'The wife'

[Cigent]

As in men referring to their girlfriends as 'the wife'.

I have a friend whose boyfriend does it like of the time - 'date night with the wife', 'being spoiled by the wife', 'the wife's just at the bar'. It drives me crackers. They're not even married!

AIBU? I don't know why it winds me up so much but it really does.

Automatic flinch from me. Generally said by a certain type of person.

See also “the missus”, which is ever so slightly worse

Yep, absolutely same thing with 'the missus'.

Or worse than either of the above - 'wifey' 👊

I also cringe but it can be a regional thing. I’m from the north of England but live in the south. I rarely hear it at home in the south but almost everyone says it in my ‘hometown’.

YABU because it’s not your partner. If his partner doesn’t mind it is fuck all to do with you. I don’t mind, my husband does it in a very affection and light hearted way, and would stop if I felt i didn’t like it.

Lol, 'our lass' in some places here oop north! :-)

Wifey
Missus
The Wife

All better than girlfriend once you've been together a long time. See no problem with either.

Why are they better? Being together a long time doesn't make someone a wife.

Or

‘Er indoors’

Ugh it's the missus here. Can't stand it. It's worse than wifey and hubby.

Honestly, can’t understand why it would bother you. It’s not you that’s not married and called ‘the wife’.

Dp has referred to me as ‘the wife’ on 2 occasions, as a joke because I won’t get married. I didn’t find it funny either time.

I'm in the North too. 'Wor lass' here. Don't mind that one at all, strangely.

I think the annoyance is this attempt to 'pretend' that they're married for some reason. He'll talk about 'the in-laws' too. They are not.

Oh you’ve forgotten the worst of all

”my bird”

I'm from the NW and most men do refer to their wife as the wife ,the missus ,the boss etc do it doesn't bother me .

In all seriousness I have friends who call their boyfriends sisters “sister in law” or get called wifey by their boyfriend who is yet to put a ring on their finger

SWMBO

I agree with you on 'the wife'. Horrible, owner-ish term. So she's good enough for a definite article, but not good enough for an actual name, eh squire?

'Wifey', however, feels a bit different; it sits in an absolute cringe-hell alongside 'hubby' and 'hubster' for me personally. They're as bad as each other!

That's their wife though. The people I'm talking about aren't married.

DP refers to me as my other half and honestly I hate it! I am a whole person, thank you.

Yes this. Why do they do it? If they want wives and sister in laws then get married. If they don't want to get married then why do they want to talk about their wife and in laws?

Honestly winds me right up.

Oh, it’s the “the”, which bothers me, not referring to someone as a wife if not married 😂 No problem with “my wife” or “my mrs”.

I genuinely can’t remember whether folk I know are married or not even if I went to the wedding

I refer to DB’s partner as my sister in law. They’ve been together 15 years and have a child.

Same here

She's family and I couldn't care less if they're legally married or not.

@Cigent Ah apologies I'm half asleep today , yes I agree with what you mean then it's a very odd thing to call your girlfriend the wife or wifey if they aren't actually married .

Yeah, I get it, OP.

It’s the use of ‘the’, combined with the fact that the man using it hasn’t actually bothered his arse to marry the woman.

No, it doesn’t affect you. But so what? You can still have an opinion on it! And internally 🙄😬 when you hear it.