS UK.

I was 15 having my first tattoo and at various points in my life I've regretted it. I was recently having the conversation with dd and dn, both 16, and they have good arguments for being able to choose for themselves. Apparently from their point of view if it's "their body, their choice" when it comes to abortion and vaccines then it should be the same for tattoos and piercings. I've never thought about it that way but I suppose to a point they are right, we can't give them the choice when it suits them and as they rightly point out a tattoo is on their body for life and a vaccine is in their body for life.

My argument was you are a different person at say 38 than 16 and you might regret your choice of tattoo. I suppose there's always laser surgery as an option but ideally your partner wouldn't have taken him. On the other hand at least he's had it done in a sterile environment by a professional (hopefully) and not his mate with an Amazon tattoo kit!

So OP what have you done about Disney dad and his feckless friend? Or are you still focusing all of the blame on a kid who’s brain isn’t fully developed yet?

My 19 year old has got 3. I’m not furious as he’s an adult 🤷‍♀️ It’s just that they’re really shit. Badly done and poorly poisoned. I’ve tried to gently tell him this but he thinks they’re the bees knees. DH is currently going through laser tattoo removal for a shit tattoo he had at the exact same age. His one and only tattoo and he really regrets it 😆

*positioned. Not poisoned!

Cried every time DC presented theirs to me. Hate ‘tats’ when so obvious. Agree. In any decision, always allow the option to change your mind (unless children).

That’s exactly what it is , pan pacific, thank you. We were not threatening to throw him out - just pointing out that if he spent his money on a tattoo at 18 that he might seriously regret he can fund his own uni studies by working more hours to supplement his student finance. He did not kick off about it but clearly thought about it.
My in-laws did similar with DH at the same age over a motorbike. If he got one they would not be paying their parental contribution. He always says it made him think and wait until he could get a car. Someone we know was badly hurt on a motorbike.

He came back home today with DP and he's had the tattoo, he had given him consent and I'm furious.

The law is here; The age restriction is set out by the tattooing of minors act 1969 which says it is illegal to tattoo a young person under 18 years of age. The liability however is on the tattoo artists and new guideline say that tattoo artists must look for proof of age and make a record of it before inking.

Even with parental consent, in the UK is is illegal for anyone to have a tattoo under 18.

So your DP could be lying and/'or the tattooist sounds dodgy.

Local authorities keep a register of all tattooists and issue registration certificates, the certificate must be on display in their parlour or studio.

Illegal tattooing means either tattooing a young person who is under the age of 18 or tattooing carried out by an unregistered tattooist.
If a tattooist does tattoo a young person, the tattooist will be prosecuted and fined.

You could have a civil claim against the tattoo parlour over this, for damages to pay to have it removed.

I would inform both the police and the Local Authority.

It goes without saying that you need to have a very serious conversation with your DP about this.

I have quite a few tattoos and I wouldn't be ok with this.

DP is the issue here, he went behind your back and found an "artist" willing to tattoo him illegally. Does he try to be friends with DS or a parent? Any shop willing to do something like that would make me question what else they're not doing right. How are their hygiene practices for example?

Is DS keeping up with aftercare properly to prevent an infection?

If it's a small tattoo DS may not regret it in the future and if he did it could be covered but I still wouldn't be ok with this.

no reputable shop would tattoo a minor despite parental consent it’s actually illegal so I’d be more worried about that than the tattoo. If this is a truthful post the implications could be far worse if he’s gone to a dodgy place to get this done.