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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to leave my 10 YO old to watch her 7 YO for an hour

109 replies

carrotismyname · 03/10/2022 11:42

Posting here for traffic. I really can't remember how old I was when I was left with my older sibling. I'm a single parent and would love to do exercise classes around the corner from where I live but I am unsure what is legal, so would love some feedback.

10.5 YO daughter mature and smart and has been left alone for short times when i've nipped to the local shop. She has an ipad, which she calls off.

7.5 YO son who generally listens to sister, but I do worry if they fall out if I leave them alone.

I'm thinking maybe its another year or so off, but I am curious to what other parents do.

OP posts:
Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 03/10/2022 14:38

Personally I think they’re a little too young. In another year or 2 maybe.

can they come with you and sit in the corner with their IPad and head phones?

CoastalWave · 03/10/2022 14:40

babyyodaxmas · 03/10/2022 12:41

I am not proud of this but I left my yr6 (april born) and yr3 (Oct born) home alone for about an hour every Monday as there was a gap from ASC finishing and me getting home. I was driving for all of that time and had them on speaker phone for most of it the first few times. Same year we occasionally left them in front of the TV at 7:30 am, (school bus came at 8:15 ) if we both had 9am meetings.

Same.

TBH I have to sometimes leave mine alone for up to an hour- as work crosses over. It's either that or we lose £250 a month.

Having said that, I don't think it's the same as leaving them because you're going to a gym class. I wouldn't actually do that. I leave them because I have no other option but to earn the money. I wouldn't leave them to go off and have fun time of my own (if that makes sense)

TabithaTittlemouse · 03/10/2022 14:41

I’m glad that you’ve decided to wait. It’s just not worth it.

Could you get them involved in exercise? Go for a run together? Long walks? Swimming?
Do you have a gym nearby that does children’s classes?

ReeDeeHee · 03/10/2022 14:48

I don't think the 10 y/o is near old enough to be solely responsible for a younger sibling in any way. So if you would not be happy leaving the 7 y/o completely alone, don't leave them with the 10 y/o.

Hollyhead · 03/10/2022 14:52

My 10 year old stays at home alone for up to 1-2 hours. I also have a nearly 8 year old, who I wouldn’t leave with him, although I think we’re at the stage where I might leave them together on their own for 5 minutes to post a letter or something.

Thinkbiglittleone · 03/10/2022 15:10

I don't think siblings of that age should be responsible for one an other. So i wouldn't leave them now or for a good few years yet.

tea1tea2 · 03/10/2022 15:17

tottally agree , worst thing to worry about if they choke on food etc

tea1tea2 · 03/10/2022 15:18

posted too soon . i mean agree on the fact that they are too young

Zingy123 · 03/10/2022 15:19

Far too young to be left.

mountainsunsets · 03/10/2022 15:23

Cillery · 03/10/2022 14:16

Unless the law has changed it is not giving due care.

Show quote history

The law doesn't give a legal age limit. There is guidance but no limit set in law - and for good reason.

Stag82 · 03/10/2022 15:36

I have a soon to be 11 year old and an 8 year old and I wouldn’t do it. I don’t think it’s fair on my older kid to take on that responsibility. Will start leaving him on his own when he is 10.

Dalaidramailama · 03/10/2022 15:42

Its too young in my opinion. I also have a 10 year old DD and a 7 year old son and wouldn’t do this.

I do however leave my 7 year old with my 12 year old alone for short periods. He’s at secondary school.

LemonDrizzles · 03/10/2022 15:43

Depends on the older child, younger child and their relationship

Pushyoupullme · 03/10/2022 15:47

10 year old on their own, having already practiced being on their own for a while for shorter periods and what to do regarding emergencies, with nice neighbours who you know, and you genuinely literally round the corner, depending on the 10 year old. Maybe. Borderline.

10 year old looking after younger sibling? No.

It's not illegal, but you will be held responsible if anything happens to them and would have that on your conscience as well. And it does happen, think about those little boys (4 of them I think) a while back, who died in a house fire. Yes they were younger but can a 10 year old really deal with that responsibility on another younger child's account, discipline them, keep them from harm, get them to do what they are told in an emergency?

High5InALowRide · 03/10/2022 16:46

I personally wouldn't simply because of the younger one but I am starting to leave my 9yo at home alone for 30 mins when I drop his brother to school so I think only you can judge thr maturity of both kids

genuinelyaskingforafriend · 03/10/2022 16:49

Cillery · 03/10/2022 12:55

Quite simply it is illegal to leave kids that age on their own. If anything happened you would be in trouble

No it's not.

It might be wrong ethically but it's not illegal.

womaninatightspot · 03/10/2022 16:53

I have 4 dc 12 and soon to be 10 can be left for a couple of hours happily. Twin 7yo are a bit young will reevaluate in March when they are 8. When I was 11 I used to babysit for 3 children including a 1yo.

ShimmyYaYaYay · 03/10/2022 21:12

That's a bit too long at that age.

It will turn into 1.5 hours.
5 minutes to walk there 5 minutes setup and classes rarely finish bang on time. So another few minutes to sanitise equipment and walk back home.

You probably won't answer your phone either if you are in the swing of it.

Any trusted neighbours/creche?

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 04/10/2022 06:46

Can't they go to the gym with you? (and each take a book, or ipad, with them?)
Not to accompany you into the room where the class is, but wait for you in the hall or around the entrance area? That way, if anything happens, you are very close by. If the 7 yo can cope with that, you might end up letting the older child stay at home alone in future...

Vikinga · 04/10/2022 06:52

Leaving them on their own for a few hours at 11 is fine, for babysitting I'd say 13.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 04/10/2022 06:57

Mine are 11 and 9, 12 and 10 in Feb. I leave them to go to the local shop about 5 mins away but wouldn't leave them longer incase they decided to fall out

The longest I've left the 11 year old is for 2 hours the other day while I had dgd as he didn't want to come

sorrynotathome · 04/10/2022 06:59

From NSPCC website:

”While every child is different, we wouldn't recommend leaving a child under 12 years old home alone, particularly for longer periods of time.”

JustDanceAddict · 04/10/2022 07:00

Absolutely would not.
i would leave a 10.5 year old fit half hour max on their own - it’s what I did when I had to pick their sibling up and then it progressed to longer etc.
dud not leave both alone until 13 & 11 (but closer to 14 & 12) for an evening or during the day. The eldest was fine home alone from 12 for any length of time but it took longer to leave the youngest.

babyyodaxmas · 04/10/2022 07:07

sorrynotathome · 04/10/2022 06:59

From NSPCC website:

”While every child is different, we wouldn't recommend leaving a child under 12 years old home alone, particularly for longer periods of time.”

I guess it depends on what longer periods are.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 04/10/2022 07:09

Well I'm going to have to leave the 11 year old for an hour once a week when I start working regardless of what the nspcc say. There's no childcare for secondary school children around here . I'm pretty sure he's not the only one

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