Does life lose its magic in your 40’s?

[Youvegotasecretsmile]

I’m 44 and remember my 30’s as still being quite fun, I looked forward to the future, enjoyed music more, going out a little, travelling, drank more.
I dunno…the magic has gone, the romance of life, I feel more jaded and realistic

Do you think it's partly the state of the world getting you down? I'm a decade younger than you, don't have children and not much in my personal circumstances has changed in the last few years, but I also find myself feeling less optimistic and excited about life than I did before the pandemic and now all this stuff with Russia. It's not so much that I panic day to day about the sky falling in or anything, more that every time I try to make long term plans a part of me is thinking in the back of my mind 'yeah but who knows what might have happened to throw them off course by then', whereas in 2019 I'd have just assumed anything I planned to do would go ahead as intended.

My 50s are miles better than my 20s. I’m confident, fitter, have more of an idea of what I want and need from life…

Not for me. Maybe find a new hobby to take joy in? I've taken up historical sword fighting and it is brilliant.

Hell no. Were 49, but our 40s have been great. We travel more (about 5 orb6 tines per year) abroad as kids grown up, we go out more as dint need babysitter, we tour on my husbands motorcycle, have a lot more me/free time.....

Depends on your circumstances. I'm 30 and feel like that now. But have 4 kids and share a couple of businesses with my husband and feel quite run down and a bit fed up. I'm hoping when the youngest starts school next year I will pick up a bit

I think the “life begins at 40” thing comes from a time when people used to settle down and have kids much younger, so your 40s would be a time when your kids were almost grown and your mortgage was almost paid off, and you’d have more freedom and money than in your 20s and 30s. Not do much these days, obviously!

I haven't made up my mind about my forties and I'm 47 - in some ways they are harder, kids are at school and teenage years are ahead, parents getting on, a certain sense of time ticking away, 50 staring me in the face as the lovely Hilary Mantel said.

But I achieved a lifelong dream last year of publishing a novel, have another book on the go and feel like I'm just hitting my stride creatively. In some ways I feel older but I've also started taking better care of myself, prioritising sleep and exercise and stopped drinking so it balances out somewhat, although I have two extra kilos since COVID I can't drop.

These days I feel able to say no to what I don't want and yes to what i do, which is reading and the odd night out. I've become a lot more careful about who I give my time & energy too, and regret not doing that sooner.

The only thing that has changed for me is that men annoy me so much, in general, all the time. I probably need to go to the GP about that.

I'm 29 and life is fucking shite.

I have a young dc so could be that 🤔 even though I love being a mum so very much, my 20/30’s were all my big travelling, fun days etc

For me, this is key.
I think it is stage not age.
As I moved through my 40s, my dc were teens and at a stage when I could go out an leave them for a few hours, or at least not have to stay with them until dh was in. The dc had their own keys and walked back from school on their own. They could cook, and would cook the evening meal once a week (each). So for me (and probably many others) 40s was a time when I started having a bit of "me time" after 10 - 15 years of having to put the dc's needs at the forefront all the time.
If you spent your 30s travelling and having fun and now have a little one, then your "now" is what I did in my 30s, so you have to wait until your 50s probably to start getting a bit more of your own life back.

Yes it did for me . I think it loses its magic when you lose your parents . Although mom is still here and I still see her a few times a week I have lost her to dementia . Dad died when I was in my forties . Menopause and the reality of being an only child and having an only child means a very small shrinking family but I try to practice gratitude so try to slay afloat of being pulled back into depression .

I kind of fucked everything up but in doing so things have kind of aligned if that makes sense. Fun late teens / early 20s. Started partying early. Bit of travelling. Lots of fun packed into an 8 years, met husband, got married, had kids young (one at 24, one at 25, one at 29) got into a more middle aged type lifestyle but I loved it at the time... Did a degree, gardening and smallholding etc. Then just about when I thought 'meh, bored of this now' the husband fucked off with another woman and I got some mad years in my early 30s of part lovely free parenting on my terms alone and part partying, adventuring, exploring owing to the exH being a great dad, despite the knobbing other women aspect, so we share residency (but we had a lot of fun in the marriage so it wasn't a waste of time). Mostly fairly skint but met the most amazing man mid 39, got into an extreme sport and my kids are growing up. We have part family loveliness, part single couple life. About to hit 40, kids much more self sufficient and parenting is still quite demanding but I much prefer the teen years. Still lots of free time. Loads of free time. Extreme sport that I'm crushing that gives massive adrenaline highs almost weekly but also nice wholesome garden pottering and bird watching type chill in between. Sacrifice of not much of a career but I won't die wishing I'd gone to a office every day.

That was long! But actually has really cheered me up to write, as I've been feeling a quite shit recently so it's made me feel grateful for exactly what I have. Hoping my 40s will be just as enriching! More curve balls to be thrown at me I'm sure but I will endeavour to uphold the fun.

Depends when you had your kids. If you had them in your mid 20s then by early 40s you’re approaching freedom! The future looks bright, more opportunities to work and travel and enjoy life, possibly separate from the father of your kids and find someone new and exciting. But if you had kids at 39 you’re still slogging away at parenthood and marriage right through your 40s and it isn’t much fun.

I'll be 40 next month. I hope it's not all bad!
By the time I am 45 DC1 will be 18, DC2 16. GCSEs and A-levels that year will be tough! And possible university for my eldest. That's scary!

My parents will be older, DH is older and then there's the menopause...

But I do feel like I am beginning to give less fucks and feel more confident so swings and roundabouts really. My 20s and 30s were a blur of babies and small children.

I guess I'll find out soon (hopefully).

I don't really look at any distinct period of my life and see it as 'better' or 'worse', just different.

20s was full of fun and experimentation and going out and partying, not many responsibilties and meeting DH half way through - great. 30s was having little kids and had its tough periods but was also good in its way and the little kids were fascinating and adorable. 40s is older kids who you can really talk to more as equals and share jokes and experiences with, plus obviously little to no need for childcare; more financially stable; giving less of a shit what anyone thinks of me; being able to think of my 'career' more than just 'working'; and being able to stand my own ground better.

Just started in my forties. Can finally afford to have real fun.

That's not been my experience - having my children older (while not entirely by choice) has given me a new energy and purpose in my 40s - as with most things, it depends on the individual and the fact people tend to make the most of how things work out for them.