to ask what are your simple joys?

[crochetmonkey74]

I'm a bit low at the moment and very overwhelmed with work. Live alone so can be lonely. I do have some things to look forward to, but I want to recapture my love of home and life. Think clean sheets, the perfect cuppa and the perfect biscuit
What are your simple joys?

I still cant believe I've finally got a washing line!

Woohoo!

I guess some of these are more "being my future friend" type so doing stuff to make me happy at a later time type thing!

Using a teapot with some nice tea
Candles
Hot baths with salts, turn the lights off and I have just the light from the hallway
Batch cooking so when I'm tired I can just open the freezer and get a meal
Having my bed nicely made and ready, I like mismatched bedding and textures on it too
Saving a TV show I want to watch for a crappy day

Laying in a hot bath listening to Stephen Fry read Sherlock Holmes. Pure bliss.

Walking in the countryside. The further I can get away from people, the happier I feel (though one to one I generally like most people). Give me space, silence and natural light and I’m OK.

Dogs. Even the sight of a dog looking up at its owner and wagging its tail makes me happy. Dogs are God’s way of apologising for humans.

The smell of a bonfire/woodsmoke in Autumn.

Art galleries. I want my ashes scattered in The National Gallery. Paintings and studying the history of painting is a pure joy. I just wish I could paint myself. God, how I wish I could paint.

Walking around beautiful buildings. I love Bath, Edinburgh, Oxford and York.

Reading P G Wodehouse. When I’m alone, I read him out loud. It’s literally the best therapy I have ever found.

Old films.

Silence.

Baking.

Reading 19th-century novels (especially Dickens and the Brontes). It’s an escape from the modern world.

Meditation (Mark Williams is a genius - try his YouTube meditation).

Yoga and deep breathing.

Performing random acts of kindness. I know it makes me sound like a twat, but it really does make me happy. Try it.

Arent we a funny lot, we like a lot of similar things. I can understand about the washing line, I loathe mine tumble dried, I bury my face in the post line dried washing!!! Nothing like it, and that first night of the clean sheets ah yes/

Cappuccino and Portuguese custard tarts at my favourite cafe where I can sit and watch the bustle of a beautiful area of town just by the park.
At home, my scented candles. I like herby St Eval ones or anything with fig. Flowers from the garden. Also putting a hot water bottle into bed in the evening so it is a ‘surprise’ 😄

A hot bath, mini kievs and some crap tv (MAFS, love island, MIC) for some escapism.

Walking round a bookshop by myself just browsing

some lovely ideas here but I'm noticing that none of them are making me feel much - might be time for a trip to the docs (sorry to bring the thread down)

Watching my youngest grandchild come out of school ( I collect her ) she usually has one sock up, one down and her ponytail half undone, but when she runs towards me shouting Nanny Biscuits with a big grin, it makes my day perfect.
She calls me Nanny Biscuits because I always give her a snack of milk and biscuits when we get home.

It is good you are recognizing that. Good luck with everything.

Burying my face in a purring ball of cat.

A walk in nature. Trees and water in view.

At this time of year I love decorating my home. I have kids so it's all a bit Halloween but I have a lovely Pinterest board of more tasteful Autumnal decor that I aspire to. I love walking through autumn leaves and making soup. Then there's Christmas decorations and Christmas cooking and fires. I love the dark evenings with twinkly lights. Inviting people over for mince pies and mulled wine. Wrapping presents. In the New Year I enjoy a bloody good spring clean and trip to IKEA for all the things I didn't know I needed. And before you know it spring and summer are here for getting outside, bike rides, running, beach days, gardening, holidays etc.

Basically, how I enjoy my house chances with the seasons.

A cold pepsi max and two dark chocolate hobnobs at 10:30 every day.

Labelling the candles and melts that I make (making them is stressful so the labelling is the reward at the end).

Feeding DD at 3:30am. I dreamfeed her and I just love watching her have her bottle taking in every detail of her.

I received a beautiful tea pot and cup/saucer for my birthday months ago. I stashed it away as I like a big mug to tea…

After reading everyone’s posts, I’m going to get the tea pot out and start using it!! Thanks for the thread OP.

I love winter. I also love a lit candle, log fire and cosy blanket watching Strictly and Graham Norton.

That’s so lovely to read @Mentalpiece. You sound like an amazing Nanny Biscuits 😊

I’ve never had a washing line. We have lots of space for one, but for some reason never have. Maybe I need a washing line 😂

I think to enjoy simple things like tea and watching your washing dry you need to be in a good place to start with. I love a good book, a jigsaw, gin and tonic, hot bath but a few months ago when I was feeling low these things seemed pretty shit.
Maybe you need to find out why you are feeling low at the moment and work from there?

OP, has anything here resonated with you at all?

I remember the lonely/single working life, and my simple pleasures now are pretty different to then! Now it would be indian takeaway (I live in a small town with no Indian restaurant, so that's handy) and telly/bed.

I've also had depression for most of my adult life, so I know how your pleasures in life can ebb and flow. But if you're taking pleasure in almost nothing, no harm in seeing a good GP. Especially if you've felt like this for a while.

OP I think you are doing the right thing to get checked by your gp. You sound low.

I lived alone for several years & I took great comfort in making my home (a small 1 bed flat then) as cozy as I could. I also had a low income at this time so did this with small things. I surrounded myself with books, house plants, candles, throws, postcards of artworks & over the years I had collected some original artworks (mostly original prints - etchings, screen prints etc) which I hung in my living space.

I spent time finding the perfect cups & plates - ones that brought me joy everytime I used them.

I worked & studied during the week so weekdays were busy but I used to make a little ritual of making myself a lovely weekend morning breakfast most weeks.

I had a cafetiere so I made lovely coffee & used my gorgeous cup & saucer. Organic free range boiled eggs, in matching eggcup, good bread toasted with real butter & a great book to read.

My flat was on on the 3rd floor & was generally bright & sunny in that living room. I'd put Frank sinatra on the stereo & just sit & luxuriate. It's several years ago & my circumstances have changed since then but I can still close my eyes & bring myself back to that room & that feeling that all was well in the world. I had created a safe haven there.

I think we all need to do this no matter whether we live alone or in a busy household - it's easy to get caught up in the daily grind & just exist day to day. But it's very bolstering to create little pockets of restorative self care / relaxation.

I now do it by buying supermarket flowers (& very occasionally nice florist ones) in a couple of rooms. Trying to keep on top of housework midweek so when we come in after work the house is not in chaos. Nice scented candles & proper good food.
Real coffee in the mornings. Still surrounded by books!

I don't always succeed but they're the intentions!

I wish you well Op & hope you refind your peace & joy

Thanks for all the care all.
I don't really know what's going on with me. First I'm 47 so I don't know how much is hormones and menopause. Secondly, 2 years ago I lost a friend to suicide and my relationship broke up both in an 8 week period. Then lockdown etc, also both my parents died in the last 8 years too so it's been a slash and burn of loss really. I'm successful at work and love it, have started Internet dating. I'm struggling with loneliness or probably, more realistically my perception of loneliness. This weekend I'm meeting up with 3 seperate friends for example. But I still feel lonely. I'm living in the house I shared with ex so once I move, that might help. I honestly feel up and down though, some days low, some days I have some hope. I have therapy regularly so I feel like I am working on it and I am very much better than 2 years ago when I was in a very dark place. Ugh I have also got to the point of annoying myself. I just want to feel better!

Having one this morning. Sitting in the sun. It's a lovely October day.

You've been through an enormous amount OP - it's no wonder you're reeling a bit.
I think you should be ultra kind to yourself. Maybe practice not thinking negative things about your situation - like I'm annoying myself etc' but try to treat / think of yourself the way you would a stressed / traumatised loved one. With kindness & compassion.

Do little things for yourself. You're meeting friends you say so before you go out leave your place in way that might make you feel glad to be back home. As you say - mug by the kettle, kettle filled, lamp on, sitting room primed for use - tidy & inviting, glass of wine in the fridge if that's your thing.

Congratulate yourself on coming through all that you have. That's not nothing & you're still here!

What a beauty.

Tea
Books
Podcasts
Electric over blanket on the sofa
Strictly and a glass of fizz
Crappy supernatural films on Netflix