To think a breastfeeding chair shouldn't be too comfy?

[AliceAbsolum]

I may well be insane with this and pfb before they're even born. Do tell me if I am.

Baby due Dec. DH wants a big comfy chair in the nursery where he can put his feet up, lean back, etc. But I'm worried that makes it far to easy to fall asleep in, and that'll be a SIDs risk, and a more upright but comfortable one would be better.

What is/was your chair like? Any recommendations?

Jeshh... I'm sure I never used to worry about a frickin chair in this amount of detail.

I had an ikea rocking chair with footstool. It had wooden arms so I'd use a cushion when baby was small but it didn't had squishy padding and it's still well used 8 years on. It was handy to be able to tip myself out of the chair smoothly when DD had fallen asleep on the breast. It was mostly used for the 7pm feed so no real risk of falling asleep with her. I'd take her into bed for the night feeds.

We had a Next2Me snug to my side of the bed with the side up - so DD couldn't get across from it into the bed but it was very easy to pick her up from right next to me. So I mostly BF in bed and then put her in the crib when she'd finished.

Good for you! My “useless twat” of a husband couldn’t lactate and he went to work however.

The best way to breastfeed is to get as comfortable as possible! Lying down, on the sofa, in a chair. It’s much harder to breastfeed when very upright and easier when it’s more snuggly. I would go for the big, comfortable chair. I was given a very upright chair for feeding when my baby was born and I never used it.

OP, it is confusing,you're right.

At this stage you don't know what kind of baby you're going to get (fingers crossed for a sleeper!) or what kind of birth you will have (I breastfed lying down purely because it was too painful to sit up).

Lots of traditional baby advice is based on baby being on timed formula feeds and you might feel the advice doesn't work for you when you breastfeed. I found the books 'The womanly art of breastfeeding' and 'sweet sleep' absolute saviours. Before I read them I thought my baby was broken and I was doing everything wrong.

But don't feel like you have to learn everything now. If you like to read and be prepared, go for it, but keep an open mind. You will find you learn as you go along.

I quickly found the best feeding chair was one that was easy to stand up from while holding the baby. Also needed a drink and remote control or tablet etc next to it.

Ideally located in the living room, as my first baby could spend 45min-hr on a feed)

(With the second, I was usually feeding and entertaining the toddler at the same time. I could that baby anywhere!)

Cosleeping... I think all parents should be advised on the safest ways to co sleep because planned xo sleeping is a lot safer than falling asleep holding a baby or becoming so tired and being zombified. Its a very personal decision though. Before my first was born I was in the never camp. She wasn't born in the UK, and we were shown safer cosleeping in the hospital.

We have a rocking chair in the nursery and this is what I plan on doing from day one. It’s a really peaceful space and I can sit and look out of the window into the garden.

😂 same as mine. What a twat.

But do people really get their partners to sit up each time and watch you incase you fall asleep!? If so then it is a huge concern surely?

We had twins so when I fed one he changed the nappy and sorted out the other then we swapped over. I didn't breastfeed so he was able to do the whole shebang himself when needed. I did have a comfy chair in the bedroom as even when it wasn't night feeds there was somewhere to go to feed them if we had visitors. Still have the chair in the bedroom, nice and comfy for reading or watching TV.

What shall we do these terrible men? Mines booked me a surprise manicure and facial today, the fucking knob.

Arsehole.

Mine got up with the kids at 5am but I know now that if I'm not getting at least 6 hours sleep a night then he's a useless twat. I'll let him know.

Never had a chair. Had a bedside cot but baby ended up co sleeping and feeding in the bed for 9 months. Don’t fret the small stuff, get the essential baby things and then see what works for you. The lullaby trust publishes safe co sleeping guidance, it’s not something to be feared.

I think you're right - a chair for night feeds shouldn't be too cosy, because falling asleep in a chair is a very high risk for the baby. They can fall from the chair to the floor or into a corner of the chair, getting trapped between cushions (or worse, between cushions and heavy adult).

But - surely baby will be in your room, not the nursery initially. If you do feel like you are in danger of falling asleep, the safest thing to do is feed lying down in bed with covers away from the baby so that you can't drop them and they can't get covered by any bedding if you were to fall asleep.

It is nice to have a snuggly chair for cuddles and reading stories.

Psst. DH is not going to breastfeed in that big comfy chair.

Mine works 12 hours shifts but I’ll be damn sure to let him know that I’m the one who needs more sleep and that he should be awake when I’m breastfeeding the baby doing… erm… what should he be doing awake while I’m breastfeeding? Still not sure on that bit.

Yes I was about to say this. I don't ever fall asleep during films, TV, while reading, etc., and I never did when feeding DC in a situation where I didn't want to fall asleep. It might not really even be an issue.

I never used our breastfeeding chair. I fed either sitting up in bed reading on my phone or with DD2, coslept and fed lying down, which is an absolute gamechanger.

The Next2Me is the barrier

I never had a chair. I didn't really see the point of getting the baby out of the cot and moving to a chair to feed and then going back to bed.
i got a chico next to me crib and breastfed baby in my bed and then put baby back in the crib to sleep. No need to get out of bed. Best way to not fall asleep is to have snacks and water while feeding and i used the time to do internet shopping for xmas gifts.

Oh this has brought back memories 🥰🤣

With my first I fed sitting on an upturned bucket so I wouldn't fall asleep.

My second lay next to me in bed and we both slept.

I just used to sit up and feed in bed, no way would I have wanted to get out of bed and go into another room to feed every 1.5-2 hours all night, which is how often it was (sometimes didn't even go that long between feeds!) in the early days.

I used to play candy crush on my phone to keep me awake 😂 reading things on my phone didn't work, I needed something that required some concentration/interaction. I didn't make DH watch me to make sure I stayed awake, but he did do all the nappy changes before I fed DS.

We didn’t have a nursing chair to start with but after six weeks of arranging pillows and sitting cross legged to get the baby into the right position, my back was shouting at me so I cracked and got an Ekornes Stressless leather recliner and footstool. Mine was new but there’s heaps on Marketplace. I wish we’d had it from the start.

It’s been an absolute godsend for feeding and contact naps. I’ve since started feeding lying down overnight now she’s a bit older but it’s brilliant for during the day.

Whatever you get, make sure the arms are low profile as they push against them with their feet (it’s a reflex) and pop themselves off the boob 😂

Also I’ve never fallen asleep sitting up but do doze off feeding lying down. I make sure she’s in the safe co-sleeping position overnight (duvet at my hips, C-shape for me) in case I do.

The advice is to keep the baby in your room until the SIDS risk decreases so you’ll get most use from the chair when the baby is older.

If your baby is anything like mine, you’ll be using the chair way past the age when SIDS is a risk. When my 15 month old was going through separation anxiety I spent hours at night holding him in the chair in his room. I wished I’d bought a high back chair I could rest my head on.

For night feeds, in the first few exhausting weeks DH used to fetch the bawling babe to our bed and attach it then fetch me a glass of milk/water while the little vampire drained me dry. Then I slumped back unconscious while he changed the vampire's nappy , burped it and parked it in its cot.

Many decades later our exhausted sobbing DIL could not get her newborn to latch on. DS and I watched in stunned amazement as DH went up to her, murmured a few calming words then casually, expertly adjusted her breast, latched the baby perfectly to her nipple and slid a pillow under her arm. Magic.