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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What's the single best piece of advice you ever received?

189 replies

HermoineJeanGranger · 04/10/2022 05:21

Just that really!
Would love to know the best little pearls of wisdom you've been given : )

OP posts:
ReeseWitherfork · 04/10/2022 05:26

Don’t eat yellow snow.

But in all seriousness, the one that sticks with me is “the grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it”. “You can’t stop the waves from coming but you can learn how to surf” them also helps.

Sorry it sounds like I’m writing motivational posters.

The sunscreen song is generally worth listening to if I’m in a rut! Great advice there.

PicaK · 04/10/2022 05:27

Maintain a "life" CV as well as a work one. So you can check/monitor that you are getting a work/life balance and take as much pride in your achievements outside of work as in it.
I'd just been made redundant and thought the world was ending and it was good advice.

Penners99 · 04/10/2022 05:28

Don’t get married

OldYork · 04/10/2022 05:35

Things are at their most difficult just before you are about to succeed.

I have found this to be true…I’ve been through some dreadful times where I’ve really wondered what the hell am I doing and felt on the edge of despair. But every time , something really amazing has come out of that suffering that has made me stronger, more resilient and helped me move on to better things. When I start to recognise the the feelings of despair approaching, I now concentrate on…ok…in 6 months/12 months/ 2 years from now going to be in a much better place and this painful time will be a memory that helps keep me grounded.

Hearthnhome · 04/10/2022 05:44

My Nana gave me a few.

’real wisdom is learning to know when to fight for something and when to let it go’

’You should learn to be at peace with things you can’t change.’

’Remember that marriage is a legal and financial contract, not just an expression of love’

‘worrying about something doesn’t improve the outcome. If you are worrying about something, spend that energy trying to find a resolution’

Shoxfordian · 04/10/2022 05:46

Don’t worry about things you can’t change

This too shall pass

IWillBeWaxingAnOwl · 04/10/2022 05:50

Similar to that @Shoxfordian my nana used to say "if you're going through hell you keep going". She also said "good or bad, everything ends" eg appreciate the good things and know the bad things don't last forever

BearFacedCheekGrylls · 04/10/2022 05:51

I wasn’t given this but worked it out after leaving an abusive relationship: ‘if the only thing that is stopping you from doing something is fear, then you have to do the thing.’

oldestmumaintheworld · 04/10/2022 05:54

As a parent struggling with a difficult child who I found hard to handle a kind relative told me 'Your job is to be in charge. Your job is not to make your child happy.' The relief was enormous. It gave me the permission I needed and helped a great deal.

maddy68 · 04/10/2022 05:56

Say yes to everything. Don't think about it.

That has taken me all over the world, had amazing experiences , got me into a lot of trouble :). But I have had the best life

tulippa · 04/10/2022 05:57

Don't let anyone photograph you naked.

Shutitwierdo · 04/10/2022 06:00

When I had my ds I didn't sleep for longer than 20 mins a day for 6 days and I was really ill. everyone kept saying you just need to sleep. My dm said rest your body if you sleep you sleep. Took all the pressure off to sleep and I finally slept. I never tell people to sleep it's always rest now

Trumpton · 04/10/2022 06:01

Don’t spoil today thinking about tomorrow. Today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present.

And from my daughter when I was diagnosed with breast cancer the most beautiful little hand painted wooden slice. “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For This Shit” with tiny delicate flowers obscuring most of the last word.

Keep On Keeping On.

FiveShelties · 04/10/2022 06:02

Don't be financially dependent on anyone.

And when I found out I could not have children my Gran said 'life can be good without children, you just have to make it so'. She was right, took me a while to realise that though.

sarahc336 · 04/10/2022 06:10

Always listen and trust your gut instict it's always right. If it doesn't feel right then it's not right. I was told that when I worked in a prison and in always remember it x

Woodsparrow · 04/10/2022 06:14

Very few people actually give a shit about you.

It probably sounds mean but it isn't. When I think about that I actually feel much more relaxed and don't worry about others and what they think

nonstoprenovation · 04/10/2022 06:18

Hearthnhome · 04/10/2022 05:44

My Nana gave me a few.

’real wisdom is learning to know when to fight for something and when to let it go’

’You should learn to be at peace with things you can’t change.’

’Remember that marriage is a legal and financial contract, not just an expression of love’

‘worrying about something doesn’t improve the outcome. If you are worrying about something, spend that energy trying to find a resolution’

All great advice.

PorridgePowered · 04/10/2022 06:21

Ask: will this matter a year from now?

Be kind. Be honest. Be brave.

KangarooKenny · 04/10/2022 06:26

If you don’t want to, just say no.

Tilda77 · 04/10/2022 06:46

As a teenager I worked in a shop. An elderly gentleman customer said to me one day "never have a relationship with someone who has been married before or already has children " It has always stuck in my mind and I wish I'd taken his advice. He was obviously speaking from experience

RoachTheHorse · 04/10/2022 06:49

"It's ok to say no."

But equally

"Say yes to new things"

peachykeenjellybean1981 · 04/10/2022 06:50

Grass appears greener on the other side because it's fertilised with shit.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 04/10/2022 06:52

I'm really getting on a but. I have no single piece of advice!!

Nobody has written a book about you and your baby (HV)

Never be financially dependent on anyone else (DM)

Don't spend more than 1/3 of your income on mortgage/rent (DM)

Don't do something you love for a living, it will become a chore, and you'll no longer love it. But do find something you enjoy (my late, great dad).

Whatever your child is doing, good or bad, it's just a phase. Don't get too despondent or too complacent. (Woman I met at a navy group the first time I left the house alone with a baby).

Be yourself - my old boss/now very senior manager in a large organisation, when I bumped into him the day before an interview for a job I really wanted. I got the job.

Take it. It's not your first choice, but you need to move on. No one will care what your A level results are by Christmas (my head of 6th form; I had a difficult home life).

And I'm not at all religious or very spiritual,,but DM has the Serenity Prayer on the wall by her bed, which I rather like:

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, 
courage to change the things I can, 
and wisdom to know the difference.

MissST123 · 04/10/2022 07:00

Accept the things you cannot change.

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/10/2022 07:04

Never allow yourself to be financially dependent on a man.

Dont waste energy worrying about what people think about you: you have no control over it anyway and not caring will liberate you.

Say yes to everything unless it will hurt you or damage your health.