Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

Niece + Nephew didn't say thank you for birthday money

137 replies

Irishfarmer · 26/09/2022 10:37

That pretty much AIBU that they didn't say thanks?

My niece + nephew both turned 18 in August. I posed them each a card with €40 but I never heard anything back. I was then down home at party over the weekend and met them. I was chatting to them and asked how their birthdays went, they celebrated together, and said 'did my cards arrive', niece 'ya it did', nephew just nodded. I'm a bit pissed off that they didn't say it did, thank you. It's a while since I was 18 but I am fairly sure I said thanks when someone gave me a card with money!

OP posts:

Jill84 · 28/09/2022 19:46

I had a similar thing, have always given my god daughter birthday and xmas gifts. Went to alot of effort during the first lockdown to make her a lovely, pretty expensive, hamper delivered to her house for her 10th birthday (whilst on furlough, not earning A great deal) and didn't even get a thank you from her or her parents, so haven't given anything since. And they have stopped giving gifts to my kids too. Makes my life easier tbh, but still a shame! I thank everyone for gifts given to any of my family, its the way I was brought up!

simonwiseman · 28/09/2022 19:51

A recognizing would have been nice. But, the kids/young adults of today think they are deserved. Don't take it to heart, even though I know it hurts you, next year don't even give them cards.....what goes around etc.

simonwiseman · 28/09/2022 19:55

Can i be your God son..........I have never God parents 😓
But seriously, you should not stress, people just use and abuse.
It's honest people like you and I that keep the world steady. xx

Mariposista · 28/09/2022 21:45

SparklingLime · 28/09/2022 10:20

Exactly this. I feel so bad for my elderly mum when she doesn’t get any kind of thank you. It’s a real effort for her to buy, wrap and send a present and then… silence.

Show quote history

I just don't get how anyone could do it. If writing a card and sticking it in the post is too onerous, couldn't they at least manage a quick 5 minute phonecall?

PermanentTemporary · 28/09/2022 23:21

I would actually prefer a phone call, both to me and to elderly relatives (I suppose I am the elderly relative now). Beats me how people can be ok not doing it.

Batiqueattic · 29/09/2022 00:02

My niece & nephew were the same. I said (texted coz am a bit cowardly) the next gift you don't thank me for will be the last I ever send you. And it was. I still see them. We still get on. It's as tho it either didn't happen or that's just normal behaviour. Sad, really. They just seem apathetic about everything.

caringcarer · 29/09/2022 00:37

I never put money in cards anymore just pop it straight into their bank accounts. I hate rude children. My dgc get birthday gifts sent to them by all 4 of my sisters. I would be furious if my dd did not thank her Aunties. She usually sends a photo of birthday boy and the eldest writes thank you and youngest draws a picture and she writes on address and adds a thank you for your kind gift. My nieces and nephews all either text or ring to thank me for birthday money. Manners cost nothing and will get you a long way in life. There is just no excuse for rude ungrateful behaviour. Children should be brought up to thank those who do them a kindness, like open a door for them or make them a drink.

SparklingLime · 29/09/2022 01:23

Mariposista · 28/09/2022 21:45

I just don't get how anyone could do it. If writing a card and sticking it in the post is too onerous, couldn't they at least manage a quick 5 minute phonecall?

Show quote history

She’d love that, but only expects a text. When she raised it my sis gave her a little lecture on how fussing about thank yous is so wrong.

Canthave2manycats · 01/10/2022 00:33

I don't recall ever getting a direct 'thanks' from any of my nieces or nephews for money sent to them for whatever. I have sent thanks and they have done too.

The one that slightly irks me is, a cousin's DD. Ordinarily we would have been invited to at least the evening 'do' but with Covid, it wasn't an option. However, 2 years + after the wedding, I am still waiting for a 'thank you' for the fairly generous present, even though my cousin has messaged to say that the gift has been used and much admired!

SparklingLime · 01/10/2022 09:01

I don’t understand “I have sent thanks and they have done too.“ @Canthave2manycats ?

Original poster

Irishfarmer · 03/10/2022 11:35

I doubt the money was stole from both cards. It just seems very unlikely. They don't live in the same house they are cousins not brother/sister.

OP posts:

pfs · 03/10/2022 13:13

I doubt the money was stole from both cards. It just seems very unlikely

this, it amazes me the excuses that come up on mn over these situations. Like when a poster says she didn't get an invite people say ''perhaps it got lost in the post/''' MMm very unlikely.

Or when people don't get invites people say ''ask them why not.'' In real like it's never simple to do that and it looks needy.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6