I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

OP has said her DH's parents are dead and she is a care leaver.

@WaddleAway Yeah. Just noticed that the thread hadn't properly loaded for me on the app.

i fucking hate washing dishes. I’d rather sell my used knickers on a fetish site than mothball the dishwasher

I think I love you 😂

But either the OP is putting 25% of pre-tax salary (X*0.6=750 so X = 1,250 which is 15k a year) into her pension or it isn't reducing her net take home by £750

I am a massive fan of paying into your pension, but 25% is an Enormous amount of money.

How on earth are you spending £500 a month feeding two adults and one toddler?!!

I appreciate your sentiments- but as I said in my PM, no - you can’t have a discount! 😉

This.

Your figures just dont add up.

We’re in exactly the same boat and are having to tighten our belts. I’d say looking at your breakdown try and reduce food spending where possible. Please don’t stop paying your pension but you could always drop 1% if you’re overpaying?

"Fuck stopping with the dishwasher. Mine is on every single damned day and my ACTUAL fuel bill is £100/month at the new costs."

Yeah, but does that include the extra costs of stuff like tablets, dishwasher salt, cleaner etc ?

I have a system boiler which means I have spare hot water (heated by gas) which would just be wasted if it wasn't used for washing dishes. Not the same for everyone of course.

But my guess is dishwashing for me is less than 1/2 the cost of using a dishwasher.

I don't know how much charging a hybrid car takes, but it is free to charge in most Tescos who have 7KW chargers and Sainsbury's and if you get the PodPoint app you might be able to identify other free places locally you can charge it which could save you some electricity.

Can you look at compounding your hours or flexible working to allow your husband to work too. Maybe each of you working 4 days so you don’t need full time childcare. I’ve gone back to work full time after being a sahm and so many more options available to work from home, work some hours in the evening.

@GasPanic dishwasher tablets approx £10/quarter (I shop around) and I don’t use cleaners/salt as I live in a soft water area.

v. good breakdown ==> depending on if your employer makes pensions contributions I would start by cutting your pension contribution to 5% or £200 pcm with basic tax relief. Not great but you are long way from pensionable age and can make it up in a few years. Note your DH should be getting NI credits towards his state pension. At some some point their could be a very difficult decision about your pet

HR taxpayers cannot use the marriage tax allowance transfer, it's for BR taxpayers only.

I appreciate your sentiments- but as I said in my PM, no - you can’t have a discount! 😉

🤣

I recommend Waking Night care work. I used to do it, with no experience whatsoever, trained on the job but I started with day shifts, cause there were no nights available then.

No we don't run the tumble dryer - I don't know for sure because no smart meter, but we do A LOT of washing because we use reusable nappies so the washing machine is on a lot. We dry them outside/ in the garage/ on radiators/ in front of the fire though. We do have a tumble dryer, but it's probably used once a month if that.

Also, DH's workshop obviously uses quite a bit on power tools/ wood burning. Not masses though, he does a lot of his work with hand tools because Uke's are small and tricky. We do run a dehumidifier in the garage though, have to to protect the wood from getting too damp.

My Income: £3,600
DH's Income: £350
Energy: £470
Life insurance: £30
Car Insurance: £140
Home insurance: £14
Mortgage: £849
TV: £15
Phones: £40
Fuel: £150
Pet Insurance: £160
Dog Food: £70
Food: £500
Pension: £750
Spotify: £12
Playgroup: £30
Income Insurance, boiler insurance, appliances insurance: £44
Rainy Day savings: £100
Council Tax: £310
Broadband: £22
Student Loan: £400
Income: £3,950
Outgoings: £4,106

Do you get child benefit?
Do you pay your council tax over 10 months or 12?
Phones - are you tied into contracts where you are paying for the phone? I have loads of txts, calls and GB for £7.99 with Tesco mobile.

Work out your energy usage over the last year and use the new price cap figures inc the standing charge to get a rough idea of your cost for the next year. Set your direct debit accordingly or see if you can move to Octopus using one of the referral codes here www.mumsnet.com/talk/cost_of_living/4614771-octopus-referral-thread?reply=120167568 which will get you £50 off you bill. You almost definitely won’t be paying £470 a month. There will be a saving there.

Can you increase the term of your mortgage to lower the payments each month?

£75 per week should be plenty for food and other bits. The advantage of having a SAHP is that they have time to meal plan using cheaper ingredients. Saving £200 a month. Also things like hanging out/up washing to save on the tumble drier.

Ditch the rainy day fund. Saving £100 a month.

£400 cost of living fuel payment from the government = £66 a month of fuel bill.

so that’s at least £366 saved so far and perhaps your dh could find a few extra hour to spend on his side hustle or an extra evening shift.

You sound lovely OP and have done really well to get to where you are.
Are you getting the higher rate tax relief on your pension contributions. You have to complete an annual tax return but worth it. If not you can go back 4 years to claim.
Your student loan repayments are too high under plan 1 or 2. You should check that.
Also rebroke all your insurances.

Or some kind of online webcam work, like foot fetish or dominatrix stuff. I also used to do this.

Hi . I am with bulb also and have a 4 bed house and we used to pay £290.00 per month and now i have cancelled the direct debit and pay for what we use and i have noticed its a lot cheaper doing it that way. Maybe its worth a try x

Oops. Cross post re tumble drier!

Have a look at changing your gas/electric to Octopus - they have cheaper night tarriffs specifically for charging cars.
They do but only for 4 hours and the daily rate is higher so the cost works out about the same.

Bulb are some kind of scammers though, they repeatedly demanded money from me that I didn’t owe. Apparently it’s common and many just pay it because they don’t want their credit score ruined.

When the car insurance comes up for renewal, use compare sites AND Quidco to get the best deal. Protect no claims too