AIBU to leave my 10 YO old to watch her 7 YO for an hour

[carrotismyname]

Posting here for traffic. I really can't remember how old I was when I was left with my older sibling. I'm a single parent and would love to do exercise classes around the corner from where I live but I am unsure what is legal, so would love some feedback.

10.5 YO daughter mature and smart and has been left alone for short times when i've nipped to the local shop. She has an ipad, which she calls off.

7.5 YO son who generally listens to sister, but I do worry if they fall out if I leave them alone.

I'm thinking maybe its another year or so off, but I am curious to what other parents do.

I leave my 11year old with my 9 year old now to pop to the shop but that’s about 15 mins.

I probably wouldn’t leave for a whole hour until 13/11

7 is too young to be left alone and 10 is too young to be responsible for a 7 year old.

I wouldn’t leave them both until the younger one was old enough to be left alone. It’s not really fair for an older child to be in charge of a younger sibling and it would likely cause arguments.

I wouldn't leave a child under 13 in charge. I would leave them when the younger child was old enough to be responsible for themselves. I left DS from age 8 for about an hour.

Exactly this! Perhaps one of the reasons the rest of the world doesn't have such extortionate childcare costs is that they don't insist on childcare for children nearing secondary school age. If a 10/11 year can't be left home alone for an hour then I suggest they need to be taught some life skills sharpish! Independence is something we need to help our children learn surely?

No unless an absolute emergency.

Definitely not for an exercise class. I'm surprised you'd even consider it.

If anything went wrong, if the house caught on fire and the children were injured, you could be prosecuted. The 10 year old is much too young to be in charge of a sibling.

We have a (pretty independent) 10 year old and a 6 year old. I would leave the 10 yr old if I’m popping somewhere locally but definitely wouldn’t leave him in charge of the 6 yr old. I think it’s too much responsibility.

I left my dd alone at that age because she was very responsible and never got into anything. but if she had a 7 yr old sibling I dont think I would. I think it would be too much for her to handle. And I say that as I had to watch my bratty 4 year old sister when I was 11 and she was nothing but trouble and didn't listen to me at all.

If a 10/11 year can't be left home alone for an hour then I suggest they need to be taught some life skills sharpish! Independence is something we need to help our children learn surely?

It's not necessarily about leaving the 10yr old alone, it's about making them responsible for a younger child. It's a completely different scenario.

I cannot believe that this is even a debate. No way should a 10 year old be left babysitting a 7 year old. So many things could happen that a 10 yr old would not have the maturity to handle. Also a 10 yr old should just be a child and not have that type of responsibility. Find a good work out routine to do at home instead of putting your children in danger. You don't have to leave home to exercise. My daughter is 13 and only on rare occasions do I leave her alone just to drive to the store one block away. In most places it's illegal to leave a child under the age of 12 to baby sit.

No a 10 year is not old enough to look after anyone, I am surprised you even needed to ask.

Ive left mine at that age for around 45 minutes but only when

A) they were both watching TV and
B) my mum was watching over them through skype on the computer, angled so she could see them both

We live abroad and skype babysitting was a godsend several times.

My mum would text me regularly to tell me how they were and they could ring me on the landline if needed or go see a neighbour (block of flats).

I did leave my 10 year old for 90 minutes once (his brother's appointment overran). My mum said he did not stop talking to her about dinosaurs for 1 second 🤣🤣🤣

I leave my 11 and 8 year olds together for an hour or so. They've been fine and I am always within 10 minutes of home.

While I understand the reticence of leaving the younger child, I do question the wisdom of not allowing almost secondary school aged kids the freedom of time home alone. By the time I was that age I was getting two buses across a busy northern town. I'm in my 40s so it wasn't that long ago! Kids seem to be infantilised in a way they never were. (Then again, I was once of the few voices on a recent thread wondering why a high schooler sat alone at a bus stop for 3 hours rather than speak to a bus driver, so I may be in minority.)

With respect, unless you live in southside Chicago, that's insane. Your (presumably neurotypical) 13 year old is rarely left for an hour? Fuck me, my just turned 14 year old is babysitting other kids! How is your child going to master independence if she never tastes any freedom?

I've re-read my post and it is unnecessarily snarky - apologies.

Probably not. Maybe, depends on the children. Probably not for an exercise class. I'm struggling to remember what ds2 was like at 8. Actually I've scrolled back through my photos and looking at that time ds1 was very mature, as was ds2. They were so young, so cute. Both would happily sit and watch tv, later x box for hours, so I could easily leave them and they wouldn't even move. But both were perfectly happy if I popped out.

But that needs building up gradually. Dh and I would often do gardening, or go to the seperate garage for over an hour, never bothered them, they never even noticed. And I'd pop out for 5 minutes, then 10, then built up. Both of mine were thrilled to be eventually left at home for 1/2 a day when I worked. They loved it. Even though I kept it low key they couldn't understand why it was a big deal.

Not a chance aren't they meant to be 14 to supervise a younger child by law??

No.

There's no law, only guidance.

Reading these comments it’s no wonder we have the least capable children and teens on the planet.
too much responsibility for a ten year old? Give over!.

My almost 12 yo is left one day a week for a few hours when he gets back from school. We have occasionally left him and 9yo ds for about 40 mins max with clear instructions as what to do in some of the scenarios outlined above.

I do find that NSPCC advice a bit strange- it refers to 12 year olds as primary aged and says they shouldn't be left to make their own way to school. Most primary schools near me allow y5 and y6 students to make their own way in and home if they have parental permission.

No too young by a couple of years I’d say

Both children at that age should be capable of behaving for an hour.

I'm leaving my 11 yo and 8 yo today to go food shopping. They'll have a phone and my mum only lives round the corner

My concern in this situation is would the younger child be able to cope if something happened to the older child?

I might leave a 10yo home in daylight when I went to Tesco, but not with the 7yo, suppose they fight? Or if there is an accident, are you going to blame the 10yo. Too much responsibility.