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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel uncomfortable using this Hotel toilet?

131 replies

N1C · 27/09/2022 23:07

Staying 7 nights with DH in a 4 star hotel in Mallorca, Spain. We may be married but I don't feel comfortable with doing my business in this toilet while he is in the room. There is a gap on every side of the door and it does not close completely.

Is this a standard setup in hotels in Spain or do you think I'm not being unreasonable and it's very odd?

See photo attached.

To feel uncomfortable using this Hotel toilet?
OP posts:
Corrosive · 28/09/2022 02:03

I'm with you OP.
My husband has seen me give birth and we've had a lot of sex over the last 40 years so it's nothing to do with being embarrassed or ashamed of bodily functions. It's just I like some privacy when I go to the loo.
Sometimes it can smell when I have a shit and I don't want that in my bedroom for myself let alone my husband. That's me being polite not ashamed.
I turn the shower on and then use the loo.

KosherDill · 28/09/2022 02:19

FatPatsCat · 27/09/2022 23:14

I was the same as you during my marriage OP - never even passed wind in front of him!

I used to use the toilets in the reception area if that's an option 😂

Fully aware I'll have the piss taken out of me but oh well!

I agree.

Last spring my sister and I, sharing a room, demanded a different room due to gaps like that. And we've known one another for 50 years.

No way I'm defecating where my lover might catch a glimpse or be subject to any sounds.

Good for you for having standards of privacy.

KosherDill · 28/09/2022 02:22

StoneofDestiny · 27/09/2022 23:44

TBH- I find it odd that married couples feel unable to fart, burp and wee in ear shot of each other!

I find it odd people want to do any of that in ear shot of their partner or imagine it's attractive behaviour. I don't want to hear mine eat or sniff either. Nothing wrong with manners - imagine the newsreader farting and burping through the broadcast, or your kids teachers doing it in front of the class, or the person on the train seat next to you.

Agree. We like to keep some dignity and mystique going.

Defender90 · 28/09/2022 03:13

I feel your pain. This was a door in a hotel room loo from earlier this week. DH had to wedge it closed (this was the result) to stop it just sliding open - I do need peace to poop, it's a quirk of mine. I can't help it. I'll fart freely in front of him and pee with the door open but I'm set in my poop ways.

To feel uncomfortable using this Hotel toilet?
MothsAndWaspsAreUsefulPollinators · 28/09/2022 03:40

YABU

TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 28/09/2022 03:40

Under normal circumstances i.e. not sick with D&V etc, I literally can't poo if I have an audience, including anyone in earshot. It won't come out. If in close quarters with someone else for a few days I need to find some private time or can get very bound up.

So it's not always about being prissy - just the way some people's bodies work (or don't work!).

EntertainingandFactual · 28/09/2022 04:15

if it’s the smell you are worried about you need ‘poo pourri’ spray - spray before you go. Failing that, a spray of cheap perfume in the bowl might help.
Flush as soon as you go? Then flush again when you’ve finished…
If you’re still worried about stinking the main room out, use the reception toilet for anything other than a wee.

Chloefairydust · 28/09/2022 04:25

I stayed in a hotel with a toilet door just like this when I was on holiday with my partner earlier this year… It didn’t bother me because we are quite comfortable around each other now, but I remember looking at the door thinking how much it would have bothered me in the early days of our relationship.

When we first started dating I would be really uncomfortable pooping when staying over his house, actually got pretty constipated as I just couldn’t go in his house lol. Eventually I got over it but would do certain tricks to make it more discreet, like running the tap to disguise noises, putting toilet paper the bottom of the toilet to stop any plop noises and if I felt I needed to fart on the toilet would muffle it with some toilet paper… I think he actually believed that I never pooed 🤣

However now this sort of thing doesn’t bother me, we have been together 5 years and I no longer feel the need to keep up the pretence that girls don’t poo lol.

EntertainingandFactual · 28/09/2022 04:31

Toilet Sounds (wee or poo) aren’t a problem but I can’t stand it when DH leaves the door open after he’s been in for a s**t. Stinking the hallway out. Close the door and keep the smell in FFS!
If there are gaps in the door that’s not possible.

EntertainingandFactual · 28/09/2022 04:32

Chloefairydust · 28/09/2022 04:25

I stayed in a hotel with a toilet door just like this when I was on holiday with my partner earlier this year… It didn’t bother me because we are quite comfortable around each other now, but I remember looking at the door thinking how much it would have bothered me in the early days of our relationship.

When we first started dating I would be really uncomfortable pooping when staying over his house, actually got pretty constipated as I just couldn’t go in his house lol. Eventually I got over it but would do certain tricks to make it more discreet, like running the tap to disguise noises, putting toilet paper the bottom of the toilet to stop any plop noises and if I felt I needed to fart on the toilet would muffle it with some toilet paper… I think he actually believed that I never pooed 🤣

However now this sort of thing doesn’t bother me, we have been together 5 years and I no longer feel the need to keep up the pretence that girls don’t poo lol.

I do all of the above! 🤣

Draughtycatflapreturns · 28/09/2022 05:12

Who wants to poop in a bathroom with no privacy. Not me. Horribly uncivilised. If I’m in a hotel like that I wait till it’s dark and poop over the balcony.

onlythreenow · 28/09/2022 05:40

YABU - each to his/her own, but I can't understand partners who can't even go to the toilet in front of each other. I'm sure your DH has better things to do than watch you wee!!

PrickStick · 28/09/2022 06:09

Draughtycatflapreturns · 28/09/2022 05:12

Who wants to poop in a bathroom with no privacy. Not me. Horribly uncivilised. If I’m in a hotel like that I wait till it’s dark and poop over the balcony.

😂😂😂

maddiemookins16mum · 28/09/2022 06:21

Ha ha, we’re currently in Majorca too and our bathroom door is just a pull too and is shaded glass. DH is currently pooing.

maddiemookins16mum · 28/09/2022 06:23

OMG, just looked at your photo again, I think we might be in the same hotel!!

tranquiltortoise · 28/09/2022 06:23

YANBU.

Everyone is different in terms of the privacy they want and some people on this thread are being really insensitive, questioning your marriage because of this - how ridiculous. Some people are comfortable with hearing/ seeing each other on the loo and some aren't - doesn't mean anything - it's more about upbringing/ personality than anything else!

If you have a bowel condition that makes it even worse and something you might feel self conscious about even in front of your spouse. I understand.

I guess whoever installed this door was in the camp of not caring though, and assumed everyone else is the same!

Can you just ask him to put some headphones in or put the TV on whilst you are in there?

notdaddycool · 28/09/2022 06:37

Send him down to get something from reception whenever you need a crap. It’s not perfect but I’ve seen far worse.

ChilliBandit · 28/09/2022 06:44

I could never imagine being so uncomfortable with my own partner or embarrassed of my own bodily functions that I couldn’t use the toilet whilst he was in the next room, what kind of life is that Confused Bet your DH doesn’t care about you being in the next room when he uses it.

As for the news reader or teacher examples, WTAF. How is that any way comparable. People continue to blow my mind every day.

WhoopItUp · 28/09/2022 06:46

My dentist surgery has a door like that. I always go now before I leave home!

VIP is your friend on the smell front…..

3ShotsOfEspresso · 28/09/2022 06:55

YANBU!!

My DH and I stayed in a hotel in the UK that had a similar set-up. Frosted glass unit right in the middle of the room: Sure, we could manage, but talk about romantic mood-killer! 🤣 I love my DH but I do NOT need to see his frosted silhouette pooping for 20 minutes (#blokesandhowtheypoop) on a romantic weekend away.

We moved to a smaller room with a separate bathroom. Good luck!!!

BarbaraofSeville · 28/09/2022 07:00

FFS all those of you suggesting you turn the tap or shower on to mask the noise.

Mallorca,like much of Spain is desperately short of water and suffering the worst drought in decades. Don't waste water like this due to your preciousness about normal bodily functions.

He knows what you're doing in there, get over yourself.

Alleycat1 · 28/09/2022 07:05

Yanbu. What is it with frosted doors, gaps etc.? Married or not who wants to see, hear, smell someone taking a dump!

Samarie123 · 28/09/2022 07:08

YANBU I would hate that too OP. Do all the rooms come like that? I would ask to move to a room where the toilet door shuts tight. I wouldn't wanna hear or smell my DP farting and crapping nor would I wanna be heard!

CatchersAndDreams · 28/09/2022 07:11

I stayed eith an ex in an Ibis hotel in Cardiff once. I thought it was like a travel lodge..

The loo and shower was in the same room! No door at all!

mountainsunsets · 28/09/2022 07:20

All these suggestions of spraying impulse or perfume everywhere - all that will do is make it smell like floral chemical shit instead 🤣