I earn £60k and I can’t keep my family warm

[Theyarellthesame]

Exactly that and I’m so, so frightened.

im 31 and I’ve done everything ‘right’ - went to uni, got myself a job and in 8 years increased my wage from £16k to £60k. We waited 13 years to have a baby until we’d saved up £20k so I could afford maternity leave, had £6k-ish left over after mat leave.

I live rurally in one of the cheapest areas in the country in a 4 bed Victorian semi, it’s not grand in any way. Lovely, but a basic 4 bed, 3 storey family home. When we moved in I had the loft insulated but we can’t have a smart meter because of something to do with where the meter is located.

My DH is a SAHP so no childcare costs for my 18 month old and he’d only be able to earn minimum wage so his take home pay per hour would be less than the cost of childcare, hence why he’s a SAHP.

Yesterday I got an email from bulb putting my direct debit up again from £290
to £470. It was £120 2 years ago. On top of everything else going up I just categorically cannot afford to pay that. There isn’t enough money by £149 a month to cover the bills for the household.

I think my options are to cancel paying in to my pension to free up that money or stop paying my student loan? Can you do student loan holidays?

mortgage is on a 5 year fix with 2 years left at 1.99% so that’s as low as it can go, we don’t have Netflix, sky or Prime anymore, we just have a TV license. We do have a Spotify subscription. Both our phones are on £20 a month contracts, we don’t have any debt other than student loans and the mortgage. We do have a dog and his pet insurance is £60 a month but it’s none- negotiable that we keep that going.

We batch cook using the instant pot to avoid putting the oven on, we do use the washing machine a lot because we use reusable nappies. I drive a plug in hybrid so the electric is high because of that.

We have 1 or 2 U.K. holidays a year, usually a static caravan or holiday cottage for a few days. Total cost of holidays per year is around £1k so I’ve already knocked saving for those on the head.

No chance of my wage increasing again any time soon, I’ve pushed very hard for the last 8 years to climb a very greasy ladder and there’s no where else to go from here.

WTF do I do?! There’s news all the time how this is going to get worse again in January and the only advice coming out seems to be ‘go and get a better paid job’ but I HAVE a well paid job! we want another baby but I’m currently telling DH no because we can’t afford it and need to save like crazy.

Im very very frightened, how much worse is it likely to get from here?

@PollyPeePants this nonsense always gets trotted. I remember when I was living on my own around the corner from the hospital in a four bedroom house and offered a room to rent for £50 a week. Couldn’t get any interest at all.

My husband earns less than £40k a year and we have 5 children. We too live in an isolated, rural location. I can't drive and buses are every 1-2 hours, starting at 8.30am and finishing at 4.30pm. The nearest shop is a 30 minute bus ride...

Three of our children are disabled. We began claiming disability for our 11 year old, last year and are going through the stress of a tribunal for our very demanding 9 year old as DWP have denied that there is anything wrong for the last 2 years, despite medical diagnosis and reports confirming the challenges and care needs that our 9 year old requires.

I became disabled a few years ago and have been unable to return to the career I trained in. Going out to work is not an option for various reasons; care needs of children, my own health issues and the cost of childcare + travel vs any income I could make. I have looked into what I could do from home, but I yoyo from stressing about it to feeling suicidal, most days.

It cost my husband £80 a week in fuel to travel to work, just a few months ago and that included using the car once a week to go shopping. Now it costs £100 per week and we don't go shopping anymore. We are eating what we have. Food banks are 20 miles away...

We are fortunate that we have a fire and we have wood from a tree that was in our garden. We usually pay £230 to buy 500 litres of heating oil (the minimum you can buy) around now. We have delayed because my husband wanted to know what Liz Truss was planning on offering, just to find out it was £100 with no sign of when or how. We have now run out of oil and have no hot water, so my husband ordered 500 litres and it's going to cost us almost £500! That won't last to Christmas and we don't have £500, we have 3 weeks to pay once delivered, so we are not going food shopping this month, so we can pay for it. To make it last, we are not using the radiators at all. We are going to live in our living room and the kids have hot water bottles for bedtime. We need to factor in the fact that we will need to buy food in the near future, so the radiators not getting used, should save us enough money, that we can have hot water and buy food next month.

We don't have Netflix, Sky, Spotify.... we don't have holidays.... we don't eat take aways.... we don't eat out.....go to pubs.....drink alcohol. I make everything from scratch and always have, but tinned food are going to be staples going forward, since cooking pasta is costing too much as things stand.

Just for clarity there isn’t a cap of £2500, the cap is on the unit price and that’s just what the average household will pay for gas and electricity with the cap in place.

OP, bulb wanted to put our DD up to £470 as well (small 3 bed terrace house, we are £500 in credit and didn’t use any heating for last 3 months) my DH went into the account and it lets you lower it, he’s put it down to £350.

You can afford to keep your family warm. You are choosing to put a huge amount into your pension instead.

Something totally different and I'm sure you've thought about this already, but is your partner the responsible parent for child benefit? This entitles him to a pension credit otherwise he won't be building those up. You currently need 35 years to get the full basic state pension.

Yep

Er, yes it does! We used to claim it until DH started to earn too much to do so.

What about a lodger or(overseas student depending on where you live) living on one wage is hard .especially with a 4 bedder! Dh might be able to get a pt job evening's or we maybe. Also can you get a better deal on your energy supply. Really you have a good income but not a lot left over .

also a good tip i have learnt is, purely by chance we overpayed our electric bill since december so now we are nearly £300 in credit and only paying £40 a month for our electric. we have a smart meter which i know not everyone can have but its saved us a fortune. Originally bulb quated us £120 a month electric we got it down to £80 to show we dont use that much and now cause we are in credit got it down to £40 until we get level again , and then we will start overpaying to benefit next winter.

Please check what you actually use and what you are being billed. they bill on estimate so they will always over bill you regardless. if your in credit then ask for a refund or reduce your current monthly DD.

Can your DH do a childcare swap with another SAHP? If he can do work on his business in a few hours then it could be ideal.

On the matter of CB and pensions, the OP earns £60k so they're not entitled to CB but she can deduct her pension contributions, which at £750 pm, this means they're actually entitled to 90% of their CB, but this needs to be declared and worked out on a tax return - is this happening OP?

You've mentioned you've got a holiday fund and a rainy day fund, although now holiday fund is just rainy day fund as you can't afford both.. but it's still savings isnt it?

Im not feeling much sympathy I'm afraid. You have around 1300 leftover after bills including food, you're paying a massive amount towards your pension and since you keep avoiding the question I doubt you bother to actually give bulb accurate figures and just use their estimates. And you have savings..

I'll save my sympathy for others that have no money anywhere over someone who has multiple savings, big pension fund, big house that they don't even keep accurate energy figures for and is still whining..

This is a brilliant idea.

Just give me a minute to grab the full expenditure, it's on the way.

Some of you lot are being really really vicious, there's absolutely no need. If you can help me see where we can cut back I'm all for it - if you're here for 'poor little rich girl can't afford her salmon en croute' vibes or to tell me you earn 40p a year and go on 4 foreign holidays a year absolutely fine then piss off. I've worked my arse off for every single penny I have. I put myself through uni with cleaning jobs (which might be why i described my house as 'basic' - my only real experience and exposure to 'normal' family life is cleaning other peoples houses which I realise probably skews my view. I LOVE my home).

I grew up in care mostly, not 'Buckingham Palace'. DH grew up in a working class family in a lovely council house they eventually bought. My degree helped me get an entry level job on £16k a year 8 years ago and I thought that was an absolute fortune. I'm not, in any way, saying I'm not incredibly privileged. I am, which makes the fact I'm fucking TERRIFIED of how I'm going to afford to live without debt even more troubling.

You could consider offering a home to a Ukranian person or mother and child fleeing the war. You would receive a £350 per month "thank you" payment from the government for up to 12 months, and your DH is around lots to help them settle in. Being more rural could be tricky, but may be workable if you're happy to give them lifts when you're going to work etc or if there is public transport.

Obviously it isn't something you should do just for the money, but it is worth thinking about if you feel that you as a family would be suitable and sufficiently supportive.

It will push your utilities up a bit, but less than the £350. They receive UC so can buy their own food. You could also potentially find someone who has a small child and would like to share childcare with your DH so that both they and your DH can pick up part-time work.

Why are posters quoting their DD prices from last month before the price cap increase that happened over the weekend?

Additionally are you and can you salary sacrifice your pension, there are negatives and positives to this so take advice, but this would reduce your student loan repayment amount.

I'd go with what the others have said on here and have a really good look at your gas/electricity usage. To compare: I have a (small) 3 bed semi, built in the 1930's. Really damned cold in the winter, so I've got thermal/lined curtains, draught excluders etc etc. I'm a lone parent to 2DC, work FT and earn £31K. I also have an electric car (fully electric, not hybrid).

My DD (with Octopus) is £174/month (for gas and electricity). I have one of the EV tariffs for electricity, which makes the price per kWh ridiculously cheap between 00:30hrs and 04:30hrs. That is the time I charge my car (well, partly charge it as it has a 64kwh battery! Using my 7kWh car charger at that time, it's 49p/hr! So just under £2 for getting 28kWh onto battery - nearly 50% of charge), and also run dishwasher, washing machine (and sometimes tumble drier). I don't have a kettle, but do have a hot water dispenser thing. I've kept my DD to the same amount for winter and summer months and am £300 in credit currently (phew!). We do super quick showers, rather than baths. I used cloth nappies and wipes for both of my DC when they were babies (so I remember all the washing and folding!!).

The gas tariff I'm on is a variable one with Octopus. I tend to use Instant Pot or Thermamix for cooking, and rarely use my dual fuel cooker/oven. We have heated throws and Oodie style hoodies which we use in the cold weather, rather than putting heating on. I'm holding out from using the central heating for as long as possible: last winter, when it got really cold, we managed with it on low (15 degrees) for a very short time in morning and in evening (just to stop damp, pipes freezing etc).

Have a good look at your usage but I'd really recommend an EV tariff. It could save you a lot of money, esp if you can use the cheaper times to run washer/drier etc. Good luck!!

This is a good idea but you end a smet2 smart meter for this. I found out the hard way 😔

I'm not sure why you didn't pay off your student loan when you had the chance?

Did your DH ever work?
Does he have plans to return to work when the kids are in school full time?

OP said she does not have a smart meter __

Then when does he sleep? Working nights will mean that paid childcare is needed. The cost of childcare would likely be the equivalent of what the ops partner earns, pointless.

Absolutely not, this is her home. That would be like charging your teenagers rent when they come home for the holidays.

From the off you could tell there was some "missing" money somewhere.

And yes, priorities.

Yes put your costs and then people can help more

I'm slightly bemused by a 31 yr old with an 18month old toddler who waited 13 years to TTC - you must have been very young when you got together.

DH needs to expand his business and potentially up his rates. If he is charging hobby rates then its a hobby and he needs to find other work. A parent at home is a luxury in difficult times. Keeping a spare bedroom as an office is also a luxury if you can find a lodger. If its that rural is it suitable for b&b in the season?

I'm also not quite seeing where all the money is going, even with big pension contributions.