To think that a five year old boy should not be permanently excluded from school?

[whatatanker]

My son has been threatened with permanent exclusion today.

His behaviour is poor, but I have honestly tried so many things - have an older son, who is absolutely delightful and enjoys school.

He is 5 weeks into school in his reception year. He’s emotionally immature and struggles to sit still and has started hurting others in the classroom.

Should this really be happening?

He must be an absolute nightmare in the classroom and a threat to the other children and maybe even the teacher!
100% he should be excluded! No way should the other children have to suffer because of one child!
I’m sure the teacher and the other parents will breathe a sigh of relief!

@Alltheholidays wonderful enlightened response there 🙄

@Mumofsend wholeheartedly agree, feels like some sort of NIMBY variant

July birthday - I'd ask for him to start reception next September and pull him out.

I think the parents of a continuously assaulted child may have some influence in the matter. A friend of mine, her child was in primary one and she and a few other children has been hit, bitten, assaulted basically by one child. The school stated they were "managing the situation" however it continued. It took a concerted effort from the parents of the other children, continuously contacting the headteacher, bombarding her in fact, asking how their children were going to be safeguarded and reporting assaults etc. The headteacher did eventually remove the child. They do speak to the child's mum so they know that part of the reason for removal was due to the level of complaints about assaults and safeguarding.

Allowing one child to physically assault others is preferential treatment, not equal.

Every area is different, my friends little boy started reception last year, it was quickly identified they couldn’t meet his needs, he was given a 121 and moved to a special school before Christmas.

‘Every child in mainstream’ is beyond batshit. Some kids can’t cope, to the detriment of the other children, it’s unfair all round.

OP, have a look at the Department for Education Exclusions Guidance . It emphasises that exclusion should be absolutely the last resort, and in particular schools should be thinking about whether the child has SEN or a disability and doing everything they can to give support if so before they contemplate exclusion. If necessary, quote the relevant sections to the school.

I'm a governor in a school which has never imposed a permanent exclusion. Basically it has always been their view that if they had to exclude permanently it would be a serious failure on their part. I 100% agree.

Can everyone stop pretentending that all/most 4/5 year olds a bunch of feral animals that hurt one another. It is not the case and is not helping anyone. Ops child clearly has issues and pretending his actions are normal will not help anyone, least of all all the children involved.

That is honestly amazing. I don't think that's usual for large parts of the country unfortunately. But I wholeheartedly agree with you that every child in mainstream is batshit.

If he is summer born I would pull him out. Look at schools with good send provision. It’s not his fault or yours. I would look into adhd contact your gp and ask for a referral to a community paediatrician. Speak to the school sendco. His needs aren’t being met if he is behaving this way. If he has a diagnosis he is entitled to a ehcp. Contact sendiass for your area and ask for help. He may need a 1-1 member of staff once everything is in place. If he has additional needs the change in setting coukd have caused him massive stress. I would try again next September personally. But in the meantime get everything ready so he is understood and supported protecting him and the other children.

@FishFingerSandwiches4Tea From what I’ve read on MN over the years I think she has been really lucky in her experience and it’s transformed his life, he’s thriving. Such a shame specialist schools aren’t more readily accessible for everyone.

Biting is not normal at this age. He definitely needs some interventions. The class teacher may have spoken out far too prematurely but something needs to be put in place for your son. To answer your Op, I have known of two situations where dcs were permanently excluded in their foundation year. It led to them getting the support they needed. One ended up back in mainstream education and is settled now in secondary school.

DD5 has just started school and there's an incredibly disruptive boy in her class. From what I gather there have been thrown chairs, kids getting kicked, girls getting their hair pulled, the teacher being bitten...I won't lie I'd love him to be excluded. The whole class suffers for one child's behaviour and it's very unfair.

He needs an assessment.

All of those responses are reactionary. Things like taking away break time are often counter productive.

What he needs is someone to watch him and figure out his triggers. That comes with an assessment.

Clearly the school were not safeguarding all the children, so they were at fault I'm not suggesting a parent shouldn't be upset that their child was being assaulted ,but they can't arbitrarily decide that a child should be removed, it's up to the school.and they need to put things in place so that all children are safe guarded.

I missed that? They take away a 5 year old’s break time? If that’s true, they are clueless.

Contact your local SENDIASS for advice. Every local authority has one, so google yours.

the school should refer to other agencies first and go through a number of processes.

In my LA, the waiting time for an EP assessment is 18 months currently!

Special school places in my LA are like gold dust. I'm helping someone with an appeal, I'm constantly furious at what the school and LA have done to a family so in need (multiple issues asides from child with SEN). The parent has been led on a merry dance for over 2 years. The child meets the criteria for Severe Learning Difficulties school, but instead left in mainstream not coping. Child is Yr3.

The wait for EHCP tribunal appeals is approximately 1 year(!) I would urge getting the process started ASAP if believe that's what's needed.

I’m sure if your other son and his friends were covered in bruises and bite marks because the same boy hurt them then you’d want the school to do something too. You can’t blame his behaviour on his age. Plenty of summer babies know not to hurt others by the middle of Nursery. Did he do this prior to Reception? If he’s being excluded then hopefully you’ll get more support.

Maybe mainstream school isn’t right for him.

If he's not compulsory school age, I don't think the LA are required to make alternative provision?

Goodness....he is four and three months and in full time school? he is really very young for school....if he went next September...he would still be not much more than 5. Is that an option? and maybe look for help from GP in the meantime. Poor little lad.

In my opinion having over 20 years experience as a school governor, a school that excludes a child has failed that child.