Does life lose its magic in your 40’s?

[Youvegotasecretsmile]

I’m 44 and remember my 30’s as still being quite fun, I looked forward to the future, enjoyed music more, going out a little, travelling, drank more.
I dunno…the magic has gone, the romance of life, I feel more jaded and realistic

Not for me. Nearly 44 and my self esteem is worse than ever. Can’t bare to see my own reflection any more and I have a constantly increasing overwhelming sense of failure. I feel that I’ve not got much purpose. I’ve never really fully enjoyed my life at any point though, so it’s probably just built on that.

Depends on circumstances. I'm mid-40s. DC are upper primary/early secondary so don't need me as much as young kids but require a lot of ferrying around to different activities and need a lot of emotional support. I now work full-time whereas I was part time in my 30s and find life is generally a slog of work, doing stuff for kids, chores. I never seem to have the energy for fun.

I’m late 40’s and my life is the best it’s ever been.

Only one child left at home and they’ll go to university in next few years. My partner and I are earning more than ever and if mortgage is almost paid off. We’re actively planning and preparing for retirement in 10-15 years. We have lots of holidays and breaks, go to gigs and the cinema frequently.

Twenty years ago we were struggling for cash, couldn’t go out as we had no babysitter, worked opposite shifts to care for children and maximising cash as we had lots of debt.

Mine did. Horrible decade of being caught between teens and aging parents, run ragged trying to manage career, lacklustre relationship and very strong sense of doors closing and missed opportunities. Not to mention suddenly getting fat and looking old.
And the good news? At 50, I suddenly got a second wind. Its like that whole period happened to my unfortunate older, miserable sister, and I'm back to being the happy, energetic optimistic woman I was in my 30s. The responsibility that tired me out has all but gone, and I have time and money to look after myself and have fun. Never felt better and I wouldn't be ten years younger again if you paid me.

It sounds like the take away message from this is that different people feel different ways at different ages but it's still possible to get the magic back.

I'm definitely happier in my 40s (41 nearly 42) couldn't give a shit what people think about me and once you get this feeling, life is so much more freeing and fun.

Why do I need to compensate for aging?! I've money, a gorgeous home, a wonderful teenage and a fantastic husband. A job I love and more confidence than I've ever had.

Much rather that than living my 20s and 30s thinking I was fat and not good enough.

I would say no, in answer to your question, but it does gain pace and is all about perspective. Wait for the 50s, even more so! Life truly is what you make it, perspective is key.

Surely that depends on the comparison? I spent at least half of my weekends in my twenties caring for either a terminally ill exMIL or my own terminally ill mum. So far my forties are a lot more easy and peaceful (taking care of my only well-napping toddler).

Life really did begin for me at 40, but that’s when I had my DS.

I did lots of travelling and worked overseas in my 20's and 30's were fun too.

Making more money than ever as I hit mid 40's though and chose to prioritise a social life so that's great too.

Chose to be single and child free, which works great for me and have always been content, or moved on. Looking forward to however long I have left.

I think a lot of happiness is how you are wired. And the rest is down to a combination or choices and circumstances.

No. That's just the thinking of the cult of youth worship which assumes anyone older than 30 is past their best and if they haven't realised it are obviously deluded.
Its complete nonsense. Very many people in their 20s are unhappy, insecure, facing financial pressure, relationship difficulties, housing issues, struggling to get careers started in environments where they are exploited, disrespected and have little autonomy.
Conversely, many older people are at the peak of their careers, with settled happy relationships, greater wealth and security, increased self confidence and are more relaxed about life in general.
Given we probably live into our 80s, it would be very sad if we only expected 12 happy years of adulthood before resigning ourselves to 50 years of disappointment.

Yes, sometimes I'm aware that younger people don't really see me, but I have a lot less anxiety, less self doubt, more self acceptance, things that are nothing to do with me don't hurt me, I've more job security, I own a house, my dd is goo company now! No bums to wipe.

I had my kids young. I’m earky 40s snd they’re off to uni or becoming more independent.
im absolutely loving my 40s so far- have never felt better, more free or had more fun. I feel like I did in my teens but it’s better because I have a family

Yanbu. I really couldn't care less about most things. Life is busy and I'm too tired to enjoy anything. Maybe I'll feel better when my teens finish school.....

Bloody loving my 40s - kids are good company, we are financially comfortable, I’ve got a good career and there’s no pressure/expectation to be young or think or beautiful. Marvellous

I had a second child and a primary age child at 40 - 3 weeks after I discovered my mother probably had dementia and father passed away suddenly . I did all on my own It’s been a challenging decade to say the least. My 50s look like freedom frankly . Career dead and blown though.

I'm 45 really enjoying life at the moment except the teenage tantrums. It helps that I'm financially secure and well on my way to paying off two rental properties. I can retire in my 50s if i wanted to. I made some clever investments in my 20s and 30s and sacrificed a lot in order to fund housing deposits. Working 50 hour weeks. Not going on holidays or buying cars. So glad I did. I appreciate most simply don't get the opportunity and I'm a firm believer in what you do in your younger years affects your older years. It's not too late to make life good. All down to attitude and graft and there will be a lot of lows and struggles but you just have to find it within yourself to carry on.

I'm 41 and feel like my life is only just starting! Mind you I don't have kids and I'm single so I'm less restricted than some. I've finally found a job I love and am good at and am learning to drive at long last! Also taken up horse riding again.
I'm finally starting to feel tentatively hopeful after a horrible few years involving a nasty break up and relocating 500 miles back to my home town.

@Buzzinwithbez

Could you share the magical trip?

Everything was fine until I had kids. Was shit a lot in my 20's but I had fun. I'm 40 now and hate life. Can't see it getting better with age. What is actual point?

Not in my experience. I've had a baby, got married, my teens are great fun and company, got a new job in a fantastic company, I get to travel for work, I'm more confident about myself than I've been in years. Life is what you make it.

@Notlosinganyweight When did you have your kids?

The last two years haven’t really been a great deal of fun for anybody, we had our first holiday abroad this year since 2018 and it was a long overdue but up until that point I had been feeling quite flat.

DH and I are in our 70s and it’s the best time of our lives. It helps that we are blessed with reasonable health, no serious financial problems and affectionate DSs and DILs and DGCs.
Having worked in demanding jobs until our 60s it is pure heaven not to have to work.
It is so much nicer than being in our forties, slogging away at our jobs and coping with teenage DCs.

I think the old age phrase of "life begins at 40" was from the days when women had their kids in their 20s and those kids were more or less adults when parents hit their 40s.

You can have all the fun in the world in your 20s but my personal hell would be having small kids or primary kids in my 40s, but that's because I had them in my 20s so know how exhausting it is. I'd much rather have my life back in my 40s and do as I please but each to their own.