Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a five year old boy should not be permanently excluded from school?

568 replies

whatatanker · 07/10/2022 17:49

My son has been threatened with permanent exclusion today.

His behaviour is poor, but I have honestly tried so many things - have an older son, who is absolutely delightful and enjoys school.

He is 5 weeks into school in his reception year. He’s emotionally immature and struggles to sit still and has started hurting others in the classroom.

Should this really be happening?

OP posts:
Thatsnotmycar · 09/04/2023 21:41

fUNNYfACE36 · 09/04/2023 21:39

I'm not quite sure where people think DCs should go to school if they are unlucky enough to show aggressive behaviour.

Aggressive behaviour is a choice not a misfortune

Do you think any other presentation of a disability is a choice? Or is it only certain ones you discriminate against?

fUNNYfACE36 · 09/04/2023 21:53

Thatsnotmycar · 09/04/2023 21:41

Do you think any other presentation of a disability is a choice? Or is it only certain ones you discriminate against?

Show quote history

The boy is not known to have any disability

Florenz · 09/04/2023 21:55

Being violent is not a disability, it's a crime.

Thatsnotmycar · 09/04/2023 22:04

Displaying VCB absolutely can be part of how some disabilities sometimes present.

Johnnysgirl · 09/04/2023 22:40

Thatsnotmycar · 09/04/2023 22:04

Displaying VCB absolutely can be part of how some disabilities sometimes present.

What is VCB, and what disability presents in this way?

steff13 · 09/04/2023 22:42

This happened in October. Certainly it's been addressed by now.

ThinWomansBrain · 09/04/2023 22:46

no, of course it shouldn't be happening - your son should not be injuring other children.

How would you feel if your other son came home injured, or ended up in hospital because one of his classmates had attacked him, and the Mother responded with 'it's not his fault, he's a bit immature'?

Thatsnotmycar · 09/04/2023 22:49

VCB is violent and challenging behaviour. There are many disabilities that in some (obviously not all) people can sometimes result in VCB. For example, some (obviously not all) people with autism, a learning disability, ADHD, Prader–Willi syndrome, unlikely to be relevant to young DC but also psychosis, dementia... There are others too.

sue20 · 10/04/2023 10:45

NurseCranesRolodex · 08/04/2023 11:01

This makes me fume!
Wrong approach completely. This child is crying out to have u met needs addressed. It could be any number of root causes but he needs accommodated 1:1 or 2:1 for large parts of the day, out of the busy environment of class which he can't cope with. He needs to be self directed in preferred play for 95% of the day. He is not developmentally ready for academics. Help should be directed to his well being, coping strategies, moving around outside, having sensory time in quiet, dark non stimulating room or outside on a scooter or climbing wall. Is this England?

Show quote history

Er I’m making EXACTLY the same point although with less words. Not sure quite what you read into and assumed with my post? Or was it accidentally intended for another post ( done that before myself! )

x2boys · 10/04/2023 10:56

Sleepyandconfused · 08/04/2023 10:33

From another point of view, my child is 5 and if another child was hurting him at school I’d be absolutely furious if that child was NOT permanently excluded.

How would you feel.if it was your child who had disabilities and was hurting others?

Johnnysgirl · 10/04/2023 11:02

x2boys · 10/04/2023 10:56

How would you feel.if it was your child who had disabilities and was hurting others?

Show quote history

It's a nightmare situation for the parent, but you can see it needs resolving for everyone's sake?

Other children can't be considered acceptable collateral damage because another child's disability causes them to behave aggressively.

x2boys · 10/04/2023 11:14

Johnnysgirl · 09/04/2023 22:40

What is VCB, and what disability presents in this way?

Show quote history

Well.my severely autistic,non verbal nearly 13 yearold has very challenging behaviour at times

Johnnysgirl · 10/04/2023 11:17

x2boys · 10/04/2023 11:14

Well.my severely autistic,non verbal nearly 13 yearold has very challenging behaviour at times

Show quote history

I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds horrendous.
You do see why (nasty as it may sound) other people need to be protected from his behaviour, though?

x2boys · 10/04/2023 11:22

Johnnysgirl · 10/04/2023 11:17

I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds horrendous.
You do see why (nasty as it may sound) other people need to be protected from his behaviour, though?

Show quote history

He goes to.a special school,so his behaviour is managed well ,the problem is that not all children will.meet the criteria for special school,s but their behaviour can still be very challenging, ,I'm not sure what the answer it's but all.children are entitled to an education.

Johnnysgirl · 10/04/2023 11:29

x2boys · 10/04/2023 11:22

He goes to.a special school,so his behaviour is managed well ,the problem is that not all children will.meet the criteria for special school,s but their behaviour can still be very challenging, ,I'm not sure what the answer it's but all.children are entitled to an education.

Show quote history

all.children are entitled to an education.
Yes.

NurseCranesRolodex · 10/04/2023 11:41

sue20 · 10/04/2023 10:45

Er I’m making EXACTLY the same point although with less words. Not sure quite what you read into and assumed with my post? Or was it accidentally intended for another post ( done that before myself! )

Show quote history

It was intended in support of your post. Thought that was obvious enough but you seem to want to be sarcastic, whatever!!

sue20 · 10/04/2023 12:05

Sorry your response sounded as directed personally towards me re “making me fume etc” But my answer was bewildered not sarcastic. I should listen to my post name!

Jules912 · 10/04/2023 14:01

Sleepyandconfused · 08/04/2023 10:33

From another point of view, my child is 5 and if another child was hurting him at school I’d be absolutely furious if that child was NOT permanently excluded.

My DD lashes out when she has a meltdown. Now she's mostly got the right support this rarely happens at school, so I'm glad school took the time to work out what the right support was rather than permanently excluding. And yes she did get several suspensions while working it out. Incidents usually occur if they can't take her out because no staff are free ( we're working on it but hard to get funding)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page