to ask what are your simple joys?

[crochetmonkey74]

I'm a bit low at the moment and very overwhelmed with work. Live alone so can be lonely. I do have some things to look forward to, but I want to recapture my love of home and life. Think clean sheets, the perfect cuppa and the perfect biscuit
What are your simple joys?

-Colour! A bright dress, earrings, nails, cushion, or anything!
-Nature. The sound of the wind in the trees.
-Stars. The moon. I bought a pair of binoculars to fully appreciate.
-Doing a random act of kindness for a stranger, even something simple like letting someone out in traffic... it feels SO good
-Putting a cupboard in order.
-singing
-I deliberately follow lots of feel good accounts on socials to balance out all the negativity online and in the news

OP, with everything you've been through you absolutely need and deserve to take care of yourself.

I have a very rewarding but emotionally challenging job and I also live with a mental illness so have learned the hard way that I really have to take care of myself or things can go down-hill very quickly! Along with the basics like getting enough sleep, eating properly, not taking on too much etc. finding joy in simple things has been absolutely key to this. A few things I do

• Going to the cinema by myself. My no 1 favourite way to escape from the world!
• Curling up under a weighted blanket (great for anxiety!) with a glass of wine/hot chocolate and a good film or book. If I'm feeling really low or anxious I find it easier to watch/read something I've seen/read before as it takes less focus.
• Going for a drive and singing along to music as loud as I please.
• Fresh flowers always cheer me up.
• Letting the cat snuggle up on my bed to sleep. Cats are just good for the soul generally I think.
• Treating myself to something a bit frivolous but inexpensive that makes me feel good like a new nail varnish or hair mask.
• Going for a drink with a friend after-work to de-compress after a difficult day/week, sometimes I have to force myself if I'm low or tired but always end up being glad I did.
• I strongly recommend starting a collection, something you can get absorbed in researching and deciding what to add next, and enjoy watching that collection grow and taking care of it. For me, it's vinyl records but could be anything. I get a lot of satisfaction from it.

I see what you mean OP - teabag in mug idea is great! Maybe leaving your current book/magazine etc all ready on the sofa for the evening.

If you have a slow cooker or can use delay timer on oven, perhaps putting something in to cook during the day so you come home to lovely cooking smells that tell you dinner is on the way would work?

Wax melts! Nice smells make me feel so, so happy. I clean up and then light a lovely wax melt and it cheers me up no end.

You mention living in the same house you shared with your ex. Hmm, for me, that might make it tricky to do some proper 'nesting' and turn MY home into a haven just for ME.

All the soft blankets and candles won't help if you just don't feel right in that house.

Or I could be jumping on the wrong issue entirely! Just a thought.

Btw we are the same age! No menopause here yet, but we're definitely at the point where it could a contributing factor. Fun times! Hang in there X

Things that always make me feel better:
Having my hair done
Taking a flask of coffee to a walk and sitting on a bench with a nice view, e.g. a lake and having my coffee there

Many years ago, I had a horrible breakup and it took a while to sell the flat. Some really good advice from a friend who had been through the same was to move furniture etc. around to reclaim the space as mine rather than ours. So not even decorating but just having the sofa in a different place, or changing plants etc. You have been through a lot, it will take a while. Good luck.

Sounds like you have been through a really difficult few years OP - and hormones and peri menopause definitely don't help.

I hope you feel better soon .

Meanwhile, thank you for the thread. I have enjoyed reading though everyone's simple treats to cheer themselves up. I am one of those people who does find it a bit difficult as the days start to get shorter so some little positives are always a help .

I feel the same when I walk through a cemetery and see all the people who have gone before me. It makes me realise that we are all just passing through life.....

Some really good advice here and it's helped me crystallise my feelings too. Spoke to a friend in real life who reminded me that it's only been 19 months since everything collapsed and I need to remember it's still a journey

Finishing a complicated jigsaw
buying and wearing new underwear
hot bath with candles and a good book
great coffee
trying a new recipe
mooching round charity shops even if I don’t find anything - I love the randomness of not knowing what I might find

I relate OP.

Autumn sunshine
Voice notes from friends far away
Lamps in the evening
Slippers
Birds at the bird feeder

Hanging out with my chickens and listening to them chunter.

A warm fire and a family movie night.

A good cup of tea.

Last night it was a full red moon, when I took the DGKs home at 7, I also love sunsets, I used to stop on my way to a night shift, just to look. I can absolutely understand your problems poster. My (long since) ex H, tried to kil me (he failed by the way!!) I had myhouse re-possessed, made homeless with 2 small DKs. , just a few months after my DM who was my best friend died.Had several months of various Court appearences to cope with. My boss came to my house said "We are going to have to let you go, we cannot have you working with us when this gets in the papers". I couldn't believe it, I said "You are sacking ME because my H tried to kill me", He said, "I wouldn't put it like that".

The first sip of a hot cup of coffee
Putting the washing out on the line and seeing it blow dry on a sunny day
Something nice to look forward to for lunch or dinner
Having chocolate in the fridge as a treat
Going for a walk and feeling the sun on your face
A good pair of warm, wool socks
Cuddles with the DC
Bake Off night
When the air smells like bonfires and coal fires at this time of year
The smell of bacon cooking

A dog walk in the rain. I know if it wasn’t for the dog I wouldn’t be out, and the exercise makes me feel so much better.

a cup of tea in front of the fire.

soup, crusty warm bread and butter slightly melted

someone cancelling a meeting

A new mug
Bunch of cheap flowers
Fresh bedding