Niece + Nephew didn't say thank you for birthday money

[Irishfarmer]

That pretty much AIBU that they didn't say thanks?

My niece + nephew both turned 18 in August. I posed them each a card with €40 but I never heard anything back. I was then down home at party over the weekend and met them. I was chatting to them and asked how their birthdays went, they celebrated together, and said 'did my cards arrive', niece 'ya it did', nephew just nodded. I'm a bit pissed off that they didn't say it did, thank you. It's a while since I was 18 but I am fairly sure I said thanks when someone gave me a card with money!

I mean it’s rude but they’re teens. They’ll grow out of it

Mine were the same - I stopped sending presents.

I had this with one of my nieces. It’s not even that I expect/ want gratitude, but would like her to extend the courtesy of letting me know the card and money has arrived. She is always on SM so a matter of seconds to send me a one sentence message.
I carried on until well after she had her own children, mostly because her sibling always messaged, and I didn’t want to penalise them.
I have now stopped birthday and Christmas money for them both due to increased cost of living.

Surely then, you'd err on the side of caution - 'I got your birthday card; thank you so much' would cover it.

Rude.

The cards arrived, they acknowledged that so even if they were empty they should have said thanks when you asked. 40 euros is very generous especially when there is two of them if they can't see that then the adult world will come as a shock to them! From now on a think a card is appropriate.

It would be empty cards from now on at Xmas and birthdays op. Manners cost nowt.

My teen DNs are the same...I've recently stopped sending any cash or gifts tbh as it doesn't seem to be appreciated at all. I have one of them on Facebook so they could easily drop me a quick thanks!

They definitely should have thanked you, even if you had sent only a card, regardless of their views on amounts of money or whatever. I wouldn't bother again, they're 18 now, until they get married or have a baby (presumably involving other people, not suggesting anything else!), you're off the hook.

I really wouldn't say that is the norm in Ireland.

@Irishfarmer they should have said thank you, but the pair of them not saying thank you indicates a bit more of an issue with the parents doesn’t it. I think young people can be thoughtless, without meaning to be at all, I’m sure it’s not at all personal and they will likely grow out of it. Gifts are often difficult, best to try and give without any expectation of receiving anything in return- even a thank you, that way it feels better when you do get a thank you.

Same here, no response from 3 out of 4 nephews even when sent £100 for big birthday. No acknowledgement at Christmas either. My DC are a bit younger so I remind them now to send their own thank you text and I hope this sinks in as a habit for when they’re grown ups.

€500 for weddings and €100 for big birthdays is absolutely not the norm in Ireland!

OP I'm in Ireland and have nieces and nephews of a similar age. This is rude. I would get a thank you text.

I would always remind my children to text or call if they get a card. 40e is plenty for an 18th birthday in Ireland.

Last Christmas I put a lot of thought and some effort into a personalised present for my 26 year old niece. Not one word of thanks and I certainly won't do it again, she'll get a generic gift next time.

Next time just send a card no money.

I would me too to their parents and tell them you won't be giving any in the future

@whythou111

They've clearly been brought up without having thank you drummed into them, but at 18 they're old enough to know to say thank you when somebody sends you money or a gift.

I've been pretty taken aback lately at young people's total lack of basic training. 2 recent weddings and no acknowledgement of the gifts, one of which was a wedge of money (as asked for) and another a lovely gift from their wedding list. We did not attend either wedding but still, send a fucking thank you message, right?

I was going to post something similar. YANBU at all.

I have 8 nieces/nephews - I always remember birthdays without fail, card and money (£30 each) at Birthdays and Xmas. Not much but it adds up when there's 8 of them.

This year I didn't get one single thank you, like it's just expected I'll be sending it. I've told my DSs that this is the last year I'm doing it ( I don't have DC) and won't expect anything for birthdays either. It's so rude to not even get a thanks.

Rude little shits.

That would definitely be the last time I gave them anything to be honest

Bloody glad to hear it! Thought it sounded a bit off.

I think you misunderstood. They're not 18 months old.

I wouldn't send her a gift at all!