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AIBU?

To think a breastfeeding chair shouldn't be too comfy?

123 replies

AliceAbsolum · 24/09/2022 13:45

I may well be insane with this and pfb before they're even born. Do tell me if I am.

Baby due Dec. DH wants a big comfy chair in the nursery where he can put his feet up, lean back, etc. But I'm worried that makes it far to easy to fall asleep in, and that'll be a SIDs risk, and a more upright but comfortable one would be better.

What is/was your chair like? Any recommendations?

Jeshh... I'm sure I never used to worry about a frickin chair in this amount of detail.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

182 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
81%
You are NOT being unreasonable
19%
Newmom054 · 24/09/2022 13:47

Congrats!
Honestly I fell asleep just about anywhere when I had my babe but go for the most comfortable. I had a lot of back problems too so you'll need it.

Newmom054 · 24/09/2022 13:49

Also my chair leans back and is very comfy. X

pickledeggnog · 24/09/2022 13:49

Definitely a case of PFB

You have a long road ahead of you if this is a genuine concern before the baby is even here

AliceAbsolum · 24/09/2022 13:52

Were you not worried about falling asleep?

OP posts:
Testina · 24/09/2022 13:52

Forget the level of comfort of the chair… the best way to make sure you don’t fall asleep when feeding baby, is to make sure that your husband is pulling his weight to stop you getting that tired.
If he can’t take over feeds because you choose to breastfeed (which is fine!) then he needs to be taking baby at other times so that you get some rest.
And any night that you feel especially tired, and at risk, he can get up with you too - to make sure you stay awake.
My husband got up for most night feeds when my stepsons were babies - his job was to make his wife a cup of tea, wind, change and re-settle baby. She’s dead now, but her mother told me that she would say she was sometimes back to sleep before baby!

pickledeggnog · 24/09/2022 13:53

AliceAbsolum · 24/09/2022 13:52

Were you not worried about falling asleep?

No

Because my husband isn't a useless twat

I got plenty of sleep

As did he

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 24/09/2022 13:53

You can get breastfeeding chairs that you are quite upright and comfy. Look on Facebook marketplace. There are rocking type chairs with footstools that also rock.

Anyway besides the point but wont the baby be in with you for the first 6 months? Normally babies just go in their cot in their own room after 6 months. So for the first 6 months you just tend to feed them in bed since they are close to you in bed, rather than getting out of bed and taking them to their room and then bringing them back to you when they're done?

You will fall asleep feeding your baby in the early stages so I'd plan for this and make it as safe as possible, eg I slept with cellular blankets and a hoodie rather than a duvet as safer for the baby in the early days

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 24/09/2022 13:54

And if you do fall asleep a bed is much safer than a sofa type chair

Cloudwire · 24/09/2022 13:54

You're absolutely right to be concerned about the safety of areas where you might fall asleep with your baby. You're being very sensible to think about it in advance. It's not strictly correct to worry about SIDS in this instance, that refers to an unexplained infant death, whereas suffocation on an unsafe sleep surface would be explained.

There's no problem with having a lovely comfortable nursing chair, but if you feel you may fall asleep you should move to a safe sleep surface. You can look up the lullaby trust and the safe sleep seven for detailed information about what that might look like but be assured that you don't need any special equipment.

Skiingwithgin · 24/09/2022 13:54

I didn’t have a breastfeeding chair, just fed in bed, on the sofas and when little one went into her own room I got a nice looking rocking chair from next (which went with the room but wasn’t particularly comfortable for bf friendly).

honestly, I could have fallen asleep standing up in the early weeks, or on a hard stone cold floor.

you just make sure you don’t fall asleep. Yes it is a SIDS risk falling asleep with the baby. I set alarms on my phone if I was really worried or I slept and my husband stayed awake to watch us.

being a little PFB I’m afraid. Unless you’re on medication smoke or drink as well, SIDS risk isn’t too terrible. But obviously still avoid sleeping with baby unless doing it safely

Connie2468 · 24/09/2022 13:56

I actually agree with you and felt breastfeeding sitting up at night was too dangerous, especially in a chair!

I fed lying down at night so we could sleep safely.

NameChange30 · 24/09/2022 13:57

"DH wants a big comfy chair in the nursery where he can put his feet up, lean back, etc."

Eh? Is he planning to breastfeed the baby?!

Regardless of how baby is fed (breast or bottle) you will be thankful for a comfortable armchair, but it does need to be reasonably upright as it's easier to get in and out while also holding a baby. The key is that it needs to be high-backed with armrests.

I didn't have one for DC1, but when pregnant with DC2 I got a second-hand Dutailier glider, it was so comfortable and I spent many hours feeding and cuddling baby in it... was sad to part with it!

OriginalUsername3 · 24/09/2022 13:57

You need something supportive to be able to breastfeed comfortably. And a soft sofa-y chair will be harder to get up from if you have to have a c section.

Lawazzalawoo · 24/09/2022 13:57

Baby won't be in the nursery to begin with surely. Are you going to get up out of bed and take baby into the nursery to feed them? In the early days, I just used to feed DC in bed with me.

I had a recliner chair in our bedroom to feed them on and never fell asleep on it. This is what MN is for, to scroll at 3am to keep you awake.

Sophieleigh26 · 24/09/2022 13:58

I think it depends on how easy you fall asleep, maternal instinct kicks in. I breastfed laying down in bed and never fell asleep

piegone · 24/09/2022 13:58

I never had a chair because the baby was always with me, either in my room or in the living room so a big comfy chair seemed like an utter waste of money.

ShirleyPhallus · 24/09/2022 13:58

The ikea ponang chair is absolutely fine for this plus it has a removable washable cover which is good for baby vomit!

Connie2468 · 24/09/2022 13:59

Everyone is right as well though that you will barely use the nursery for the first 6 months so I wouldn't bother getting a chair for there.

Letthekidsplay · 24/09/2022 14:00

pickledeggnog · 24/09/2022 13:53

No

Because my husband isn't a useless twat

I got plenty of sleep

As did he

You may have got plenty of sleep but it doesn’t seem to have made you into a pleasant human being

AliceAbsolum · 24/09/2022 14:01

I didn't even think about sitting up in bed to feed. Not sure that would help me stay more awake however.

People saying lying down to feed - shouldn't they be in their own cot in your room? I think I'd be too scared to cosleep.

DH isn't planning to breastfeed obviously. But I might not be able to breastfeed, or might express. I want him to pull his weight. And he's fine with that.
But do people really get their partners to sit up each time and watch you incase you fall asleep!? If so then it is a huge concern surely?

So confusing 😣

OP posts:
Connie2468 · 24/09/2022 14:02

pickledeggnog · 24/09/2022 13:53

No

Because my husband isn't a useless twat

I got plenty of sleep

As did he

I did not get plenty of sleep in the first 6 months. I was breastfeeding every couple of hours!

My husband is a fantastic man but even so, he couldn't lactate.

NameChange30 · 24/09/2022 14:02

Connie2468 · 24/09/2022 13:59

Everyone is right as well though that you will barely use the nursery for the first 6 months so I wouldn't bother getting a chair for there.

My chair was in the nursery and I used it LOADS from day one, for breastfeeding and the occasional contact nap during the day. Not at night obviously as baby was still in with us (and I mostly breastfed lying or sitting in bed) but definitely used the chair at night too once baby was in her own room.

Slimemonster · 24/09/2022 14:03

Just feed in your bed on your side, keep duvets and pillows away from baby xxx

obsessedwithsleep · 24/09/2022 14:04

pickledeggnog · 24/09/2022 13:53

No

Because my husband isn't a useless twat

I got plenty of sleep

As did he

I don't understand how getting enough sleep correlates with not being a useless twat? Are you saying that if someone's baby doesn't sleep they're a useless twat?

pickledeggnog · 24/09/2022 14:04

AliceAbsolum · 24/09/2022 14:01

I didn't even think about sitting up in bed to feed. Not sure that would help me stay more awake however.

People saying lying down to feed - shouldn't they be in their own cot in your room? I think I'd be too scared to cosleep.

DH isn't planning to breastfeed obviously. But I might not be able to breastfeed, or might express. I want him to pull his weight. And he's fine with that.
But do people really get their partners to sit up each time and watch you incase you fall asleep!? If so then it is a huge concern surely?

So confusing 😣

Some people do get their partners to get up even if EBF to ensure they don't fall asleep

But it's counterproductive and a bit of a waste of time for all involved

I'd strongly recommend expressing, never had an issue with sleep deprivation as DH could then feed in the night

I must admit stories of the women who turn into zombies always gives me the eye roll as thankfully it's never been anything I or anyone I know irl has had to deal with

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