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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husbands cousins have used the baby name we want

150 replies

blubbery · 21/09/2022 20:19

Their baby was born a couple of weeks ago. Ours is due next week.

Would you still use the same name ?

We have had our hearts set on it for years. They knew and obviously liked it too. Does it matter ?

OP posts:
Mariposista · 21/09/2022 21:59

My friend has the same name as her mother, grandmother and great grandmother. Nobody gets them confused. Use it.

1994girl · 21/09/2022 22:00

Who cares? Use it.

Pumpkinsnearlyready · 21/09/2022 22:01

Google the name. Bet there are thousands. And you would have used it anyway! Use it!

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 21/09/2022 22:05

In my family we are a group of 7 cousins. At least four of us gave our daughters the same name. I would still use the name

Need2P · 21/09/2022 22:08

I personally wouldn't use it but if it doesn't bother you, do it, or perhaps just use it as a middle name.

EfficientDynamics · 21/09/2022 22:17

They obviously didn't give a shit so I'd treat them the same way

If that's the name you've got your heart set on then use it. I think you'll forever regret it if you don't

JenniferBarkley · 21/09/2022 22:20

In my family I only have two cousins so I wouldn't. DH on the other hand has scores of cousins so we would - indeed may well have done!

In your case I wouldn't. It'll look like you copied, and your DH has said he doesn't want to. It's his side of the family and he knows the dynamics better.

xippo · 21/09/2022 22:32

just be prepared that your baby may always be referred to as little Billy, baby Billy or younger Billy.

Foxglovers · 21/09/2022 22:35

I would 100% use it. No one owns a name and it wouldn’t bother me if anyone named their child the same as mine either

Pollywoddles · 21/09/2022 22:38

Do it. My brother and my cousin have the same first name and surname and they each have a daughter with the same first name and surname!

LetMeSpeak · 21/09/2022 22:46

Yabu. I would think of another and for a child this is to me is a sign telling you the name just isn’t right. I guess if you are eager to then sure but it will cause too much confusion in the future.

Patchyman1 · 21/09/2022 22:53

My husband has a younger 1st cousin with same name as him and I have same name as my 2nd cousin. Our surnames are now different due to marriage. Never caused us any issues or upset.

TheCraicDealer · 21/09/2022 22:56

I would have no qualms about still using it if they were going to have different surnames, but them being the exact same name would give me pause for thought. If the cousins live a good way away and the kids are unlikely to cross paths at school or clubs or anything then it would possibly be ok, but if you’re in the same small town or village I would definitely pick something else tbh.

maximist · 21/09/2022 22:57

My cousin called her daughter the same name as my cat. I was devastated.

(I wasn't really, I've only ever met her daughter about three times and she's 18 now).

dontdarepokethebear · 21/09/2022 22:59

If it's a popular name, I would have a rethink. It might be a sign of things to come - being one of many.

Speaking from experience! I wish we knew how popular the name was we chose (my excuse was we were living abroad when DC were born).

But if you love it and don't mind your child being one of 6 in their yr group - go for it.

1stTimeMama · 21/09/2022 23:02

I just couldn't use it, but then I wanted names outside the top 1000 so I knew they weren't too popular, so there's no way I'd use a name someone I knew, nevermind family, had already used.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 21/09/2022 23:11

I have three sets of cousins called Joe and Chris. Two sets have the same surname. It can be faintly ridiculous at family get together, or when my grandparents were still alive (they had 2 grandsons with the same name, twice).

ShockedConfused1980 · 21/09/2022 23:14

Our cousins used a variation of my DD name I didn’t even know they liked our name. They told me after they always wanted to name their DD it but I got there first. We literally see them once a year it would not have made a difference.

Dreamingcats · 21/09/2022 23:15

I would still use it, but I'm not close to any cousins. If they lived next door I wouldn't.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 21/09/2022 23:21

use it

TrashPandas · 21/09/2022 23:24

Use it, no question. I don't even know all my own cousins' kids' names.

StClare101 · 21/09/2022 23:24

I’d still use it

Snoofox02 · 21/09/2022 23:25

Use it. I think it’s a bit different as you were pregnant around the same time so could have decided even before them

mistermagpie · 21/09/2022 23:29

I wouldn't personally use it myself I don't think (my SIL had a baby girl just before my daughter was born and used a similar sounding name to the one we picked, so we changed ours), but you absolutely can and should if it's the the name you want.

Deciding factor would be if they were going to the same school- if so, the same first and surname thing in the same year would be a dealbreaker. If not then go for it.

AquaTorfanaa · 21/09/2022 23:33

Use it.