I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

It won't fix all of the deficit in your budget (and I haven't read the full thread, only OPs posts) but what is your actual energy usage? We have a large 5 bed house and use on average 6000 kwh Electricity and 8000 kwh gas per year. We have partially electric heating so that's higher than average and gas is lower than average - but including standing charges this is going to cost us about £270 pcm.

You also can't really afford to pay so much into your pension... £750 is 15% so even a cut to 10% is paying in lots. Most pension advisors suggest that TOTAL contributions - ie from you plus your employer - are, as a percentage, around half of the age you were when you started saving. So 20% (total, for my employer they match up to 10%, so I'd be contributing 10% myself) if you start at 40 etc.

Go on benefits. You'll get 10% increase with inflation soon which you are unlikely to get as a salary increase.

Actually it's 12 hours formal work plus whatever he does on his own business plus the 44 hours of childcare.

Benefit bashing on a thread which has nothing to do with benefits?

And you do realise that benefits are going to bed cut to fund the tax cuts. They've warned of real term benefit cuts. Drastic cuts. People are going to starve or freeze when that happens.

Surely you would qualify for Small Business Rate Relief on a business run from a garage! I can’t believe your garage has a rateable value of more than £12,000! Have you applied through your local council?

Is that your opinion on stay at home mums?

There are a lot of them on mumsnet. Why dont you tell them that their efforts are shabby.

You mean childcare for his own child? It is called being a parent. plenty of women take the role of the main carer and work. I was working 25 hours a week working evenings and weekends to contribute to the family income and keep childcare costs down, like many women I knew back then.

if they can’t afford to live he needs to step up. 8 hours when OP says she can’t keep her family warm is pathetic.

Yes I would if they could not afford to live. There are plenty of jobs where the hours would compliment full time 9 till 5.

It was a while ago and DH dealt with it but yes, it all went through the council and we also had to contact the mortgage company if memory serves.

The council charge us a small fee to run a business from the garage and it’s all done via business rates as far as I’m aware - it’s really not much though!

That’s an insane amount for DD, We’re with octopus in a 3/4 bed end terrace and it’s £280pm. I thought that was bad enough! Octopus are also reducing the DD until March now under the govt scheme.

A small help - can you pay say £20 in to an account for your dog instead of paying £60 pet insurance per month ?

OP I've watched this thread with interest. There is a fascinatingly old-fashioned view from some about your partner being a SAHD. I have a more modern take - my OH and I were both part time when the kids were little. As they got older, I took on more work and more responsibility. I now bring in 3/4 of the household income. Please do ignore those posters who seem to be stuck in the 1940's!

Do you claim child benefit? Your post-pension income would suggest you should be getting some I think. Do you really have to pay twice the normal amount of student loan? That is quite a repayment schedule. Are you not able to reduce that payment? Your food is high, as you've already recognised. We pay that for effectively 4 adults (kids are adult sized). We shopped at Morrisons in the summer when we were away and were shocked at the price. I expect you can find a cheaper place to shop.

Good luck!

Also look at childminders, they are cheaper than nursery. Ours charge £5 per hour. Can your husband get any kind of agency/flexible wfh work?

Sorry another one! Could husband multi task and set up a space in the garage for your child while he did 20 minutes here 20 minutes there in the garage?

Just read through your replies OP and just wanted to say you and your family sound absolutely awesome.

I’d also be asking how much for a guitar from your DH if I didn’t have very similar income/outcome issues to you!

Business rates on the garage is a pain, if I’d been building guitars I would not have changed use, are you actually paying business rates, you should qualify for SBRR. Having a “lifestyle” business so often results in very little profit and the answer is get a “proper job”. But then you need childcare

He did exactly this when DS was a bit younger, DS would sit in a playpen quite happily playing with toy tools etc. Now though DS is too canny and will scream the place down if you dare to put him in a play pen. There’s too many hazards for a free range toddler and DH also can’t hear DS when he’s using power tools which makes me really really uncomfortable and always has even when DS was in the playpen. He’d have his back to DS and not be able to hear him for minutes at a time in an environment where DS could easily reach something sharp or a chemical or metal strings etc. Far too risky imo.

Op I think you are fab and have built a wonderful life with your family you should be proud

Hi OP. I haven’t RTFT but I’ve read most of yours and I just wanted to tell you that what you have achieved is incredible and you are doing an amazing job. And you’re only 31?! Well done you!

I'm certainly not predicting the housing market is doomed BTW, but I think to stubbornly insist that the fact demand outstrips supply means it will continue to be as buoyant as it has been recently, under the current economic turmoil, is naive in the extreme.

Oh ffs wrong thread!

Yes, childcare for his own child. He does it or someone else does it and they pay. He can't out earn what it costs so that's his contribution to the family. Plus he works one evening and one weekend day for 12 plus the hours spent on his own business. Since when has running around after a toddler full time been a charmed life??

£100 a month and he pays business rates?

Good heavens. That’s not a business, that’s a hobby that he very occasionally gets lucky at.

I definitely couldn't study, or do pretty much anything else whilst my ds is awake either.

Just wanted to say that you sound amazing and really lovely op. Ignore all the nasty stuff people have posted about your husband. It sounds like you both have a really good thing going on. Judging by what I see on here a lot of people have really been treated badly by their partners so tgats probably the place they're coming from.

And you absolutely should be able to support a family on the 36k you have after tax, pension, student loan etc... I hope you've got enough helpful advice in here.