Boyfriend not paying his way? Aibu ?

[quiltcoverss]

Boyfriend moved in a month ago
He pays £300 towards rent and gas/electric etc
Now we have two dogs and dog out pet insurance
It's £15 per dog
This morning I've told him the pet insurance has came out
He has transferred £300 and not a extra £15 for the pet insurance
I told him how much it was
So does he expect the £15 to come out of the £300?

Did you discuss it beforehand?

Tell him he needs to pay half of everything, including pet insurance.

And mean it.

Yeah I told him it's £15 per dog
I told him this morning it's £15 each

I feel crap saying anything to him

There's your problem

£300 seems a very small amount to be contributing? Regarding the insurance I would just come straight out and ask him to transfer it.

What was his response when you asked him where the £15 was?

He moved in a month ago and you immediately bought two dogs together? 😳Or did they belong to one of you before?

We don’t know? Ask him. He may not have thought about it really and just transferred the usual £300. He definitely needs to pay his way, but going from your thread title I thought you were going to say he’s literally not paying for anything. Not that he’s £15 down for dog insurance

Whose dogs are they? Was he paying pet insurance before?

If these were your dogs that you had, then I don't think that is a shared cost when moving in with a new boyfriend / girlfriend.

If they were his dogs, then he pays their costs.

We have been together for 2 years before he moved in
I've told him that many times it's £15 each
He isn't stupid

Why do you feel crap? This is the person you should be closest to, who you can tell anything to. This is not a good sign if you can’t talk to him.

How much is your rent/mortgage? Who pays for food?

You need to consider whether he is a potential cocklodger.

Why do you feel crap? This is the honeymoon period. It should be great. Maybe you're not as compatible as you think

We got them when we moved In together

What is the split, i.e what do you pay a month compared to him? Is it your own house, mortgaged, or do you rent?

If I say where's the £15 I look so stingy don't I
But at the same time I'm worse off

I rent and he earns nearly double me but I end up paying more altogether

Living together isn’t going to work if you can’t talk to each other.

Do not feel guilty and stop being too nice, he needs to pay his way. I hate the culture around women feeling like they have to be nice and good about stuff.

Write down all outgoings and split in two.

Spit isn't fair if he earns a lot more, it should be proportional to income

No you don't look stingy you look like someone who isn't a mug. Tell him he needs to transfer the £15. If you cannot talk about money with your partner or he feels he can totally take the piss at this point then this relationship is doomed.

He is relying on you feeling bad so he keeps more of his money. Doesn't come across as a great characteristic to have. You sound like my SIL who is a complete walk over when it comes to this sort of thing. She couldn't afford anything, her boyfriend who she lived with was jetting off to Vegas without her.

OP, he is taking the piss. This will only get worse as it’s only one month in.

Stop feeling embarrassed, this is your hard earned money he is earning.

Remember if you let him build up savings at your expense, and he dumps you, you will have nothing to show for it, whilst he will have a nice tidy sum to buy a house.

When DH and I moved in together we paid a proportion of our salary so that the other one wasn’t subbing the higher earning one.

You need to be able to talk about this if yiu cnatbit was over before it started.

The more you post the worst this is sounding. Outgoings should be proportional to what each person earns. Not divided in half, god you are my SIL. She did the exact same thing, hence why he was off to Vegas "with the lads".