I have been asked to host a party for a friend in my house while 9 months pregnant

[BrinaEds]

AIBU, I have been asked by a close friend to host a party in my house for them. I'll be 9 months pregnant by the day of the party and I'm already tired all the time but I don't feel like I can say no. I would have thought that some consideration would have been given to the fact I'm pregnant before they even asked but they recently did helped me out with something which they pushed to do but was helpful (nothing on this scale) so now I feel obliged. My main concern about the whole thing is having a bunch of strangers in my house (20-30 people), the possibility of picking up a cold/flu and the deep clean that will have to happen after the event because tidying is not the same as cleaning. DH says he will manage the day and sort out all the cleaning after but I just don't feel comfortable with the whole thing. AIBU?

Absolutely say No. Extremely@ inconsiderate of your ‘friend’ to even ask you. It’s no joke being 9 months pregnant, you may even deliver early. Be assertive.

Let them go ahead and book yourself into a hotel. Or you could be in hospital having the baby! Your ILs and DH are awful.

Hell no

What happens if you are in labour or the baby has already come? Definitely saying it is not possible because you will be 9 months pregnant is reasonable. They can hire a hall, have it theirs or if you feel you must host do it in 6.months time or something

Just say no as it's around your due date so will either be heavily pregnant or have a newborn or even be in hospital so she will have to have it somewhere else and u most likely won't even be able to attend at all

OP you need to be stronger for you and your baby. None of this weak ‘I don’t think it’s a good idea’. Try ‘no we aren’t having a party here’.

repeat.

then go with ‘I am nearly full term and this stress you are putting me under is bad for the baby and my labour - please don’t put us at risk’

Then go back to no.

no alternatives no offer of other help, just a polite no. And whatever you are doing in life right now at 37 weeks pregnant scale it right back , you need to get your energy stores up and stress levels down.

No, don't do it, that's ridiculous.

(Although I think not wanting to catch a cold is not a good reason).

No. Just no.

I genuinely can't believe how incredibly stupid your DH and ILs are being.

You could go into labour at any point.

They need an alternative venue or delay the party - those are their options

No sugarcoating.
No lies about what 'the midwife' says.

Just a simple "No, I'll be nine months pregnant or have a newborn. You will have to have your [whatever sort of ] party somewhere else."

If they are the sort of CFs they sound like, they may offer to 'swap homes' for a couple/few days out of 'consideration' for you or as a 'compromise'.

Again, this is a straightforward 'no' you want to be at home with your newborn/or return to your own home with your baby.

I'm afraid I wholly agree with pp's who say the fact your husband is unwilling to stand up for you/your baby's wellbeing is a massive red-flag. Sorry, but it is.

Fuck that for a laugh.

If this party has to happen, you either need to find a friend who’s sofa you can sit on or spend the entire duration of the party, including set up and clear up, on the sofa in your dressing gown.

Your husband hasn’t learned yet that listening to his wife is going to benefit him more than listening to his mother. Make sure he doesn’t miss this opportunity.

Agree don't give any reason other than a NO. These people are just thick and stupid. Who actually does this? Don't make up reasons, you need to start standing up to these people especially with the baby on the way. They seem to be the type who will try this nonsense when the baby is here, so better start making your boundaries clear.

Nothing and nobody should be more important to your DH than you and your baby's health and comfort at this moment in time. That's all there is to it. If he has other priorities then he is failing at fatherhood before he's even started.
Bit bold to assume you will still be pregnant by then. I've had 3 babies and only ever made it as far as 37 weeks. Babies have their own plans and no regard whatsoever for other people's.

Tell them a straight no. You wouldn't want to cancel last minute if you went into labour and also you wouldn't want a house full of strangers if baby arrived early.

they recently did helped me out with something which they pushed to do but was helpful (nothing on this scale) so now I feel obliged

This was their plan. Just say no. They're a CF.

If it’s the in laws tell your husband he can book you (and pay for) a night in a luxury spa hotel and he can manage the party and all the cleaning afterwards 👌🏻

Just tell them, due to your pregnancy your priorities have to be your baby and immediate family so it would not be appropriate for you to commit.

Any person with an ounce of decency would understand you HAVE to put your child and yourself first.

What if the baby arrives early? Will the party still go ahead?

I agree, I mean WTF. You just say no, it worries me how many people pleasers really are out there 😱

Is this for real is your dh always like this-i cant belive they all think this is feasible and a good thing to do to ask someone whose 9 months pregnant to cater and host a party

are your ils always so pushy-your dh is a knob if he insists on this

Ask them what their backup plan is in case you are in labour or already have the baby by the day of the party. And then ask them why they can't just do that. Including your DH.

Take my advice and put your foot down firmly right now!! The cheek of them!! They will be worse, trust me, when the baby arrives! You need to set firm boundaries and your DH needs to support you. What a ridiculous, stupid thing to ask of a heavily pregnant woman!

Just say no! Sounds like they'd be doing you a favour if they took the huff over it.

You might not be 9 months pregnant but a Mum with a two week old baby! Or, you may be in labour!

Poor timing but great excuse to say no! Which is the sensible option

Zero chance of me saying yes! It’s pretty unreasonable for them to ask this. Just say no, it’s not wise given bugs etc. and you’ll likely be too exhausted.

This, I'm very sorry to say.

Not sure what you can say to make him see it from your point of view. Sounds as if he is stuck in fear, uncertainty and doubt .... his parents have always expected him to go along with whatever they want.

I'd encourage you to put it to him that he loyalty should now be to his wife and his as yet unborn child.

Let him find another solution. As a parent, start as you mean to go on.

I would say no to that and I'm not even pregnant. Yanbu.