I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

Because of separate tax allowances and child benefit, your actual income will be significantly higher than OP's.

Your student loan and pension contributions are huge. Is there any way to reduce them?

Also, how are you using £240 a month in the summer? Are you on the correct tariff for car charging? Have you tried to cut back? Don't use the dishwasher, or tumble dryer. I've been using about £35 a month if electric in the summer. I realise everyone is different, but still...

I haven’t read the full thread but have read Op’s posts. I’m also with bulb in a 4 bed but not Victorian house and my bills are half of what yours are. We are a family of 4 with DH wfh full time and me 3 days a week at home plus 2 electronic obsessed kids so your usage seems off to me. Is your boiler old? We recently had ours changed and it’s saved us £35 a month in summer when it wasn’t in use. Not suggesting you change it now just wondering.

food budget can be reduced.
your car insurance is extortionate, remove one of you if needed
is it worth paying so much in pet insurance? Are the pre-existing conditions covered with that?
If you are contributing to your sil’s university in any way whilst she saves this may need to stop unfortunately. Does she get a job in summer and contribute to food etc?
Your DH needs to be picking up more hours whether it’s Uber eats or courier or anything that can be flexible and work around your hours.

Oh yes, stop using the dishwasher and tumble dryer, time showers and go back to basics with things like that

Do NOT reduce your pension payments. You will never ever make that up - a £ invested now is going to be worth far more when you retire, than a £ invested in 10 years time. A pension is dependant not on what you paid into t , but how it grows with investment over time. Especially as your pension is also covering your husband as is jointly his. (And would be treated as such if you divorced)

you need to look at stopping EVERYTHING else that is a “want” not a “need” . You and DH probably don’t need new clothes except perhaps new undies as they wear out. You do not need to buy anything for the house unless something breaks. Avoid car journeys and go out on foot instead (sure it limits your life but right now you have to do this). Free family entertainment only aside form TV liscense. £60 pet insurance seems outrageous- that’s more than my house and contents. Look at cutting back all bills by searching for cheapest on line constantly. Do stuff like switch banks to earn yourself cash back. Use cash back credit card like Amex. I wasn’t clear if you’d actually stopped holidays r just cut back to basic holidays - but you will need to stop holidays and focus on taking family days out instead and genuine staycations at home.

do you budget in detail? Eg set yourself an annual budget based on everything you’ve spent in previous year and what you will agree to spend this year. If you don’t then that is ne thing you must do. Until you know exactly where your money down to each £ is going, no one here can really advise you. It nice you know that you can both agree what is need vs want and what you must then do to avoid debt.

Another thing that might be worth looking at is solar conversion.

If you can sell the car for 30K, buy a new one for say 15K and spend the difference on a solar install. I have no clue how big a one you will get for say 15K, but my guess is pretty big.

If your husband is in all day working using leccy then it makes sense - you probably will not need the battery. Plus if you see it as your forever home you will get max value out of the panels.

You need to do the math though ...

^@FriedasCarLoad
^
'Procrastinatingtree'
We earn £50000 between us and don't struggle. I know everyone's circumstances are different but you must have massive mortgage payments or something'^

Because of separate tax allowances and child benefit, your actual income will be significantly higher than OP's.^

But with a SAHP the OP should be able to save on all sorts which a dual income family can't- mostly childcare but also two commutes which often means two cars, two lots of tax and insurance, two lots of fuel costs....

Either the OP needs to accept that the luxury of having a SAH partner means cutting back their significant outgoings and trimming their lifestyle, or he invests in his own work life which will mean paying for childcare and aiming to earn more than NMW

Your DH needs to work more hours. Where are you that council tax is so high?

His sister should contribute when she's there in the holidays too.

Your food bill is high and you're saving each month already so if your DH works a bit more you'll be fine.

Also, sort your direct debit out.

“I can see though now that I CAN afford it with some tweaks and I just need some proper advice - so I'm going to speak to the IFA at work next week and get someone to properly look at my finances and what I should do.”

I really think that’s what you need, everything you’re spending seems high. Obviously you can’t change mortgage or council tax without major changes. But the rest....

For example the dog food, it’s either bigger than a Great Dane, or you’ve picked a really expensive way of raw feeding. Obviously just getting cheaper dog food wouldn’t fix your budget, but everything seems to be like that, your food bill, your phones, all the insurances... they all seem like they could be cheaper if you shopped around and planned a bit more.

If you own your phones have a look at giffgaff for cheap monthly rolling contracts. You could probably save 15 or 20 quid a month there overall. Food you've already said you'd look at, but I reckon you should be able to get it down by at least 150 a month with good meal planning and no spendy ingredients. We spend, at most, 90 quid a week for a family of 4 with much bigger kids than yours. Plus 2 cats. We're not exactly vegetarian or watching our spend particularly so I'm kind of impressed you're spending as much as you are on food!

You've had a lot of other good advice. Fingers crossed a few tweaks and a deep breath or two will help you. DP has a similar approach to money as you after a similarly precarious financial childhood so I do understand. You've done phenomenally well and you'll come through. It'll be so much easier when your little one gets their hours. Chin up.

"Your student loan and pension contributions are huge. Is there any way to reduce them?"

Do NOT listen to this "advice". You keep your pension payments.

Some of you lot are being really really vicious, there's absolutely no need. If you can help me see where we can cut back I'

surely, surely, you and your husband are in the best portion to do this rather than a load of anonymous posters who really have squat all idea of the reality of your situation.

I too have thought about cancelling pension, just in the short term to help out with the current crisis. You can always build it up again ( assuming poo have many years of work left!) and pensions are rubbish investments at the moment anyway

Best to support your family now with any extra money you can and deal with any shortfall at a later date

Lots of good advice here.
but i don’t think you’ve answered my previous question of how on Earth were you spending £270 on energy in the summer. did you have a tumble dryer on twice a day? Not necessary at all in the summer.

How long have you been paying £160 a month for the pet insurance? That could work out more than the 14k worth of treatment he's received. I can appreciate the peace of mind it brings, especially as they get older, but it may not have been the value for money that you thought it was.

I had no idea your car was so expensive - I would sell that and buy something more modest. Maybe that would also cut your car insurance payments and fuel bills? For me I would prioritise your home and your family at the moment. I don't know about your pension but you sound a bit confused about whether it is coming from pre or post tax income so the IFA sounds like a good idea.

Actually using the dishwasher on eco is more effective than hand washing if you research it.

How exactly is he meant to get a night job when he is a SAHP? When are posters proposing he sleeps?

Agree with this - looking after kids is a full-time job.

OP, do you have any parents nearby that can help with childcare that would free up your DH's time to pick up some paid work? Even temporarily?

OP, does your employer offer any childcare vouchers are perks? Also worth looking at the cost of childminders - who in my experience are cheaper than nurseries. Maybe DH could get work that paid more than the cost of the childminder?

I'm so sorry things are so tough. It shouldn't be like this....

I'm confused.

You have approx £3.6k/month NET.

Rent £800
Energy £500
Council tax £200
Phones £40
Water £50 (generous guess, I pay £25 in a 3 bed)
Internet/TV/Spotify £60

That's £1650.

You should have close to another £2k for your food/clothing/savings etc. Where is it all going?

Personally I would sell the car and buy something with a much smaller engine until your dps license is 3 years old and you have a few years no claims bonus built up again. You don’t need such a massive expensive car , even if you’re rural.

OP, do you have any parents nearby that can help with childcare that would free up your DH's time to pick up some paid work? Even temporarily?

You can't have read even OP's own posts if you can write that.

The OP has listed all her outgoings so you don’t really need to speculate on them, you can just read them.

Fuck stopping with the dishwasher. Mine is on every single damned day and my ACTUAL fuel bill is £100/month at the new costs.

i fucking hate washing dishes. I’d rather sell my used knickers on a fetish site than mothball the dishwasher.

re: pensions. My dad saved and saved and invested and invested for his retirement. We felt quite resentful that we went without so he could “feather his nest”. As it turned out, retirement didn’t pan out the way he thought it would - and yea, he’s got cash - but I wouldn’t go as far as to say he’s “happy”. 🤷‍♀️

Haven't read through the comments but I work mainly nights and weekends in a hospital. The enhancements of this allow me to still have some profit after childcare on the days i need to sleep. I work every weekend. It sucks but its the only way we wouldn't struggle.
Between us we take home about 3100 and have a mortgage, childcare, sky, 2 cars. We are managing ok at the moment.
How long for though I'm not too sure! Will have to look at our "luxuries" such as sky if things get tough.
Hope you find a solution. Times are tough atm

As others have said your pension is very high, plus great you have 2mths income saved so that’s £6/7k

car insurance is insane !!!!! Def look on compare etc

council tax seems a lot compared to what house is worth /mortgage. Is that over 10ths. Can you change to 12

dog insurance you say £60 in main post but £160 in costs. Which is if

you havnt mentioned water

dh need to work more evenings whether online telephone like 111 or rac etc. from home

or cleaning or pubs restaurants etc

his hobby is lovely but doesn’t pay bills

hiring out his garage /workspace is one idea or that you move your office in there or even your bedroom. Assume table laptop etc. esp if only wfh 2 days a week

leaving whole floor in loft to not use and shut off or rent out to someone

food at £600 so £125 a week seems a lot for toddler and 2 adults

not sure how long you have on mortgage but maybe extend it to lower payments

tbh I’m not sure you can afford a second child unless dh then finds full time job or unless you company gives a fab maternity

survive on £600 a month for 33w if take 9mths is hard. Very hard