AIBU?
DS got a tattoo - AIBU to be furious?
balbach · 07/10/2022 19:02
I'm posting to see if I'm being U to be furious.
My son is 16, he goes through phases of wanting things then losing interest (like most teens probably!), for about a year he'd been going on about wanting an eyebrow piercing, in the end I let him and it was only in for about 6/7 months until he lost interest and took it out.
He’d also been asking for a lip piercing recently, I said no and he's now lost interest in that - the same as a nose piercing. Those are just examples of how quickly he changes his mind.
He's always said he wanted a tattoo, recently he's decided what of and had been asking me, I've said no and he needs to wait until he's 18 which he wasn't happy about. He came back home today with DP and he's had the tattoo, he had given him consent and I'm furious.
DP says I'm overreacting and it's just a tattoo and doesn't seem to understand he's in the wrong.
AIBU?
ErinAoife · 07/10/2022 22:36
SoUpset1984 · 07/10/2022 19:55
Wrong, you have to be 18 in Ireland to get a tattoo.
They won't accept parental consent,that's only for piercings.
And it's always been like that.
But and it's a big but there are places that will tattoo you no questions asked.
I got my first at 17 and I didn't even look 17😂 but that was 32 years ago and I know they have really tightened up regarding I'd.
ErinAoife · 07/10/2022 19:50
The nephew of my ex husband had a tattoo at 14, his father gave him parental consent, they live in Ireland where there is no minimum legal age to get a tattoo but under 17 need parental consent. He is now 30 and regrets his tattoo.
@SoUpset1984 , have a look at the citizen information there is no minimum legal age in Ireland. www.citizensinformation.ie/en/reference/checklists/checklist_at_what_age_can_i.html.
I was surprised by it but you can with parental consent getting a tattoo if you are under 17. I could believe when my ex husband'snephew told me he get his at 14 and his father allowed it. Hopefully some shops in Ireland have their own strict rules at what age you can get tattoo but legally there is no minimum legal age for tattoo in Ireland
VeridicalVagabond · 07/10/2022 22:48
I got my first at 15 and don't regret it, it's got a story. Thankfully my mum didn't blow a gasket about it either or I might not have such happy associations with it.
Be angry with your partner, yes, he's been irresponsible and sly. He deserves rage. But your son has just behaved exactly like a 16 year old boy who's been told not to do something by "the man", and there's no point making him feel shit about something that is now a permanent mark on his body.
SoUpset1984 · 07/10/2022 23:07
ErinAoife · 07/10/2022 22:36
@SoUpset1984 , have a look at the citizen information there is no minimum legal age in Ireland. www.citizensinformation.ie/en/reference/checklists/checklist_at_what_age_can_i.html.
I was surprised by it but you can with parental consent getting a tattoo if you are under 17. I could believe when my ex husband'snephew told me he get his at 14 and his father allowed it. Hopefully some shops in Ireland have their own strict rules at what age you can get tattoo but legally there is no minimum legal age for tattoo in Ireland
SoUpset1984 · 07/10/2022 19:55
Wrong, you have to be 18 in Ireland to get a tattoo.
They won't accept parental consent,that's only for piercings.
And it's always been like that.
But and it's a big but there are places that will tattoo you no questions asked.
I got my first at 17 and I didn't even look 17😂 but that was 32 years ago and I know they have really tightened up regarding I'd.
ErinAoife · 07/10/2022 19:50
The nephew of my ex husband had a tattoo at 14, his father gave him parental consent, they live in Ireland where there is no minimum legal age to get a tattoo but under 17 need parental consent. He is now 30 and regrets his tattoo.
Link doesn't exist
ErinAoife · 07/10/2022 23:23
www.citizensinformation.ie
just put tattoo in the search and it will appear
Charcy · 08/10/2022 08:23
OnaBegonia · 08/10/2022 07:28
@Charcy
Who exactly are you to tell anyone to 'pipe down'?
This is a public forum where we all have different opinions.
Opinions are a completely different thing to stating lies as facts. Being wrong is NOT an opinion. 😊
Have a wonderful day.
pinkyredrose · 08/10/2022 10:00
TheWitchersWife · 07/10/2022 19:09
I call BS purely because no tattooist will tattoo a 16yr old. It’s illegal and if caught they risk loosing their license. It’s not worth it.
I got my first tattoo at 15. Without parental consent. So did most my friends. If you are paying money, someone, somewhere will do you want. I don't even know if they had a license but they did have a shop.
It's illegal under 18, no exceptions. Anyone willing to tattoo a minor is breaking the law, it's a myth that parental consent makes it legal.
x2boys · 08/10/2022 10:06
balbach · 07/10/2022 19:02
I'm posting to see if I'm being U to be furious.
My son is 16, he goes through phases of wanting things then losing interest (like most teens probably!), for about a year he'd been going on about wanting an eyebrow piercing, in the end I let him and it was only in for about 6/7 months until he lost interest and took it out.
He’d also been asking for a lip piercing recently, I said no and he's now lost interest in that - the same as a nose piercing. Those are just examples of how quickly he changes his mind.
He's always said he wanted a tattoo, recently he's decided what of and had been asking me, I've said no and he needs to wait until he's 18 which he wasn't happy about. He came back home today with DP and he's had the tattoo, he had given him consent and I'm furious.
DP says I'm overreacting and it's just a tattoo and doesn't seem to understand he's in the wrong.
AIBU?
Being mad is not going to achieve anything tattoos are permanent, what's he had done and where?
CloseYourEyesAndSee · 08/10/2022 10:15
Be furious with your partner of course, that's fucking outrageous.
However you're being way too controlling of your son wanting piercings at 16. Piercings aren't permanent the way tattoos are and he's old enough to make his own choices on non permanent body mods. Maybe you need to loosen up a bit and he might not respond with the nuclear option!
The partner though - that's probably unforgivable.
IncompleteSenten · 08/10/2022 10:27
cutthelawn · 08/10/2022 10:12
Just wanna say this though..... (just in case you didn't realise this already!) the more you 'forbid' a teen to do something, the more they'll do it
was waiting on this mn trope, another way of saying you should have let him in the 1st place...
It is true though. The more you say no, the more they want it. I remember being a kid.
It's just tough shit because they can't have it. Cry me a river, sunshine. It's still a no.
Unless you've got a dickhead for a partner as in this case.
Fe345fleur · 08/10/2022 11:05
I'd be annoyed at DP and the friend. But if it helps, he's the one who has to live with it. So if he hates it in future that's his lookout - it will probably date really badly if it's a character one. But lots of people have stupid tattoos done when they're young so don't stay thermonuclear angry with him for too long.
W0tnow · 08/10/2022 11:16
I’d be ropable. And no, I don’t need to unclench. A ‘friend’ giving my child a tattoo? Or even a qualified person, for that matter. Err, no. I’ve told my children if they get one under the age of 18, I don’t know what the punishment would be, they’d just have to find out. They may end up with them as adults, but under 18, I don’t think they’ll test me.
PanPacificBallroomChampion · 08/10/2022 14:07
Just wanna say this though..... (just in case you didn't realise this already!) the more you 'forbid' a teen to do something, the more they'll do it
Some teenagers, not all. I know plenty that weren’t allowed to do stuff that didn’t go on to do it. That’s the problem with a lot of parents, they stop parenting because they believe either their child will do it anyway or everyone else is doing whatever. I regularly have said to my two that I couldn’t care less what everyone else is doing, they are my only concern. If they want to moan about me to their friends “it’s so unfair” Kevin style, they could feel free to.
secular39 · 08/10/2022 14:10
I seriously do not know what's up some of these parents on Mumsnet. Maybe it's a British thing but it looks like as soon as children reach 13+ they can do what they want to do.
I wanted an industral piercing when I was 16- I begged my mum and she said no. Looking back, I am so glad I didn't do it as it was a stupid piercing (for me) and if I were to remove it, I would have been left with a horrible scar.
RosesAndHellebores · 08/10/2022 14:41
I'd have been very disappointed op when my dc were 16. As I was when they had cartilage piercings on their ears. Was shocked when dd did it, less so ds as he was more headstrong.
They don't have them any more. Nobody can see they did.
In the last ten years tatoos have become more mainstream but they can't disappear with expensive intervention and for that reason alone as teenagers are immature and possibly insecure about what they want now and in the future, I think 16's too young. Mine argued black was white though at that age about their rights and knowing what was best.
Neither have tattoos and they are mid/late 20s now.
genuinelyaskingforafriend · 08/10/2022 14:48
I'd be reporting the tattooist and try to get him struck off.
My son is 14 and over six foot tall with a very deep voice etc. Everyone thinks he's about 19.
Unless the tattooist is held to account then he could be tattooing kids of my son's age!
DuchessofAnkh77 · 08/10/2022 15:11
balbach · 07/10/2022 19:18
DP’s friend did it apparently. It is small but will be noticeable when wearing just a tshirt, I think it is something he'll regret as it's a character of some sort so not anything meaningful!
You report the person without a second thought. even if it is DP's mate.
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