to be fed-up with people telling me that I MUST breastfeed!

[llisa]

I am only four months pregnant with first baby but I am so sick of being lectured by friends, family (DH's not mine), work colleagues etc as to why I must breastfeed! I fully intend to give bf a go but I refuse to a)worry about it this early on and b) beat myself up about it if it doesn't work out. I will be quite happy with a healthy baby who's putting on weight, happy etc.. In the mean time I am having to endure MIL, friends etc telling me I will stay fat if I don't bf, baby will be a fat child if I don't, baby will get sick if I don't, I will be a bad mother if I don't etc GRRRRR.
Is it only me or are other people finding that being pregnant means other people feel free to express their unwanted opinions/views on pregnancy birth and child rearing!?!

callmeovercautious, I had several of hubby's work colleagues assuring me we would be having a boy, based on the scan photo, made me laugh this week when found out baby is a girl.

I can tell a bottle fed baby from a breast fed baby

Lol we wanted to know the sex but at 20 weeks DS had his legs crossed. Had another scan at 34 weeks, very detailed as you can imagine with him being so much older. She stopped with the wand obviously between his legs, "dooh-dahs" as she called them clearly on show, and said "Did you want to know the sex?"

Oh and got sidetracked
I was going to make the flippant comment "one has a bottle in his mouth and the other a breast" but I suppose the bottle could be EBM . So no, I can't tell.
I think I need to go and clean my kitchen.

i'm also pg with first and on tues i went to a BF class held at my local hospital. at the beginning of the session, we were divided into three groups: grp 1: write list of how BF good for baby. grp 2: write list of how BF good for mum. grp 3: write list of how BF good for society.... that last one made me laugh, but not as much as one of the answers given by the good-for-mum group: "alleviates guilt" !!!!

which is a shame stealth as that would have been a very funny gag. i'll call the taxi

sadly it will carry on. put a smile on your face while you listen, whilst mentally wishing them a plague of warts. much more satisfying than thinking pleasant thoughts.

My boss - middle aged man, 2 children - is terrible for asking women questions about 'how they feed baby'. Pillock.

NO YANBU ! I had a similar thing with dd as MIL decided that I was going to breastfeed, walk around with baby slung on my back and that was after I'd 'free-birthed' in the living room Needless to say it wasn't like that at all - I had emergency c-section, a massive infection- separated from dd for 3 days and then contracted severe reactive arthritis.

She wanted me to live HER idea of childbirth and rearing. And now I'm pregnant with dc2 I'm having to tell her to back off - as it all isn't worth beating yourself up about..do whats right for you and your baby.

Wish I'd been as positive and as strong as you right from the beginning. Got myself into a right pickle over it all - and talk about feel a failure! x

Now you've made me laugh it does just nark me a little that everyone knows better than you esp. one single friend sans children and SIL is paediatrician expecting 1st baby at a similar time and being very supersilious about everything!
being the contrary creature i am in stead of smilimg and nodding I always want to make outlandish statements like 'oh no I'm going to bottle feed and have a boob job!?!'

Hey, llisa - sorry you're feeling got at.

I posted about this kind of thing on my blog the other day - you might find this quote useful:

There is a fine line between recounting one?s experience and telling someone else to do the same thing, I think. Baz Luhrmann had it right, I think, in his song, Everybody?s Free (To Wear Sunscreen):

?Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.?

*

Although you do say that you refuse to think about it this early, it might be an idea to read a bit about bf and what you can expect - there are some links to stuff on my blog. I know many, many women who really regret not spending time reading about bf in pregnancy, so that would be my one tip. Sorry if it's not welcome

As for the comment about staying fat. I didn't lose any weight until i stopped BF my dd so bf doesn't help you to lose weight (in my experiance anyway.)

It doesnt help you lose weight. It uses up calories but if you're not exercising and you're eating lots you won't lose weight.
I never lost weight either but that doesn't mean bf doesn't use up extra calories.

I bf ds for almost 8 mths and only lost weight when I stopped. YANBU - people are too interfering. I had a lot of problems bf ds as he was always on the breast and it was so tiring. I since found out that I have an underactive thyroid so I suppose that could've interfered with the milk supply. I wish I had switched to formula much earlier. He seemed happier on it, and I certainly was.

wow! read hunkermunker's link if you haven't already. if someone had told me that bit about why breastfeeding's not just a food for the baby it would have made so much more sense.

sorry, thread hijack.

but you MUST
so they are right

welcome to the world of being pregnant! These are the main topics you will be lectured on:

1: BF
2: routine Vs demand feeding
3: Sleep
4: Nappy brand
5: cotton wool or wipes?
6: DH's contribution
7: birth plan - yes or no?

and that's before the LO is born!

But seriously - go with your instincts. That was the best bit of advice I had

xx