To think one of each isn't that amazing?

[CarsonViolet]

So I recently had my first child, a son, and DH and I are likely going to start trying to conceive our next when he's 1 as we'd like them to be close in age (also to just get the baby/toddlers years over with quicker). Our families and some close friends know this and have been quick to make the standard "let's hope for a girl" "bet you want a girl" comments.

Anyone else honestly prefer the idea of having same sex siblings to a mixture? Anecdotally, based on my own experiences with my siblings and from what I've seen from my friend's children, I just feel that my kids will get on better/ be closer if they're same sex (in my case two boys). Not to mention there's more opportunity to reuse clothes, toys etc They also probably be more likely to have shared interests so no arguments on what we're doing/where we're going for family days out and stuff

I'm aware this absolutely wont be the case for everyone but I've just never seen the appeal on one of each. I always knew I wanted two kids and I always had a preference for either two boys or two girls.

Anyone else feel this way?

I had a girl followed by a boy and people used to say "oh that's so great, you can stop now". So odd. I didn't stop and have 3 and they're all so much more than boy or girl.

I agree with you, I have a boy and pregnant with my second and people keep saying am I wishing for a girl but actually my preference would be another boy

There's pros and cons to every set up.

I slightly wished for a second DD, just so we could use all the same stuff, and it would be familiar.

But DC2 is a boy, and we are immensely grateful for him, as he took a while to conceive! Pros include experiencing raising the opposite sex, seeing a small version of DH, less rivalry (maybe?)

I honestly don’t think it matters at all and that it’s the personalities and the parenting that have the biggest impact on sibling relationships. I have BGB - they are all close, the boys don’t get on any better with each other than they do with dd. They have all shared toys and clothes too - if you don’t stereotype children based on their sex then none of that matters.

I wanted a second girl (obligatory 'the most important thing is they were healthy' caveat) personally. It's just something for people to say though isn't it? A sort of hackneyed small talk.

DH has a brother who he hasn't talked to in several years.

I have a brother who is one of my best friends.

Its personality not sex.

As per weight loss thread, people say thoughtless stuff ALL THE TIME.

I'd call them out. 'Why would you say that? That seems an unusual comment to make', etc etc. whilst rolling your eyes.

I knew very early that l was pregnant with twins. I had the 'oh let's hope it's one of each'. I thought it would be better to have two boys or two girls, especially as there is 18 months between my brother and I and we have never got on. Low an behold I had one of each ..... And delighted of course, just as I would have been with two the same.

I didn’t realise it was a thing until I had one of each. It’s insane the number of strangers who mentioned it.
The only advantage of it is getting to see the difference in socialisation between girls and boys firsthand.

I don't think it matters either! We have 2 girls, and another girl on the way, and everyone keeps saying "ooh you'll have to try for baby number 4 next year and hope it's a boy". Neither me or my partner cared less whether this baby was another girl or a boy, as long as baby was healthy 😁 and if we do decide to have a 4th (probably wont, I am so done), it won't be because we are "trying for a boy" 😅

I hate this sort of stuff - I'm pregnant with my second, DD will be just shy of two when baby is born and already I've had the "oh hope it's a boy so one of each!" Primarily I want a healthy baby, DD was a traumatic birth, had an injury as a result and we had a NICU stay after. But after that: I want another girl! Yes because sisters etc hope they'll be close and friends etc but also... Because then we'll have to buy practically f*ck all new and we have an entire wardrobe ready to go from birth. It's just more economical 🤣

I am one of a 'one of each' pair and we were very close. I have 2 girls and they are close (and hate each other too).

My dh actively wanted 2 the same. He didnt care what they were, just wanted the same.

Yanbu

My neighbour has 3 daughters and he loves it and has said on many occasions that he wouldn't have it any other way.

I have both but don't think it's the Holy Grail that some people think. My dd doesn't represent the experience of raising all girls- she is an individual that happened to be assigned to me (another individual) and the circumstances of her life and upbringing are different to all other girls.

It is the smug ones who get me, "I am so privileged to have one of each " like you have any say in it at all or you have done something super clever!
Sheer chance and we love 'em all .

My mum is one of eight, and the only one to have one of each. Everyone else has exclusively boys or girls. So we're the anomalies in our family.
Me and my brother get on great, but seem to have a very different relationship to the one the same sex siblings have. It's both a bit more relaxed and chill but not quite as close.
We've got each others back but it's more banter and in jokes and less emotional support and propping up from what I can see of my cousin's siblings relationships.

This, by Twisted Doodles

I have one of each. It was nice to experience one of each, otherwise I would have always wondered.

It would also have been nice to use old clothes for the younger child as it would have been cheaper. My DD was a frilly pink Princess.

I have one of each. It's like having 2 only children. Or non sibling cats. They rarely played together as kids, much to dd's dismay. She has made her family with her friends. Ds is happy alone.

I strongly felt this way, too. I have two boys and am thrilled. Had I had a girl first, I would have wanted another girl.

I have a DD and if I'm honest would want a second DD
If I'd had a boy first I'd have wanted two boys.

I worry I'll feel gender disappointment if I am fortunate enough to have another

I think probably because I'm so close to my sister I wanted two of the same, even though I know it doesn't matter as long as they're healthy!

We have 1 of each and expecting another DD, but it never bothered us either way what sex baby was, it's bloody annoying though when people say it and all you're thinking is ' just let it be healthy!' 😢

I have two boys, less than 2 years apart... they HATE each other and fight all the time! Widely different tastes so planning days out gets both annoyed

They are happy and healthy so I'm still blessed!

You can't decide what you get so just relax and what will be will be!

Gosh no. I wanted one of each and got them.. and then had more anyway

I’m close to my brother but I do think it’s easier for same sex siblings to do things together. It’s unfair but I have friends who go on holiday, weekends away with their sisters but I’ve not really been able to experience that with my brother.

I’d love a girl after DS, but my husband is one of two boys and his brother has two boys and we have a boy so I think I’m destined to have boys!

I have both and consider myself very fortunate. But no doubt i would if I had all daughters or all sons, if they were as great as my (now adult) children are. Whatever you have, that's your family and you don't know any different, so (hopefully!) will think its amazing. I think your child's sex matters far less than their personality in terms of family dynamics. My mixed sex DC were great friends throughout childhood, and still are.