I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

Give over. Plenty of us have grown up in really bad situations. Plenty of people from that background earn significantly less and won’t be able to manage to earn more.

The vast majority of people that earn good money and those that don’t, have worked hard.

You have the means to make your life more comfortable but are choosing not to.

It’s hard to have sympathy for someone who is choosing to make their life harder, because they want to pay a fortune into their pension every month.

You are making a choice.

Hi OP

I def recommend doing a full income and expenditure so you can see exactly where your money is going. Your pension is huge for your salary - I would temporarily reduce it until DD is in free hours / school and DH can work full time.

How’s he meant to sleep then?? That’s a ridiculous idea. So he does childcare in the day and then works at night? I can’t see how that will work.

OP can you do a detailed budget breakdown. That might help. Agree that your ‘usage’ and the direct debit amount they want is not necessarily the same thing!!! Keep calm xxxx

From a long term financial perspective you are 100 % correct @AuntSalli but if the OP is unable to heat her house or think about having another child she has to balance this against future financial security. Sorry to sound morbid but not everyone lives long enough to fully make use of their pensions so it is all a balancing act.

@curlymom, tbh I completely forgot that you need a smart meter for most ev tariffs!!

@Theyarellthesame , in that case, is it worth talking to Bulb about switching to an electricity tariff that is cheaper at night (if such a thing exists). Also, if the last time you spoke to Bulb about smart meters was 2-3yrs ago, would it be worth asking again as technology does seem to move fast and they may have something suitable for your house?

£240 usage over the summer seems incredibly high. We have a similar sized house and our usage has been about £100 per month May - September.

Before tax the OPs income is 5 grand a month, before the partners earnings are included. The numbers don't add up.

One poster up thread said they were going to live on tinned food as pasta was too expensive to cook.

The energy threads on here are bonkers, like people can't do the most basic maths.

The rate is annual monthly average not actual usage.

How did you spend £240 a month on utilities in the summer?

Your DH needs to find an evening or weekend job to cover the increases.

Is your DH doing anything productive in terms of trying to progress his career prospects? There are lots of free courses at the moment funded by the gov for stuff in IT- these can usually be done flexibly ie a few hours in the evening or projects on weekends. Presumably as well you won't be on benefits as a family due to your earnings so any shifts he can do would be beneficial, could he find a zero hours job for one day at the weekend or something? Plenty of SAHMs do similar. The other option is to sell up and downsize, although you are on a good wage it's not anything special for a household combined income.

And for everyone asking when DH is supposed to sleep, I'm guessing no-one is suggesting he looks after DC then does a 12 hour nightshift. He could try to up his hours in his pub job or spend a Sunday working in a shop or cafe, perhaps, or do a few hours shelf stacking.

I am with Bulb and they kept on asking for increasingly higher monthly amounts that nowhere matched my usage - I cancelled my fixed DD with them and now have a variable one. I make sure I always have 1 month's usage in credit but it has meant that Bulb do not have £100s in their account because of their wild estimates - it stays in mine.

@IrisVersicolor

No. She said she checked her actual usage. They USED £240 a month.
They PAID £290 a month direct debit.

Bulb base the DD amount on last year's energy usage.
So if you are planning on being more careful with your energy usage this year it'll be on the high side.

They are constantly attempting to put up my DD.
I don't have a smart meter either but I do a monthly reading and keep a close eye on my online account (which has easy to understand usage graphs).
You can also go onto your account online and put the DD back down to a reasonable level but obviously you should only do this if you have a firm grasp of how much energy you are actually using.

Your bill should show an annual usage so you can use this to work out what your annual bill should be, and hence your direct debit, which should end up being about twice last year, if that amount was right for your usage.

I disagree that you shouldn't be charging SIL to live with you. She's an adult with presumably an income in the form of her student loan, which is designed to cover her living costs. Plus she could be working.

When she's with you, she has costs like extra showers, laundry, food etc. Or could she babysit your child to allow DH to work, if you feel you can't take money off her, but it means she will be contributing.

If what a pp said about bulb being in administration, then you need to be really careful about being in credit with them or you’ll likely lose all your credit. Stop paying anything until any credit is used up, then work out exact usage and pay the minimum you can.

The wood workshops is a great idea, just make sure that you have all H&S aspects covered, and proper insurance etc and that parking issues/noise won't upset the neighbours etc. More costs I know, but worth investing in for a long term income stream.

She has multiple savings too, that's where the money is going:

DH’s side hustle is usually what we save for the holiday fund, we’ve been putting it into rainy day funds instead.

And a large pension fund.

@sjxoxo congratulations on asking the same question I already answered.

One option when you can remortgage is to extend the term - it won't be forever.

Hopefully your DS is in the waiting list to go to nursery once he free hours kick in?

It's unfortunate that your house is costly to heat .

Get used to being colder and use heated throws etc.

You definitely need to lower the pension contributions significantly, the futures important but the here and now is where it's needed.
You could speak to the student loans and see how much you have left to repay and if there's an option to reduce the amount you pay back each month and lengthen the term. Not ideal but you can always increase in future if things improve.
My energy provider 'recommends' my DD to be £240 per month yet I'm in credit paying £150. Regular meter readings will give you a better indication than bulbs estimates.

girlmom21 · Today 08:23
Your DH needs to find a job working nights“

he looks after the family during the day. When is he supposed to sleep? Would you want a dangerously tired person caring for your family?

Is your husband charging enough for his work? Sounds like his tools require a lot of energy. Do his prices reflect that?

IrisVersicolor, the OP says she checked their usage over summer and it was £240. They were paying £290. £240 is pretty high for a period when there should b no need for heating, lights not on very much etc.