Niece + Nephew didn't say thank you for birthday money

[Irishfarmer]

That pretty much AIBU that they didn't say thanks?

My niece + nephew both turned 18 in August. I posed them each a card with €40 but I never heard anything back. I was then down home at party over the weekend and met them. I was chatting to them and asked how their birthdays went, they celebrated together, and said 'did my cards arrive', niece 'ya it did', nephew just nodded. I'm a bit pissed off that they didn't say it did, thank you. It's a while since I was 18 but I am fairly sure I said thanks when someone gave me a card with money!

If there is a next time OP, write in the card "buy yourself something nice with the enclosed" without enclosing any cash. They'll be on the phone pretty fast!

Just to add to others saying it I've had bday money stolen before!

This is the first year I haven't sent DN anything for her birthday she's just turned 20. I'm done with it they so rarely say thank you I think I've had five thanks in all those years. So bloody rude. They appear to think life is a gravy train and you should be grateful for simply knowing them.....

I'm definitely doing this for the next niece/nephews birthday!
Although I get the feeling they just open the card, shake it to see if there's any cash in it and toss to the side 🤣

Nooo. Irish weddings are totally worth the gift money compared to the far more boring English weddings. 😂

DH texted nephew " Can't believe you are now 18 and a half! Did you get our card/money on your birthday as we haven't heard anything?"
Nephew "yeah"

I find it hard NOT to include another word after yes when texting! At least it has saved me £100 on his 21st.

My niece and nephew did this. Two years in a row so now they get a Facebook birthday wish.

Important lesson to learn I think.

Can't you mention it to his mum or dad that's so rude.

YANBU. I would not necessarily expect formal thank you letters these days, but not even saying thank you when they met you!- yes, that's pretty rude.

@CuteCillian that's so rude! Seems like it doesn't even occur to the nephew to type the word 'thanks', it seems so obvious to normally socialised people, why has he not picked this up by 18?

What, if anything, did your DH reply back to him? I would be fuming.

My nephews are twice that age and I had to ask if they received the presents I sent as there was no thank you. Won't make that mistake again. It's just so rude not to say thank you.

A thank you is always the only polite way to go when someone gives you a gift. Cash included.

Doesn’t matter what amount you think is standard- you still say thank you.

That will save you some money next year then! How rude.

yes exactly or mentioned it to their parents.

Hope you get your thanks OP.

I used to do a bank transfer to my cousin's DD for each of her children's birthdays. Then a note in the card to let her know. I never heard anything back, not even a text or fb message.

Now she gets a message saying I've donated to a local charity. I haven't heard a word from her for four years, and will stop sending cards when the children are past primary school. I doubt if they know who I am anyway.

Another one who has experienced similar, our nephew never bothered to say thankyou for his Christmas gift, so we didn't get him a birthday gift afew months later.He didn't like it I expect as the other aunties and uncles probably did, but he is 19 anyway now and never bothers to have anything to do with us.
I was taught from an early age that when someone gives you a gift you say thankyou, regardless of the amount spent or whether you like it.I used to be made to sit down religiously after every birthday and Christmas writing thankyou letters, and that's no bad thing!

It feels worse now that thank you can be sent by text, taking 30 seconds and avoiding even a phone call or really any effort at all.

@SparklingLime I think that is what hurts the most. Whenever I see my nieces & nephews, they're all literally glued to their phones.
But it's impossible for them to send a quick thank you message.
I'm so fed up of having to message them "did you get your card/present/money ok?", to eventually get a "yeah thanks"

I'm still waiting on a thank you from my cousin for her wedding present over a year ago so I'm guessing nobody says thank you any more!

It feels worse now that thank you can be sent by text, taking 30 seconds and avoiding even a phone call or really any effort at all

Exactly; nobody expects something written in blood on vellum, but just a text would do
Easier still to do it as each gift is received, so the job doesn't pile up and there's no chance of forgetting anyone ... except it seems even that's too much effort for some

YANBU but you should have brought it up with them at the time. When they said yeah it did, you should have said something like “it’s okay you don’t need to say thank you, ungrateful twit” 😂

£40 is plenty, more than enough.

I don't give over 50 euros for a birthday unless they're my god child/niece.

They're very rude, there is no excuse for their behaviour.

And then done the whole child like “and what do you say…..?”

literally forced them to say thank.

Love this 😀

18 is a good age to stop, after that they get a token gift only if we’re with them. We always get thank you letters even if they are sometimes a month or two late.

I finally snapped this year when I sent out 14 vouchers for dn and dn and dgn's and dgnephew's Christmas and only 1 dn thanked me.
Just a quick WhatsApp so I know it's been received would be fine.
Anyway no birthday gifts have been sent.
I'm done with the rudeness.
Should be a much cheaper Christmas too.

This is why I stop giving nephews and nieces presents at 18. I got tired of presents never being acknowledged or finding out if they had arrived.

My sister's kids do thank me and i make ds do it. I note that my brother and dh's brother don't seem to have bothered teaching this skill and I'm not impressed.