I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

Sorry to hear but I can't see where your income is going, if your mortgage is only £800 a month and no childcare - you should ask Bulb to revise based on actual usage, that seems horrifically expensive. You can't do anything about student loan repayments and depends on your workplace if they let you reduce pension contributions. Why not get a lodger or do Airbnb as you've got the spare bedrooms.

Can you reduce your pension payments for a while? Perhaps until your child/ren are in education and your DH can get back to work?

We earn just over £60k between us and we’re just getting by and have three mortgages and 17 pets to feed. Your pension payment is akin to another mortgage.

The direct debit Bulb would like you to pay is massively over priced. We live a biggish open plan style 4 bed, big windows and doors and glass roof bit, big bedroom and a workshop in the garden where I sew, plus an EV car and I have just brought my direct debit down because we had too much credit. The government £400 will cushion you this winter. Tell Bulb to keep it as it is.

I am intrigued to see where you spend your money though OP.

£800 on mortage
Food DH
£290 utilities
£40 phones
£60
£200 CT and Water ?
leaves quite lot

You could probably play around to save some money.

One idea to make some more, has your DH considered filming his craft work and making a you tube channel? There's lots of that around and it sound like it would make interesting watching, or 'slow TV' where you watching something calming.

I'm still flummoxed by the " we waited 13 years to have a child" when the OP is 31yo?

The easy option is to suspend pension payments for a few years it’s not a priority now.
A baby, mortgage, student loan, and pension is too much on one wage. Plenty of time for pensions when kids are older and you both can work

Your very obvious solution is to significantly reduce your pension contributions. Once you don't need to account for childcare your DP can work full time and you can increase it again.

Do check your meter readings. We are also with Bulb and were regularly getting the emails about our direct debit going up - but when we logged in, we could adjust the payment down by about £60 and still be covering the cost of usage.

Do you have any old appliances running which uses a lot? We had an old chest freezer in the shed which was so handy, but actually was costing a bloody fortune to run as the shed was baltic in the winter and tropical in the summer. When we got rid of it, there was a noticeable difference.

Also my dad had a tall victorian place that was always bloody freezing and impossible to heat - woollies and hot water bottles are the way to go

We have a similar joint income and are struggling, so OP I sympathise. No advice, just hang on in there.

Get a lodger

I did it for years, but till 2am. Sometimes you just need to do what needs done

OP, you can't afford to pay £750 into your pension if you need that money to spend elsewhere. Get some financial or tax advice to see what you will take home net if you reduce it. As PP said you will pay more tax NIC etc, so you need to look at the bigger picture, but seriously who pays into a pension when they can't afford to pay their electricity bill?

You also seem to have huge outgoings. Where is all the rest of the money going to each month? I would download the MSE budget planner and list out every single thing on there, look at your spending, look at birthdays , Christmas etc.
If we can see where your money is going, we can suggest more cutbacks for you.

Another PP mentioned the Marriage Allowance. Unfortunately you cannot transfer part of your allowance to your spouse if you are a Higher Rate taxpayer so you won't be able to do that. (But for general info it can be done with couples where one pays none and one pays 20%).

For PP the "Married Couples Allowance" doesn't exist any more, you are thinking of the Marriage Allowance which has been in place for a few years now.

www.gov.uk/marriage-allowance

Does SIL contribute anything to bills/food etc when she's back?
Does she have a job to help pay for Uni?

Yes, you say your house is her home - but most adults contribute to their homes. She may not realise how tight things are and would be happy to help when she's back
How much longer will she be at Uni for?

Great idea from pp who recommended renting out the woodshop

Will have another look when you post full details

For Christmas can your DH churn out 'make your own reindeer' kits? The sort made from logs and twigs. I see them advertised for sale at typically £25-30 or so (expensive area)
An activity for your DH and child could be to go and gather suitable materials - minimal cut and prepare in the workshop, print instructions and sell for £10-15.
Or does he have space to run a weekend 2 hour workshop 'make your own' for, say, £25, if you have room for 4-6 in a group that's typically £100 profit per workshop.
Are there other wooden crafty making workshops he could run?

Hi OP
i think realistically you can’t afford to be putting so much into your pension each month (this is quite high). You are still young and obviously in an ideal world these would be your contributions but at the moment you may need to reduce these until your DC / future DC is in school and your DH can work more hours. Hopefully you can then make additional voluntary contributions.

The financial advice on these boards worry me at times, actually the one thing that this poster has on her side it is her age and the one thing she will never get back is the opportunity to achieve compounded interest.

literally the two things that you never stop your pension contributions in the mortgage everything else can be cut to the bone.

£750 a month into a pension is a lot!

Cut it to £350 and you've solved your heating problem, surely??? Priority spending needs to be house, food & heat, especially when you have a small child.

It's difficult to see where your money is going to be honest.
I have a similar take home and mortgage payments, but three (expensive!) school age children so we have a lot of costs like school trips, music lessons, bikes, sports - which are 'luxuries' but we choose to prioritise spending on those things I suppose.
We're still managing to heat the house though.

Sorry, yes I've done this, we submit meter reading monthly. Our usage in the summer was around £240, we paid £290. I don't have accurate readings from last winter but I'll work out what the average monthly use was when I've got a second this morning.

Sure but paying £750 a month into a pension isn't realistic if you can't afford to keep your baby warm now.

You clearly made some bad choices somewhere.

I make 6k a year (part time from home while being SAHM) and DH 18k per year we also like rurally in a victorian 3 bed in the cheapest part of the country and we aren't 'struggling' (yes prices went up so our spare money that was topping up our savings has stopped but we can still afford things like heating).

So obviously you have to be doing something really wrong that your not posting.

AuntSalli sure, but not if the OP can't afford to pay her bills now - that's just daft.

Regardless of your pension aspirations right now, ultimately your outgoings are higher than your incomings so you need to cut your pension down for a while, it’s the obvious answer here.

What stands out

• there's a huge gap between what your income should be and your stated outgoings so what is that going on?

-your house isn't basic! Most families with 1 working adult and only 1 child don't have 4 bed houses. I actually doubt it is worth downsizing as by the time you've paid for all costs and remortgaged etc you won't save much now but you'll need to get a plan in place for when your fixed term ends - 1.99% interest on 800 is very different to what will probably be 6-10%interest

• your electric bills are really really high and you need to reduce them. I would turn off all the heating apart from 1 room where dh and dc can stay during the day. It's a complete waste heating spare bedrooms etc.

No you can't take a student loan holiday.

Some bright news - presumably when dc turns 3 you will be entitled to free hours at nursery so dh could start work then - however this would be dependent on you not having another child. You were worried about things getting worse in Jan but when people were talking about that they meant the planned energy hike before the price cap was introduced so there shouldn't be w huge increase any more. Food prices etc are probably still going to keep increasing though

You should also be getting the 66pound a month for the next 6 months off your electric.

I believe there is a tax allowance if you work from home. I need to look into this myself so don't know the details but gather it is worth a reasonable amount of money.

Do you have all led light bulbs? The difference in energy between them and halogen or traditional is large.

I think you also need to consider how many miles you are travelling per month on the charge from your car. If you drive 100 or 500 miles per
Month is going to be hugely significant as is if you have only recently bought your electric car.

@Rapidtango but like many, you are spectacularly missing the point if she reduces the payment down to 350 all that will happen as the other £400 will go towards student loans tax national insurance she will not end up with an additional £400 in her pocket.