to be fed-up with people telling me that I MUST breastfeed!

[llisa]

I am only four months pregnant with first baby but I am so sick of being lectured by friends, family (DH's not mine), work colleagues etc as to why I must breastfeed! I fully intend to give bf a go but I refuse to a)worry about it this early on and b) beat myself up about it if it doesn't work out. I will be quite happy with a healthy baby who's putting on weight, happy etc.. In the mean time I am having to endure MIL, friends etc telling me I will stay fat if I don't bf, baby will be a fat child if I don't, baby will get sick if I don't, I will be a bad mother if I don't etc GRRRRR.
Is it only me or are other people finding that being pregnant means other people feel free to express their unwanted opinions/views on pregnancy birth and child rearing!?!

Just tell people that you are intending to bf and leave it at that....although I will say that now is a good time to read up on it and think of anything that you may want to ask....there are loads of good posters on here who will be happy to give you advice/tips....if thats what you want....

i hate the fact that people think they have right to tell pregnant woman and parents what to do.
do what you want!!!

Once you become pregnant you become a magnet for all the do gooding, nosey, not minding their own business people in the world.

Just put a smile on your face and think about something pleasant when they are lecturing you.

YANBU, but think you'll have to get used to it...
During PG I was lectured on -

• there being no point BF as I'd never succeed
• the importance of BF and my baby would practically die on the spot if I didn't

(I BFed happily for 7 months) Once baby born I was lectured by controlled crying enthusiasts, attachment parenting enthusiasts etc etc etc. And now DS is toddler it's all what I should/should not be doing for his development. SOmetimes from total strangers. Apparently everyone's an expert. Learn to smile, nod, and do your own thing...

No YANBU.

You will find that the world and his wife are now an expert on your body, your lifestyle and your life. Forever.

This is only the start.

Congratulations!

(BTW, you can get fab help and advice on here about breastfeeding!)

My friend has just got pg and said she would be asking me for advice (because I have one child and am obviously an expert ) I told her that as soon as she gets a bump she won't need to ask for advice, people will offer it freely, in the supermarket, in the street...

get used to it

I think you are hugely exaggerating. I very much doubt you have colleagues queuing up to tell you that you will be a bad mother unless you breastfeed.

I intend to have atop printed "what am i,flypaper for freaks??!!" i think this will do the trick

Just read up on everything so you are fully appraised of the facts and then make up your own mind. Ignore everyone else.

hi llisa i would just let these comments fly over your head and do what YOU feel is best for YOUR baby. if that is BF then so be it but it isnt the end of the world if you FF. i BF my DD and i got the opposite reaction from my DHs family saying i was selfish for BF etc i did what i thought was best and they soon shut up. TBH all of their excuses sound like a load of BS aswell!! i put weight on BFing (not that everyone does or anythin i just did), my DD was always a big baby for her age and she has ear infections and croupe quite often. FWIW you will only be a bad mother if you allow others to rule your decisions and you sound as if you are going to be a brilliant mum, just follow your instincts and you cant go far wrong
it is unfortunately part of pregnancy/childbirth/childrearing that people who have an opinion choose to force it upon you as their ingrained duty these are often people who dont feel like they did a great job themselves and want to 'help' you to do a better job of it
dont worry about them and you will do great
xx ei xx

not one colleague, friend or family member told me I should breastfeed. The conversation never came up.

I've had that a couple of times too. I've also had 4 people who know me very well (and who all bf their children) tell me I mustn't (had lots of problems with bf last time and struggled to do it for 12 weeks).

I'm letting it all wash over me and will decide what is best for me at the time. Last time I wasted far too much energy and time worrying what other people thought about bf v ff.

You do become public property, for some reason, once you are pg.

I tried to BF my son and it was a disaster. When it came to my daughter I was determined no-one was going to tell me what to do so I bottle fed. She was an absolute dream, the perfect baby. Do what you want not what anyone else wants. By the way can you tell a bottle fed baby from a breast fed baby by looking at them.

'By the way can you tell a bottle fed baby from a breast fed baby by looking at them.'

erm, how exactly?

Pray do tell, deste?

deste was asking a question, not making a statement. By the way can you tell a bottle fed baby from a breast fed baby by looking at them.

It's a question isn't it?

ah, sorry deste, totally misread it

Oh but you must breastfeed, llisa!!

Ignore them. Do what seems best at the time.

i dont think you can tell IMO the only thing i noticed is that FF babies sometimes get more 'milk spots' on their face but sometimes they dont so who knows... my BF had a DS and FF and his face was covered in milk spots and i BF my DD and she only got one or two...it isnt really that noticable i dont think
xx ei xx

Tell them you are doing neither but are going to employ a wet nurse, that will shut them up

PMSL at wet nurse idea

LOL SannaG.

You will be lectured by everyone on every parenting topic going.

I am blunt and to the point when I answer. My favourite was when people would ask if I wanted to know if I was having a boy or a girl, I would say no I will be happy with a baby of any type - as long as it is Human! They would then invariably have a guess and tell me - "Ohh thats a boy, look at how you are carrying him" etc etc. I would than ask them "why is it that when I have just said I don't want to know, do you feel the need to tell me and spoil the suprise?" That shuts people up quite well.

On the BFing thing - most people find it tough going to start with, some find it easy from day one. Some struggle for weeks some sail though months. Everyone is different and my only advice on the subject is to take one day at a time once LO is here and see what is right for you both.

Congrats and good luck!

I couldn't BF - I refuse to feel guilty that DS was a FF baby.

He is now 5 and the skinniest / tallest in his class so that poo-poos the theory that FF kids are fat!

Just put your fingers in your ears and say "la la la la I'm not listening!" lol!