To think a breastfeeding chair shouldn't be too comfy?

[AliceAbsolum]

I may well be insane with this and pfb before they're even born. Do tell me if I am.

Baby due Dec. DH wants a big comfy chair in the nursery where he can put his feet up, lean back, etc. But I'm worried that makes it far to easy to fall asleep in, and that'll be a SIDs risk, and a more upright but comfortable one would be better.

What is/was your chair like? Any recommendations?

Jeshh... I'm sure I never used to worry about a frickin chair in this amount of detail.

I do agree with you, I thought exactly the same. But I also think each to their own.
I didn't use a chair, I'd sit on the end of the bed and had a habit of tapping my toes against the cabinet and talking throughout to DS to keep myself uncomfortable and awake.

I sat in bed to feed until 6mo when baby went in to nursery.

I have a glider chair. Most important factor was that I could stand up easily without using my hands (baby fell asleep at breast and transferring to the cot was a challenge). So a low, deep, squashy or reclined chair would not have worked.

It's perfectly ok to nurse a baby to sleep. You might not want to, but you don't need to avoid it if you don't want.

Haven't bothered with a breastfeeding chair for any of mine tbh. Through my work I have heard stories of babies being accidentally smothered by tired parents doing feeds in chairs and sofas so it made no sense to me to waste money or have that risk. I looked up the lullaby trust safe seven and co-slept with all of mine. Learned to feed lying down which was an absolute godsend- it meant more rest (if not sleep!) for me and no post feed transfer wake ups. The one time I tried to stay awake and put baby back into their cot was with my second in hospital when she had just been born. Fed her half sitting in the bed as the hospital wouldn't allow co-sleeping. I nearly dropped her off the side of the bed over the rails as I was so exhausted I just passed out. It still gives me the wild fear now thinking about it.

Trust me... Your chair could be a chair of nails- if you're tired, and newborns are exhausting and sodding nocturnal, you will fall asleep so it's the best option to do that safely.

You wont use a nursing chair for nursing in a nursery till 6 months +

I personally wouldn't worry too much about it till then.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.
I have an 11 month old that I’m still breastfeeding - I BF her back to sleep at least 3 times a night. Never used a chair.
I wanted one for the nursery but I’m glad I didn’t as she is still in with us and I would say 80% of the feeds are in our bed.
in the first month I’d say the chance of me falling asleep with her nursing was nil because it was painful and awkward. My partner also woke and made sure I didn’t fall asleep.
she still sleeps in our room.
we bedshare and I feed side laying most lot through the night as it’s how we all get good sleep.

And yes ignore people saying not to feed baby to sleep.
it’s biologically normal to feed to sleep- if it wasn’t there wouldn’t be the sleep hormone in our milk.
you can’t teach baby to sleep it’s biological

First baby had silent reflux for 18 months. Wouldn’t take a bottle. Night nursing slowed down around nine months, but my husband—who works full-time in a demanding job—often got up to rock our son back to sleep. It was a team effort, given the difficulty of the situation.

Baby number two was a breeze who slept 12 hours by 12 weeks, so no nighttime team effort required.

That's a really unfair and nasty comment.

@AliceAbsolum it wasn't something I overly worried about, but then I had no intention of buying a new chair just to sit and feed in. I did fall asleep more than once when feeding my babies, it happened while sitting up in bed. I also co-slept with all my babies (though the first two were bottled) and breast fed the third to sleep every night till 14 months when I couldn't take it anymore. IME, so long as you're only tired, and not sleepy because of drink or medication, your body kind of 'syncs' with your baby and you can anticipate their movements and needs.

But of course, everyone has their own things they're willing to accept - genuinely I am the only person I know that co-slept.

Anyway besides the point but wont the baby be in with you for the first 6 months? Normally babies just go in their cot in their own room after 6 months. So for the first 6 months you just tend to feed them in bed since they are close to you in bed, rather than getting out of bed and taking them to their room and then bringing them back to you when they're done?

’Normally’?

Quite a few assumptions here! My babies all went into their own rooms at a few weeks.

OP - there’s no ‘normal’. You can do exactly what suits you 🙄

It might be biologically normal but it’s a hell of a job to fix.

Anyway besides the point but wont the baby be in with you for the first 6 months?

I don't understand this comment. Are you saying a nursing chair can't be in the parents' bedroom?

There's nothing to 'fix' if you don't regard BF a baby to sleep as something that is broken!

Fine if you don't want to do it, but please don't suggest it is wrong.

I'd forgotten about that! Yes, when getting up when holding the dead weight of a baby or toddler it helps to be able to get up easily!

Hi Op

I didn’t have a chair but I have been the Mum falling asleep whilst feeding
it’s scary and I get your worries completely

the only thing I can is that biology does kicK in and you will wake up with a ‘start’ as you drop off

I used to feed both of mine in bed and then transfer to snuzpod next to bey and hold their hands if needed as I dropped off- they cry if they need you

I fed both of mine to sleep at night til around 10months and still feed 12mth old to sleep at bedtime, but they both sleep brilliantly overnight and 12month old self settles for naps
so try to not worry too much and enjoy your tiny baby - they don’t want to be cuddled for long!

Well, the breastfeeding chair should be whatever you want it to be, to be confortable for you while breastfeeding while happy with the safety aspect, given that you (I assume, as you are calling it a breastfeeding chair) are going to be breastfeeding. While your DH is not going to be breastfeeding.

A very fall-asleepy chair with very soft sides or sort of made of big cushions like some chairs and settees are could be a problem. Pillows and cushions that the baby could sink down into are more the problem than Dad falling asleep with baby on his per se. Most chairs, even comfy ones, aren't realistically a risk. Babies can be at risk in all sorts of places, so it's is all about relative risk, you can't eliminate all risk.

It's recommended that baby sleeps in the same room as parents. It helps regulate their breathing and you can hear much more quickly if there's an issue. It helps to reduce the SIDS risk!

The Lullaby Trust has some great information that you should check out!

@Tadpoll its not a problem that needs fixing. It’s just natural.

I really don't understand buying a 'breastfeeding chair'. Well, I do from the point of views of baby shops convincing you of a need and making money... but - do you not already have an armchair? or sofa? or bed? I fed for over 2 years, never needed to sit in a special chair bought for that purpose.

Honestly, best way to not fall asleep is sharing the load and napping when possible. And feeding lying down at night.

The features which differentiates my BF glider from a regular chair was:
Low arms to allow me to rest my arms on them with baby BF on my lap.
Long seat and low down so my feet were well planted on the floor and my bum far back, so my back fully supported.
Gliding function was a bonus.
High back so again I was fully supported.
I didn't need it, but it was a lovely addition.

I also wouldn't bother with a breastfeeding chair. Unless you find a nice one going cheap secondhand. You may not want to co-sleep but frankly your baby may have other ideas. We did have a small sofa in my daughter's room (not bought especially, we didn't have space for it elsewhere). It was lovely for sitting on and reading bedtime stories. So if you want something to complete the nursery I'd suggest a large (normal) armchair or loveseat. Just not a full size sofa unless the room is massive and you will be able to keep it as the child needs bigger furniture.

"I didn't need it, but it was a lovely addition."

Ditto. Having it for DC2 made me realise it would have been lovely for DC1 as well. Life with a newborn can be really hard; why not make it a bit easier and more comfortable?

There's a tendency among some mumsnetters to be very dismissive about baby stuff that can actually be very useful to some people. Just because you didn't want it or managed without it, doesn't mean no one else will benefit from it!

You might not have found it useful but… some people have back issues that are exacerbated by the newborn phase, and some people are recovering from c-sections, and others find themselves building forts of pillows to feed comfortably on the bed or if they have a low sofa.

My chair isn’t specifically sold for breastfeeding but being able to recline with my back fully supported greatly contributed to my comfort when feeding. It will go in my office when we’re done with this phase of life as it’s so comfy!