Page 16 | To think a lot of women are worse off than 50 years ago?

Tsort · 2022-09-24T22:53:42+00:00

A certain type of person is nostalgic for the old days when ‘men were men, and women were women’. I am not. However, it must be noted that at the time when women were expected to be docile acquiescent homemakers, men were expected to foot the bill. They paid for dinner, sorted the mortgage and brought home the bacon. Not for me, but a fair division of labour. Now, we have a generation of women who ‘pay their way’, go Dutch and refuse to let men pay for them as they don’t want to be indebted. Grand. But, these same women *also* do the lion’s share of housework, because ‘men don’t see it’ and shoulder the emotional labour because ‘that’s just the way men are’. So, women are now shouldering some of the traditionally male burdens while the traditional female burdens have remained firmly in place. How is this an improvement for women? And why do so many tolerate it? This is a profound misunderstanding of feminism and it hurts so many of us.

Topgub · 25/09/2022 12:45

That's what you do and you'd be exhausted working as well?

🤣🤣

I'd be wanting a refund if I was your oh.

bob78 · 25/09/2022 12:46

@Linning great post, I don't think anyone has mentioned other marginalised groups thus far.

If we understate the progress that's been made we risk taking it for granted, and just look how that has turned out in the US over abortion.

keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth · 25/09/2022 12:46

bob78 · 25/09/2022 12:39

@keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth no I'm not, but you know me better than me? So what, I'm lying?

No, you've told me you choose to do your job and I said we both know you're the exception. You're looking for a fight but I don't want one.

But I have seen many posts on here about women not feeling they can continue with full-time work, they're usually 50-odd, but they have another 15 years left of full-time work.

Make of it what you will but when I'm that age I expect hubby will be retired and we'll have a few properties and our children will want to spend a lot of their time with us.

I'm just not sure most working mothers can say the same.

Sisisisi · 25/09/2022 12:51

TinaPoopsy52 · 25/09/2022 12:40

@Sisisisi

I think they probably really thought that. I don’t think they were bitter. A lot of older women think like that and it’s not bitterness or sarcasm.

Im not saying they’re right, or wrong to like their way, but they’re wrong to be so condescending. But I don’t think it comes from a place of bitterness, I really think many just think they’re better than working women and that there time was better. A lot of people think they know best about all kinds of things I guess.

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WelI was there and they are fucking furious!
Angry that younger women have more choices than them.

bob78 · 25/09/2022 12:51

@keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth you do realise MN isn't representative of life, of course you get the negative stuff people are here to vent. I'm not saying it's easy being a full time career parent for everyone, but many of us choose it as you have chosen your life, but for you to claim career women are detached from their children is unsubstantiated and spiteful, that is just your own insecurity bubbling to the surface. I could retort with nasty generalisations of SAHMs, you've made it easy enough with some of your very dated opinions, but I'm not going to sink to your level, and I equally know my perceptions are just that, and not reality and I wouldn't use them to try to belittle someone.

runwalk · 25/09/2022 12:52

You must see you are funny Topgub.

MN poster - I am a SAHM

Topgub - <head spins> - your DH needs to do 50/50 childcare. This us not eeeeequaaaal! SEXIST!!!!

MN poster - Well, he's on an oil rig until next March, so....

Topgub - but why isn't he doing 50/50?

MN poster - because you know, of being on the oil rig?

Topgub - but why isn't he doing 50/50? Why isn't he doing 50/50? Why isn't he doing 50/50?

.............

(ad infinitum until 1000 posts when everyone has left the thread)

Marvellousmadness · 25/09/2022 12:53

Yeah. Id really like to go back there

NOT

🤣

Please get a grip op

keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth · 25/09/2022 12:53

Topgub · 25/09/2022 12:45

That's what you do and you'd be exhausted working as well?

🤣🤣

I'd be wanting a refund if I was your oh.

No because see I look fantastic and I'm his best friend and mother of his children and loved by his family and it's all reciprocal.

keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth · 25/09/2022 12:55

bob78 · 25/09/2022 12:51

@keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth you do realise MN isn't representative of life, of course you get the negative stuff people are here to vent. I'm not saying it's easy being a full time career parent for everyone, but many of us choose it as you have chosen your life, but for you to claim career women are detached from their children is unsubstantiated and spiteful, that is just your own insecurity bubbling to the surface. I could retort with nasty generalisations of SAHMs, you've made it easy enough with some of your very dated opinions, but I'm not going to sink to your level, and I equally know my perceptions are just that, and not reality and I wouldn't use them to try to belittle someone.

It's a sample. Yes it's pretty representative. You know it and I know it.

Discovereads · 25/09/2022 12:56

TinaPoopsy52 · 25/09/2022 12:26

@Discovereads

Thisnis absolute nonsense. Hormones hugely influence behaviours.

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They really don’t. Not even for animals. Basic biology babes.

bob78 · 25/09/2022 12:57

@keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth tired and stressed maybe, but no I absolutely do not know or believe full time working women are detached from their children. Not at all. I think you're saying that to feel better about your own choices, now that much I do know.

keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth · 25/09/2022 12:59

bob78 · 25/09/2022 12:57

@keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth tired and stressed maybe, but no I absolutely do not know or believe full time working women are detached from their children. Not at all. I think you're saying that to feel better about your own choices, now that much I do know.

You think or know?
Of course many are! Now you're going the other way and denying that happens.

Topgub · 25/09/2022 12:59

@runwalk

That's hilarious 😂

Its cute how obsessed you are with me 🥰

bob78 · 25/09/2022 13:00

@keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth I know that when people retaliate with something spiteful rather than constructive that it comes from a place of insecurity.

TinaPoopsy52 · 25/09/2022 13:00

Sisisisi · 25/09/2022 12:51

WelI was there and they are fucking furious!
Angry that younger women have more choices than them.

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@Sisisisi

Well your original post and follow up didn’t actually make it clear when they said they were furious that young women had more choices, just that they were ripping on women making their DH do chores - then you read into that them being upset you have more choices.

I think your projecting onto them.

runwalk · 25/09/2022 13:00

I know Topgub. I think we should enter ourselves for the next series of WifeSwap.

keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth · 25/09/2022 13:01

bob78 · 25/09/2022 12:57

@keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth tired and stressed maybe, but no I absolutely do not know or believe full time working women are detached from their children. Not at all. I think you're saying that to feel better about your own choices, now that much I do know.

How can you be the best parent if you're tired and stressed?
You're not even defending the argument you're trying to have.

I wouldn't expect you to be either though since you've said you choose to work when you don't have to.

Topgub · 25/09/2022 13:01

@keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth

I still can't get away with you thinking that's equal or as important as paying for it all and being husband and father

I guess you need to though eh.

bob78 · 25/09/2022 13:02

I wouldn't expect you to be either though since you've said you choose to work when you don't have to

Oh look your insecurity is showing again

TinaPoopsy52 · 25/09/2022 13:03

Discovereads · 25/09/2022 12:56

They really don’t. Not even for animals. Basic biology babes.

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@Discovereads

Er yes they do. Testosterone, estrogen etc absolutely influence behaviour for both humans and other animals.

What in the hell do you think influences behaviour?

keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth · 25/09/2022 13:04

Topgub · 25/09/2022 13:01

@keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth

I still can't get away with you thinking that's equal or as important as paying for it all and being husband and father

I guess you need to though eh.

Okay well lucky me then getting away with it.

keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth · 25/09/2022 13:04

bob78 · 25/09/2022 13:02

I wouldn't expect you to be either though since you've said you choose to work when you don't have to

Oh look your insecurity is showing again

Well we all have insecurities.

ImaDanishPastry · 25/09/2022 13:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

MsPincher · 25/09/2022 13:07

keepmywifesnameoutchagoddammouth · 25/09/2022 12:00

Lots to address there.

I enable him completely because there are things he never has to worry about which frees up time and energy to focus on work. You can't deny he's enabled to focus on work when he never has to clean anything or cook any meals.

He enables my freedom by taking all the financial burden.

I suppose you could say I'm limited, I'm tied to those school gates for sure, but my time is very free and personally I value my time.

When I worked full-time I felt very limited even before children, because I had to be at my job for 10 hours every weekday, including commute.

Those days, that's five days a week, were for work and nothing else. The weekends were for recuperation.

I don't know how I would have fitted in childcare and nurturing around that but if you can I applaud you. I don't see how it's possible but I believe you when you say it is, I'd need to see it in action to understand.

Being homosexual would eradicate the sex roles is what I meant, because you'd both be the same sex.

I feel very free not having a job. Does your job not take up every weekday?

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you don’t “enable him completely” any more than my cleaner enables me. I used to have an au pair that cooked delicious meals. She was great but u wouldn’t like

but I think your comment on gay people reveals what you really think- you’re trapped in a role that you see is for women. Were your parents like that? How would you feel if your dh decided that he would now not work and you could financially support the family?

in terms of me, I have a busy job which of course not every man who works has. But it’s a lot easier with now wfh. Also dds are at primary school now. And I’m totally free- I choose what’s what for my family. It’s amazing and I recommend it.

Discovereads · 25/09/2022 13:07

TinaPoopsy52 · 25/09/2022 12:43

@Topgub

There is no “actual” evidence of female hunters in pre history your talking nonsense. And all the tribes that were first contacted in colonial times that lives in a pre historical type way had strong gender roles.

I mean what do you expect? It’s so dependent on physicality when you live that way.

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Oh yes there is plenty of evidence for female hunters and warriors in historic and prehistoric times. Especially now that we can do DNA analysis on skeletal remains. Thousands of graves that were recorded as “male warrior” or “male hunter” were discovered to actually be women. XX chromosomes cannot be faked. Past anthropologists and archaeologists spent a good 200yrs calling graves a man or woman’s grave based on sexist gendering of grave goods. All of this has been over-turned in the past twenty years as they’re going back and doing DNA analysis.

On a side note, the same is true for many “female priestess” or “female weaver” type graves…DNA analysis = XY. So it’s been cutting both ways.