What's the single best piece of advice you ever received?

[HermoineJeanGranger]

Just that really!
Would love to know the best little pearls of wisdom you've been given : )

Always show care, even if those around you dont.

This, too, will pass.

Never, ever, ever look back. Only look to the future.

Don't assume that women are the fairer sex.

I was given this advice by another woman at my first Saturday job at age 16. Our boss was a nasty power crazed bitch from hell who made Joan Crawford look like a nice person.

Subsequently over my career, my experience with female bosses hasn't been great, and this piece of advice has always stayed in the back of my mind. Given the choice I'd rather work for a man than a woman as they don't seem to go in for underhanded passive aggression in the same way.

I read this morning that Liz Truss is intending to make benefit cuts (which will hurt the poorest in our society the most) and suddenly I thought of this advice again. It popped into my head. Maybe that's why I'm writing it.

I think the assumption that women are kinder and more just than men doesn't necessarily hold true. It's a stereotype based on the caring mother image. They'll always be shit people, and sometimes it will be those you least expect.

You can’t control other people.

A bit cliche I know but….Life is like riding a bike, in order to keep your balance you need to keep on moving.

My great aunt born about 1905.

‘one day you’ll be an old bag like me, you may as well be a comfortable (financially) old bag’

Your best friend is a few pound in the bank!

my lovely Grandad used to say this all the time & he was right!

If you’re in a room - BE in the room. Don’t have your mind elsewhere.

No one is looking at you, they’re more worried about themselves.

When someone tells you who they are, listen and believe them - don’t think you can change them.

Be very selective about the person you have children with. You’re tied to them forever. Establish as much common ground as you can before you have them.

Never give up financial independence.

Don’t criticise you friends / family member’s partner (unless abuse is involved) no matter how much they are as they will remember what you say once they are back together and it may then backfire on you.

Times goes fast, make the most of it. Said by my 101 year old great auntie, she used to say she would catch a glimpse of her reflection and think whose that old last staring back at me. Claimed she still felt mentally 21.

Put your child in a bright coloured top, that way you can sit in the cafe in peace with a cup of tea and always be able to see them

Money doesn't buy happiness... but the lack of it can cause one hell of a lot of misery.

Good advice but I would rephrase by saying that it is not your job to be popular with your children. Eventually being in charge will be the thing that makes them happy so I wouldn't say that you job isn't to make them happy long term.

My current favourite saying (especially when my ds is kicking off and I’m remembering my fertility struggles):

Remember that once you dreamed of being where you are now

Agree with the sentiment of:

most people don’t care about you

Again not negative but more not to worry about what others think because they probably don’t care!

The baby can't roll off the floor.

Sounds ridiculously simple, but I had post natal anxiety and was terrified of leaving him anywhere while I got stuff done. It was such a relief!

Every problem has a solution

'sometimes in life we all have to dig deep and find that inner strength we never knew we had. This is one of those times. '

Doesn't sound that profound but it came from someone I least expected it to come from at a time when I was feeling really low.

So when a smelly yob asks you for sex you say yes? What a bloody stupid saying

By the way could you jump off a cliff for me?

Always label food when you put it in the freezer. Once it's frozen it can be hard to tell if it's chilli con carne, bolognese or beef tagine. Especially if you wrap stuff in aluminium foil first!

As a single parent trying to juggle everyone’s wishes, with a scarily antagonistic dominating Exes family and Ex being a bully, trying to also care for my mother, demanding work plus full time caring, child with severe disabilities…

I was a capable person but I think I was on the brink of falling apart and my kids would have tumbled down with me.

I was advised to centre everything around me and my kids, what’s good for us, what’s good for the kids.
And draw a big circle around it to protect that and fuck anyone else! Just plod ahead having strength that my way is the best way.

As a fairly unselfish person who wants to be fair, it was great advice. Transformed me and my kids lives. Exes horrible family members faded away. I ignored all game playing and provocative behaviour. Insisted any contact with my kids was in a way that was beneficial for them and rigidly stuck to it. Ignored all Exes provocation. Now he’s become a much better father and says he really respects and values my parenting of his kids. Kids are thriving and happy. Win win!

Don’t take shit from anyone!

Every morning, scream your dreams into a rubbish bin where they belong.

3 days after having a baby, my (now ex) SIL told me ‘remember, you’re not just a mum, you’re also a person. Don’t lose your identity’.

I hated her, so dismissed this advice completely. It was only some years later that I realised how right she was.

"You aren't paid enough to worry about that."

As a fresh graduate, I took an admin job at my local DVLA office. And to my surprise, it's actually quite a complicated job. There are a LOT of systems, and things had to be done "just so" - after all, these are legal documents. I really struggled to keep all the systems straight in my head, and would go home and worry over the evenings and weekends as to whether I'd done stuff correctly.

One lunch time, I confided in an older, friendly colleague, who just shrugged, and said "you aren't paid enough to worry about that." In other words, "don't worry above your pay grade."

Honestly, it changed my perception of work for the better. I think of that colleague and that comment OFTEN.