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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel uncomfortable using this Hotel toilet?

131 replies

N1C · 27/09/2022 23:07

Staying 7 nights with DH in a 4 star hotel in Mallorca, Spain. We may be married but I don't feel comfortable with doing my business in this toilet while he is in the room. There is a gap on every side of the door and it does not close completely.

Is this a standard setup in hotels in Spain or do you think I'm not being unreasonable and it's very odd?

See photo attached.

To feel uncomfortable using this Hotel toilet?
OP posts:
FeralWitch · 28/09/2022 07:23

Must be a Mallorcan thing. We had an en-suite with no door.

We used to take it in turns to go and sit on the balcony at first

emmathedilemma · 28/09/2022 07:33

YANBU I’m just back from holiday and the bathroom door had a frosted glass door that didn’t fit into the frame - it actually swung open in both directions. I was sharing with my friend. Not ideal!!
although we did do a test to check how transparent the glass was 😵

PercyPigglet · 28/09/2022 07:37

I have been with my partner 18 years and would never use the loo in front of him even for a number one lol if u are worried about the sound maybe take your mobile to the loo and play the radio or music loud that's what I do when we stay in hotels.... I know people may laugh but I honestly don't care lol xx

Wombat100 · 28/09/2022 07:39

YANBU. I’d hate this and I’m married….I still don’t feel the need for either of us to share what goes on in the bathroom!!

SpaceyCake · 28/09/2022 07:43

YANBU. This would wind me up so much and our marriage is great. I think I'm like this because my mum was always really discreet about toilet related things. 🙈 I would be fine with a wee, but would probably just ask DH to pop out for a mo if I needed a poo.

LovinglifeAF · 28/09/2022 07:44

I don’t think I that looks too bad but I’m with you I like privacy for going to the toilet and I don’t want close quarters with my OH’s toileting either. I don’t see why being married means we can’t expect to pee and poo in privacy.

fantasmasgoria1 · 28/09/2022 07:45

All I would do is put a bit of loo roll in the toilet first to dampen the sound. I fart , burp and if my husband is in the bath and I need.to wee then I go.

Redkettle · 28/09/2022 07:45

Went on holiday with my DH and it was luxury accommodation but curtain separated bathroom from bedroom. Had to wait for him to get up before felt comfortable going. Another one here who doesn't fart or use toilet in front of husband. He doesn't either which I'm glad about as the less I know about his bowels the better for the marriage .

womaninatightspot · 28/09/2022 07:47

Not a fan. I stayed in a place in Barcelona which had an enormous window over the bath to the bedroom with blinds inside that you couldn't close. It was like watching a peep show whenever my boyfriend had a shower.

PanPacificBallroomChampion · 28/09/2022 07:49

We stayed in a hotel in Paris where the bathroom and toilet walls were glass, not frosted either, clear bloody glass.

RosesAndHellebores · 28/09/2022 07:49

I'd be more irked about the sub standard looking accommodation at 4* prices than the practicalities.

AnnieJ1985 · 28/09/2022 07:50

We stay in the same hotel in Majorca a lot, which has a lovely, big, solid, bathroom with a heavy lock door. Last year it hadn't reopened after lockdown, so we stayed elsewhere, which had frosted glass cubicle toilet and shower in the room. Really didn't like it.

We're together a long time, we have over the years seen each other puke and whatnot, but I don't want to poo in the corner of a bedroom. Even staying on my own, I would prefer a separate bathroom.

We went back to our usual hotel this year

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 28/09/2022 07:50

Howling at some of these responses!

OP never go to America, this is what public toilets look like and yes people end up accidentally seeing you on the loo

To feel uncomfortable using this Hotel toilet?
ReneBumsWombats · 28/09/2022 07:51

That's a 4* room?

IrisAtwood · 28/09/2022 07:53

Think yourself lucky I once stayed at a hotel in Germany which had a large glass window in the bathroom that looked onto the bed 🤣

gretr · 28/09/2022 07:57

I have bowel disease so my husband is fully aware of my bodily functions. Once it was so bad and painful he held my hand as I was sobbing on the toilet. I’m not sure why people equate dignity with pretending you don’t poo?

TooManyMoronsHere · 28/09/2022 07:59

Good luck holding your shit in for the duration of your holiday!

QueSyrahSyrah · 28/09/2022 08:05

@WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps Why are you so angry about people who make different choices to you. It's weirdly defensive, honestly.

My DH and I know the other is human, we live in a small flat, smells get around, farts slip out, stomach bugs happen, more than once I've unexpectedly come on mid-shag and covered him in blood.

We're grown ups who know and understand all of the above but we choose to be discreet where there's a choice. I know full well he shits but I don't want to see it happening. He knows I use tampons but I don't expect he wants to watch me change one.

We shag like rabbits by the way, lights on and no marigolds. I've never in my life been more comfortable with another human. I can tell him everything, I could show him anything, we would happily nurse each other through a bout of D&V, we'd just both rather that we never need to.

The bathroom door in the OP is no issue because we're comfortable enough to say 'I'm going to the toilet, might be a good time to go on the balcony' which is our code for 'it's not a wee, please give me some space for 5 minutes'.

I assume from your attitude that you don't even have bathroom doors at home then? Just wide open spaces for all-comers and any kind of privacy be damned?

BatteryPoweredMammy · 28/09/2022 08:09

Take your phone in and play music so he can’t hear you, if you feel uncomfortable.

It really wouldn’t bother me as I often leave the bathroom doors open at home. I do remember to close them when DS has his pals around though.

Moveoverdarlin · 28/09/2022 08:16

If I was sharing with a colleague I would be mortified. I also have a bowel condition and live with chronic diarrhoea. But me and my husband would have a jolly good laugh about this. He would say ‘watch out, take cover’ or something similar as I entered the bathroom. I would say something equally insulting when he did his business. Wouldn’t bother me at all.

BoxOfCats · 28/09/2022 08:17

Make a Spotify playlist and play it while you are in there to mask the sound.

Snoop Dogg - "Drop it like it's hot"
Salt N Pepa - "Push It"
Surfaris- "Wipe Out"
Johnny Cash - "Ring of Fire"

diddl · 28/09/2022 08:31

Just ask him to go out onto the balcony!

I would have said that I'm not usually bothered about this tbh but realised that unless it's a wee I do lock the door as I tend to like to wipe my arse in peace!

OnLockdown · 28/09/2022 08:34

I went on holiday with a friend once. We stayed in a twin room and the bathroom didn't even have a door! Just a decorative arch. It wasn't in site of the main bedroom but we both still ended up constipated.

Choconut · 28/09/2022 08:37

If my dh expects his cock/cum anywhere near my vagina/mouth then he needs to be able to cope with any smells and sounds I produce.

God i couldn't imagine giving birth in front of someone who I was that uncomfortable with - even apart from the fact that a lot of people (including me) shit themselves and have no idea.

BMW6 · 28/09/2022 08:40

To get rid of smell strike a match or two. It burns off the methane.