I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

When he is meant to sleep? If he's working in the night and caring for an 18 month old in the day what time does he have left?

You have had some good advice and I have nothing to add. I just wanted to say your goodness radiates out in your posts. You have done so well for yourself depsite a very rough start. Your DH parents sounded amazing people.

I wish you and your family all the best.

This

Always baffled by well qualified, professional, well paid mumsnetters choosing to ask anonymous posters with absolutely no idea of their financial experience, qualifications or indeed anything - what they should do re their financial issues.

I’ll be curious whether your dh “liking the idea” of renting out his workspace actually becomes a reality.

I’m sorry you’re scared but really there isn’t any feasible way on the money you’re bringing in that you shouldn’t be able to keep your family warm. Your husband might need to get a part time job if it’s genuinely that much of a
struggle.

I posted a full breakdown... not sure how much clearer I can be?

You’re 31 and you have an 18 month old and you “We waited 13 years to have a baby”

so you started trying in your early / mid teens? Or is that a typo??

Well and what wonderful parents in law you have to take you in out of the care system. I can understanding the housing of their daughter etc.

For me work was the way to deal with extra costs in my life. At one point we had 2 full time jobs and weekend jobs - not forever but during difficult patches. Could the husband work 10 hours a day on Sat and Sunday at say £10 an hour so about 200 a week so £866 a month which might cover the extra heating costs?

And yet posters were able to come out with some helpful ideas - like renting out the workspace- that OP hadn't thought of, so maybe not such a bad idea after all.

£30 for playgroup?😱😳When I took mine late 90's-2004 it was 50p 3× a week. Babies up until 6 months were free. There was one at the Salvation army as well which was a voluntary contribution.

Yes but that is precisely my point is…. Why was anonymous mumsnetter needed to suggest renting a work space given how desperate the OP is? It’s just odd didn’t occur to two seemingly very capable adults

Tbf ours was £1.50 for a couple of hours, you had to be referred and I got a place, just

Then Covid stopped it for good, sadly.

op hope you’re feeling better. As others have said you’re doing well generally your costs are just a bit out of whack with income but can be adjusted

One of the attractions of this house was a big double garage which we’ve turned into a wood shop -

you converted a double garage in to a workshop for a job that is bringing in £100 a month?

@Doingprettywellthanks I'm not sure what your point is.
Everyone has blind spots, for OP these do appear to be around the income and expenditure of her DH, surely it's a good thing that these suggestions have been made that they hadn't considered before.

£30 for playgroup

I lived in zone 2 London and no where even approaching this!

There are no ‘playgroups’ where I live, just privately run baby classes like baby sensory. They’re approx £6 per session.

Her dh is a grown assed man. She needed mumsbetteee to point out his expenditure was not on given the circumstance.

and they spent money converting a large double garage for his workshop, which brings in grand total of £100 a month

his response of “he liked the idea” to renting it out rather than “hell yes op, whatever it takes” speaks volumes and I suspect this doesn’t happen

I'm still confused, is the Pet Insurance £60 a month or £160? And have you tried to price compare recently for that and the car insurance?

Statutory only on £60k a year??? Bloody hell op, did you know this before you joined?

I don't think anyone mentioning DH getting a job in the evenings is talking about a full time job overnight. A part time job in the evenings and weekends would go a long was in bringing in some additional income and he could still be home to sleep. Lots of people do it.

£5k set up the garage as DH's workshop

for a job that brings in £100

baffling

❤❤❤

Sorry I've not rtft but if you log into bulb payments you can see there the minimum they'll accept and can adjust it in there yourself.

It is a hobby with potential to earn money. I imagine the garage was converted before Cost of Living kicked off. But late to unconvert it now.
How much do other hobbies cost? The outing kind that take DHs out all weekend.