These women don’t have the right to complain

[Cheeseplants]

That their baby’s father is a deadbeat, when they told them from the start they didn’t want a child with them.

Like what did they expect?
I’m all for women having the right to choose, but when you choose to give birth to a child that’s dad does not want him/her… are you justified in complaining about that man when the child is born and isn’t playing daddy?

YABU- yes they have the right to complain
YANBU- no they shouldn’t complain

The women didn't get pregnant by themselves. If anyone of either sex doesn't want a child, it's their responsibility to takes steps to prevent it.

I know exactly what you mean, and feel the same.

The point is, why do women choose to expose themselves to the risk of pregnancy with men who have made clear they don't want to parent, and with men who are clearly deadbeats/losers/users/abusers?

Why have sex with these guys and then complain about the very predictable outcomes??

Be more discriminating and find men who aren't losers?

I think the 'it's a woman's bodily choice' remarks a somewhat disingenuous. Many men who have children willingly still don't provide for their kids so a man who tells you he doesn't want a kid from the get go is setting his stall out early. If you do become pregnant and keep his child then you must lay in the bed you have made. The truth is a lot of these women have low self esteem and hope he will eventually come around and they can all live happily ever after but that is rarely if ever the case. Just heartbreak all round.

It's perfectly possible, and a lot less destructive to the quality of the woman's life than raising a child with no help.

Kosherdill, so in the early stages of dating, when you might not know all the guys flaws, you're not meant to have sex with them?

Why do men choose to thave unprotected sex with women who are clearly able to have children?
Why is contraception only the womens responsibility?
Why do men choos to have sex when they know it can lead to pregnancy.
Don't want kids, don't have sex - simpes!

Kingtampon, so celibacy it is then, until marriage?

Everyone is free to make their own decisions as long as they accept the consequences of these decisions.

The man can have sex, not wear a condom, create a pregnancy, and decide to walk away.

The woman has the choice not to protect herself, fall pregnant and keep the child.

The man faces the consequences of having a child somewhere, having to pay maintenance for 20 years, and dealing with them potentially facing them one day.

The woman faces raising a child alone and facing the child asking where their dad is.

Noone can complain of the consequences of their actions and decisions. Only the child can.

Who are “these women” are they related to “those meddling kids!” ?

Exactly.

I agree, it's not that men shouldn't take responsibility of course but when women are surprised they are feckless fathers when they have been clear from the start about their intentions. Nothing was going to magically change from a bloke saying that to the baby being here in the way many hope/assume it will. Again this isn't about whether the fathers are in the right doing this, but the surprise when they do exactly as they say on the tin is surely ridiculous and naieve. It should be factored into a women's decision is the reality, not to be coerced into anything they don't want to do- but okay the dad doesn't want to be a father can i do this alone.

If men don’t want a child that much, they should refrain from having sex.

As should women.

You can't keep blaming women (and girls) for men's contraception failures. Is it not enough that they are bringing up these men's children on their own, you still want to stamp on them too?

It is not your place to say, the DC will be the judge and I don't think the sexually incontinent, unreliable parent will be the one coming out on top.

Are we not bored of this yet?

Sorry, but from experience I think are a many women who just have to have a boyfriend at all times and therefore accept any old rubbish. Women: you don't need a man, and definitely not a rubbish one. Wait for a decent one or get a pet!!

Equally there are women who just have to have a baby and an awful deadbeat is better than none at all.

Why are you only considering mens contraception failures as if they are the only ones who can possible be responsible for contraception?

Women are equally responsible, and have far more methods of contraception available to them as well as emergency contraception after the fact. Yet so many posts on here are all about blaming the man as if all
women are weak and incapable and need men to protect them from their own biology. It’s pathetic and as a woman, I resent it. I’m perfectly capable of making my own reproductive choices no matter those of any random man I might choose to have sex with.

If a woman falls pregnant and stays pregnant, it’s because she chooses to.

@KimberleyClark I don't think it is just some women who would prefer to be in a relationship than none, only that the consequences can be very different.

@ClocksGoingBackwards , the women end up bringing up the children with no input from the the men though don't they? Women's contraceptive failures are already accounted for, men's are not.

Even CMS don't hold men to account, there is no requirement for them to actually provide for their child, they can earn as little as they like or nothing at all, as if they did not have any children that require bringing up.

So all children who were formed by two people when one then decides to opt out should be aborted or given away as one of the two biological parents does not want to support the child? Really this is your thought process?

How often do men tell women, before they sleep with them, that they don't want any resulting children. More likely they only say that when it is too late and the baby has already been made. So what you are saying is that men who make babies get a free pass to say they don't want to step up and be a parent but women who make babies don't, unless they choose to terminate.

"Abortions can take place in the first 24 weeks of pregnancy in England, Scotland and Wales. However, they have to be approved by two doctors. They must agree having the baby would pose a greater risk to the physical or mental health of the woman than a termination."

Abortion is not birth control!

If he didn't want dc, he shouldn't have had sex.

True. But if she didn't want to have a baby with a deadbeat dad, she shouldn't have had sex with a deadbeat. Both parties bear responsibility.

@Cheeseplants you've come up with this thread as if it's an original thought. As if we haven't had backstreet abortionists and laundries that women and girls can be sent to.

Completely ignoring all the future fakers, love bombers and men who will make empty promises to have unprotected sex. As if girls and women have not been groomed since birth to put men's wants above their own health and needs.

Well I personally would like to thank the morning after pill failure along with my eldest kids deadbeat dad for my kids right to be alive against all odds anyway. Years we were together and he only mentioned that he did not want kids the very first night we slept together without protection after having the conversation about wanting a child together. 3 years wasted on him but over a decade loving a child without him.

The judgement on here is crazy.

Are we also going to talk about the simple fact that "These men who don't want these babies should perhaps think long and hard before dipping their wick.