To think one of each isn't that amazing?

[CarsonViolet]

So I recently had my first child, a son, and DH and I are likely going to start trying to conceive our next when he's 1 as we'd like them to be close in age (also to just get the baby/toddlers years over with quicker). Our families and some close friends know this and have been quick to make the standard "let's hope for a girl" "bet you want a girl" comments.

Anyone else honestly prefer the idea of having same sex siblings to a mixture? Anecdotally, based on my own experiences with my siblings and from what I've seen from my friend's children, I just feel that my kids will get on better/ be closer if they're same sex (in my case two boys). Not to mention there's more opportunity to reuse clothes, toys etc They also probably be more likely to have shared interests so no arguments on what we're doing/where we're going for family days out and stuff

I'm aware this absolutely wont be the case for everyone but I've just never seen the appeal on one of each. I always knew I wanted two kids and I always had a preference for either two boys or two girls.

Anyone else feel this way?

I’ve got one of each thank goodness. Both have autism I’m not sure I could have managed a double dose of either of them tbh. Saying that they were both runners when they were little. My so was the worse though.

All situations are different and of course there will be exceptions but in general I think it's nice for the parents to have one of each but for the kids to be the same sex.

I have all one sex and though there's arguments they have a bond and a real understanding of each other. You can see now that there will be an easy friendship when they're older and I think they are so lucky. I had a brother and although close to him, wish I'd had a sister!

I always wanted 3 boys. Got 2 DSS. I have a dsd and she has 3 boys. I have 5 boys now 🙂. My sons are close but very different personalities. Dsgss are very close. Baby dgs is adored by his brothers.
Someone I know, after having her 3rd son, got a card saying better luck next time!

I do find the ‘one of each is ideal’ a weird things but.

I know many women in my mums generation who had more kids than they planned to have a child of a different sex. My aunt had 4, in pursuit to get a girl and openly admits she would have stopped at 2 if her second had been a girl and would have had a 5th if the 4th had been a boy.

My dads sister was openly nasty to my parents for getting one of each. She had 3 girls. Mum and Dad just had me and my brother. 4 years apart. We are and always have been close.

I had dd first then 6 years later got pregnant again, I was having a boy. Honestly, I didn’t care either way. I saw advantages to both. A woman at work, was openly hostile to me when I told my colleagues that I was having a boy. Constant ‘it could be wrong it could be a girl’ with a look of distain on her face. I picked a name and it was ‘so what happens when it’s born a girl’ and wasn’t happy with my response of ‘well that name has a well known female version so it will be that’ . It got to the point that someone else told her to shut up.

So I do believe that ‘one of each’ seems to be some peoples ideal.

I do think it’s weird to think that will be close based on sex though. I know loads of people with mixed sex kids and same sex kids. The sex of the kids doesn’t show a pattern.

My Sister in law has 2 girls, 2 years apart who have never got on since the youngest was about 2. My brother has a big and a girl that are 15 month part that really don’t get on. My kids are one of each almost 7 years apart and are super close. Dd just moved away to Uni, ds misses her more than I do. She is contact with him more. She comes home to see him, takes him out for the day and treats him to lunch. She messages him at least once a day to see how school was or how his weekend has been. Her closest friends include him in things they are all doing, where they can.

That’s how me and dbro grew up. His friends became mine and Vice versa. When mum died last year, all dbros long term friends and their partners. got in touch with me personally. Came to see me not just dbro. They are all men. So I don’t find ‘well they are more likely to friends with the same sex so won’t be in the same groups’ doesn’t work either. Dbro married one of my friends.

Dbro is 4 years older than me and his friends grew up with us both. One knew dbro before I was born so known me my whole life. The rest have known me since I was 7. They were at our house a lot when we were young so I think that influenced it.

My dp is the only boy in a family of 5. He is the only one that speaks to all his 4 sisters. All the sisters don’t speak to at least one of the other sisters and it’s always been like that.

Its personality. Upbringing can influence it as well. So I don’t think one of each is ideal, I don’t think multiples of the same sex gives a chance of a better relationship, on its own, either.

I’ve got one of each and always hated it when people told me how lucky I am. I am lucky, but not because of their genders but the great kids they are.

I will be honest, I had a girl first and wanted another girl. I think particularly because of the relationship I have with my sister and the lack of one my husband has with his.

My third DS is 5 weeks old and I've already had a few people asking if I'll "try again" for a girl.
Considering DS2 was stillborn* and I nearly died, I'm immensely grateful that DS3 and I are both here and healthy and not of a mind to chance my luck again for one thing.
For another thing, I resent so much the idea that my hat trick of beautiful boys is somehow less than because they don't have a vagina between them.
Even my darling mother in law said if I had another it would probably "just" be another boy. There is nothing "just" about any of my sons thank you very much.

*Also comments when I was pregnant with DS3 about how I must hope it's a girl this time as "it's nice to have one of each" as if a) I didn't already have 2 sons so the "one of each" ship had sailed and b) as if a woman whose last child was born dead would be even vaguely concerned about whether the next was a boy or girl

I've got 2 girls then a boy with 8 years between each one. When I had my first girl all I wanted was girls and used to say that if I had six children I'd still want them to be girls, although I knew having a boy would also be good and had it's benefits. My son is now 11 and I think I might like boys best on the whole as I find other peoples girls a bit bratty. I have no time for the falling out that girls tend to do. In short I think I like best the current sex that I'm mostly dealing with!

I was the same, when pregnant with my second I hoped for another boy for my son's sake. Was very happy still when we found out we were having a girl.
Mine are very different which makes it hard for days out, but I don't think either fall into complete stereotypical boy/girl interests. Even if you had 2 boys they may not be into the same things.
My 13yo boy loves museums, theatre shows, castles and theme parks. My 11yo daughter hates all of these and wants to do active things like rock climbing, paddle boarding or roller skating.

We have quite a big gap (4.5 years) between DD and DS. I worried about the gap and then about the gender difference as I worried they wouldn't be close. DD is now nearly 14, they are best of friends (mostly!) and DD calls DS her shadow.

All about personality and them as individuals - they both bring joy (and challenge!) in different ways.

I just feel it's irrelevant really. They are so much more than "a boy" or "a girl". You could have 2 boys or 2 girls with wildly different personalities. I have 2 brothers and we've always been very close and have (in my opinion) almost identical personalities and mannerisms. Who knows, if I had a sister we might have been polar opposites. I think personality is more important than genitals and you never know what you're going to get in terms of personality! It's like a big a lottery.

Just wait until you have a boy and a girl and people assume your 3rd is a "happy accident " because why would you possibly want to change the balance. Loved putting mil right on that score after she'd told nearly everyone she knew

I thought exactly like you and so wanted number 2 to be the sane sex, especially as there were to be 3 years apart.

Number turned out to be the opposite sex, and I came around the idea. As it is, they were the closest siblings growing up amongst all their friends and my friends kids! Ironically, not so much so now they are adults!

We can never predict how our children are going to be like. We have to go with the flow and just adjust accordingly.

I would have thought that whatever you actually have is what is amazing.

If you won't be happy with whatever you get,you shouldn;t have one.

I have a boy and a girl with the same age gap. Same experience as you - he's been besotted with her since day 1. I was worried he would be jealous but they're so lovely together. Does my heart good to see how much they love each other

I'm from a family of only sisters, and husband is only brothers. I have a DD and would prefer another girl - more possibility to reuse (although we didnt find gender out first time so up until she was one she wore mainly in unisex clothes), similar interests (this might be a gendered stereotype but based on my DH and I's childhoods we had very different play habits). My family has a lot a girls so its my comfort zone as well. I know first time round I really did want a little girl but next time I think I will be more relaxed about the gender either way. Also dont think same gender are the only basis for closeness, dynamics, geographic location (as adults), personality types have a much greater bearing in my view.

Each to their own, so YANBU. If I had a choice, I'd want two boys or boy and a girl. I have a sister and I think it's not that great or maybe it's just us 🙄